Family Breakdown
by Arsosah
Summary: Only Mrs. Curtis died in the accident. Darry is in college, Soda and Pony lives with their dad, but he has changed. The family is no longer what it used to be, and everything goes downhill.
1. Head injuries

**Chapter One **_**- Head injuries**_

In the evening, the rain started to fall. Mrs. Curtis laid her arms around her oldest son.

"Darry, we need to go home now. The boys have school tomorrow."

"I know, mom. It was nice of you to come here. All of you." He hugged her back, then turned to his dad and did the same to him. "Bye, dad. I'll call you tomorrow, about my assignment. If you could help me with it."

He was in college now, and had been for the last seven months. Now it was march, and his parents and brothers had driven by to visit him. It was obvious which part of the two beds room that was his, his side was clean and the bed was made. Or had been, his brothers was now wrestling on top of it and had wrinkled the sheets. Not that it mattered. He was happy to see them. Sodapop heard his parents words and flew up at his feets.

"Already? We just came here!"

"We've been here three hours, Soda," Pony said, still lying on the bed, defeated.

"Say goodbye to your brother now, boys," Mrs. Curtis said. "Darry'll come visit us next time."

"Maybe in two weeks," Darry said. "It would be nice to see Tulsa again." He hadn't been home since christmas, even if the University of Oklahoma doesn't laid that far away from his home town. But he had a lot of schoolwork to do, football practice and games to play, and a part time job, so it was hard for him to get the time to come home to visit.

"Bye, Darry, see you soon!" Soda and Pony hugged him and waved in the doorway when they left.

"We should have taken the umbrella with us," Mrs. Curtis said when they ran through the rain to the parking lot.

"Little water doesn't hurt," Mr. Curtis laughed. "Now the boys doesn't need a shower tonight. We can save the water bill." He unlocked the doors on the family car and everyone jumped in.

"Seatbelts!" he reminded his still wrestling sons in the backseat.

"Yes, sir," Soda took his place, made a salute and grinned wide, while Pony yawned.

There wasn't much traffic out on the roads. Mr. Curtis turned on the radio, and he and his wife sang along with the songs, laughing.

"Not the beatles!" Soda protested, and his father changed the channel. Anne Curtis turned in her seat.

"Pony, are you asleep?" Her youngest son, thirteen year old Ponyboy, sat with his eyes closed.

"No, mom," he mumbled. "When are we home?"

"Twenty minutes," his dad responded. "And then we gonna..." he didn't have time to end the sentence. He saw the bright lamps on a meeting car getting closer, but something wasn't right. They where on the wrong side of the road. He pushed the brakes, hard.

Mrs. Curtis never saw it coming. She was still turned in her seat, watching her boys with a smile on her lips. She thought about how they should be need to wake up Ponyboy when they got home, the poor boy couldn't even keep his eyes open and would be asleep in a few minutes. She thought about what she would make for supper that evening. Maybe pancakes. And then there was nothing.

Mr. Curtis heard the crash. He flew toward, and his only thoughts was about his wife and the two kids in the backseat. He was glad his oldest son wasn't in the car, and he hoped they all would survive this. But then he felt the pain in his head when he smacked it against the steering wheel, and it all turned black.

Soda in the back didn't scream when he saw the car running towards their own. He just closed his eyes, and when he opened them again it was over. He blinked a few times, trying to keep his thoughts together. What had happened? A car... they had collided with another car. _Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit... _He could smell gasoline and wet asphalt and something he couldn't recognize. Everything was awfully silent.

He tried to feel if something hurt, but the only thing was a little pain on his chest and waist where the seatbelt had pressed down on his body when they crashed. He stretched his arms and wiggled his toes, and when he realized nothing else was wrong with him, he turned his head, looking at his younger brother. Ponyboy sat with his eyes open, terrified, but alive. Soda felt relieved and grabbed his hand.

"Pone..." he whispered. "Are you okay?" Pony swallowed.

"Yeah..." he whispered back. Something was itching on his temple, and he put his hand on it. It felt sticky. "Soda, I'm bleedin'!"

"Don't worry, Pone... we'll get help." He opened up his seatbelt and leaned forward. "Mom? Dad?" There was no answer. Pony cried, silent.

"Soda, my head hurts."

Suddenly someone knocked at the window next to Soda. He jumped at the sound.

"Are you boys okay?" a voice said and the man it belonged to opened the door. He gave them a worried look. "Me and my wife drove just behind you when we saw the crash."

"I'm okay. My brother is bleedin' from the head. How's mom and dad?" Soda asked quickly, before he could change his mind, afraid of the answer.

"I don't know," the man answered honestly. "Someone in another car said he would drive and call for an ambulance." A woman opened the door on Pony's side of the car and helped him out.

"Let me see," she said and examinated his head. "It's not so bad," she told him, and let him sit down on the side of the road while she pressed a handkerchief on the wound. Soda plopped down next to him and threw an arm around his shoulder.

"They'll be okay," he said, most to himself than to Pony. "They must." He refused to look at the wrecked car and the people who hovered around it. They hadn't helped his parents out, and Soda was afraid of what that ment.

XXX

Darry was speaking to a doctor. Soda wasn't sure who called him, or how he'd get there, but it was good to have him there. The three brothers was in a waiting room after the youngest ones had been examinated. Soda was unhurt, Pony got four stitches near his temple, but otherwise he was fine too. They thought he had cut himself on a flying piece of glass when the windscreen broke into pieces in the crash.

"How are they?" Soda asked as Darry came back.

"Dad'll be okay. He has a concussion and a broken arm, but it's not serious. He'll need to stay here a couple of days, though, so I'll stay with you in the house."

"And... mom?"

Darry sighed, refused to meet his gaze.

"Surgery," he said simply. "We'll find out more later." He turned to the youngest boy. "Does it hurt, Pony?"

"No. They gave me some pain killers." He gave them a weak smile. "I'm tired."

"We can't go home now," Soda said impatiently. "We'll have to wait for the news about mom."

"I don't wanna go home. I just say I'm tired," Pony muttered.

"Hey, don't argue," Darry said, and sat down in the hard chair next to Pony's. "Lay your head in my lap. Try to sleep for a while." Pony did so, and only a couple of minutes later, they heard his breathing got heavier. He was asleep. Soda tapped his fingers on his knee. He had a hard time to sit still.

"What surgery?" he asked so suddenly that Darry jerked.

"Soda..."

"Just tell me, okay? I'm sixteen, I can handle it." Darry hesitated just for a moment.

"Head. Something with her head. I think it's a bleeding."

"Like Pony?"

"No. Inside."

"Bleedin' _inside_ the head? You mean like... in the brain? That can't be good, can it?"

"I don't know, Soda. I'm not a doctor." But he knew Soda was right. It couldn't be good.

The time went slow. Soda got Darry a cup of coffe and himself a coke. He looked at the clock now and then, always surprised that it was only a few minutes since he watched it the last time. Pony mumbled something in his sleep, and Darry stroke his hair. His feelings was mixed. He was so happy his brothers was alright, glad that his dad would be okay, but in the same time, worried about his mom. The doctor who gave him the information had been serious, but had said there was hope. If there was life, there was always hope, right? He couldn't imagine a life without their nearly always smiling mom. How would Soda take it if she didn't make it through the surgery? And Pony... he was just a little kid, he needed his mom. And his dad... his dad would break. His parents had been together since they where fifteen years old. How could any of them continue their life without the other? Irritated at himself, he pushed the thoughts away. Of course she wouldn't die. He stiffened when the word _die_ flew through his brain.

A white dressed doctor approached them.

"Are you Darrel Curtis sons?"

Darry woke up Pony, made him sit up in his chair and then raised to shake the doctor's hand.

"Yes, I'm Darrel junior, Darry," he said. "This is Soda and Pony." He made a gesture at his brothers direction.

"I'm doctor Ben. Your dad ask for you. Please, follow me, I'll take you to him."

Pony rubbed his eyes and got up on his feet.

"Is mom okay?" he asked while they walked along a corridor.

"You have to ask the doctors who takes care of her," doctor Ben answered. "I'm your fathers doctor. He'll be fine." He stopped outside a door. "You can go in. I'll come back in a few minutes. Please, keep your voices down since it's not visiting hour. I'll make an exception for you, because of the circumstances."

Darry opened the door and the boys stepped inside. There was six beds in the room, five of them occupied. Their dad had one of the beds closest to the door. He sat up leaning against a pillow, a bandage around his head and a cast on his left arm. Pony sobbed and threw himself in his dads arms.

"Easy," Darry said, catching him. "Take it easy, Pone."

"It's okay, Darry. I'm so glad you're okay," Mr. Curtis said, tears in his eyes. "You are okay, right?"

"Yeah dad, I'm fine," Soda answered. "Pony got four stitches, but he's okay too." Pony nodded.

"How's Anne? You heard anything?"

"We don't know yet, dad," Darry said with a low voice. "She's still in surgery."

"She'll be alright," Mr. Curtis said and smiled at them. "The doctors are good at this hospital. Don't cry, Ponyboy. Mom will be just fine." He turned to Darry. "Why don't you take the boys home? They have school tomorrow, and it's almost midnight."

"We can't go now, dad," Soda protested. "We want to see mom first."

The door opened and doctor Ben stepped inside.

"I'm sorry, boys. You'll have to wait in the waiting room again. The other patients needs their sleep."

"We'll come back tomorrow, dad," Darry said. "I'll stay with Soda and Pony tonight."

"Thanks, son."

XXX

It took two more hours before they got any news, and they weren't great ones.

"What do you mean, coma?" Soda's eyes was tearfilled. Pony clinged on one of his arms.

Darry sighed, tired and sad.

"That's what they said. Apparently the surgery didn't went so well as they hoped, so she's in a coma now. They hope she'll wake up tomorrow, but we can't wait here."

"I want to stay," Pony protested. "What if she wake up and we're not here?"

"Then the hospital will call us and we'll come back. Don't argue with me, we're going home. Now. You guys need some sleep."

"Can we see mom first?"

"Not until tomorrow. We're not allowed to see her," he added before they got time to protest some more.

He turned around and walked towards the exit sign. Soda and Pony glanced at each other, then followed their brother. No one said anything until they came out to the parking lot.

"Who's car is this?" Soda asked when he opened the passenger door on a rusty ill-looking car.

"A school mate's. I've borrowed it when... when they called from the hospital."

"Are we goin' to school tomorrow?" Pony asked silently while they drove home. Darry shaked his head.

"No. It's almost two in the morning, and I guess you'll need a day home." He looked at Soda who sat next to him.

"No smile? I know you don't like school."

Soda grinned. He knew that Darry needed him to do that right now.

XXX

Darry made some sandwiches and coaxed his brothers to eat before he commanded them to brush their teeth and go to bed. They did what he said with no protests, which surprised him a bit. He knew they hated it when he played being dad. Normally. But this day hadn't been normal since his family left the parking lot at the college. He laid in his bed in his old room, afraid for the phone to call. That would mean something had happened to their mom. He knew that Soda and Pony still believed she would wake up. But they hadn't been there when he talked to the doctors. He knew they had given up. When they told him that they hoped she would wake up, he had seen the looks in their eyes. They maybe hoped, but they didn't believed it. They would lose her.

He wondered how his dad was taken the news. The doctors had been in his room before they came to Darry. But the boys wasn't allowed to see their dad anymore that night. He had wondered why his dad couldn't get a single room, but the doctors had just shaked their heads. The single rooms was for more seriously hurt or ill patients. Darry turned around in the bed, trying to made it more comfortable. It was no use. He couldn't sleep.

XXX

They sat and ate breakfast, or at least tried to eat, when the phone rang. Just before, Soda had asked when visiting hour started, and Darry opened his mouth to answer, when they heard it. Pony dropped his fork, and Soda stared at Darry, wide eyed.

"I'll get it." Darry felt his heart beating faster. He wiped the sweat from his hands on his jeans before he picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

Soda and Pony tried to listen, but Darry talked in a low voice, standing in the living room, so they couldn't hear anything. A couple of minutes later, Darry hunged up the phone and walked back to the kitchen, the car keys in his hand.

"Let's go."

"Darry, what is it?" Soda asked.

"We need to go to the hospital."

"Is it mom? Is she awake?" Pony sounded happy, and he had a smile on his face.

"They didn't tell me. Just said we should get there."

"Oh..." Soda met Darry's eyes, looking terrified, and Pony's smile disappeared when he saw it.

"Mom..." he whispered.

"I don't know. Come on, get out to the car."

XXX

They told them there was nothing they could have done. When she stopped breathing, when her heart stopped, the brain damage was already too serious. If they had tried to wake her up, and if they had succeeded, she hadn't been able to walk again. Or talk. Or to make any contact at all. She would have lost everything that made her _her_. If she had waked up, she hadn't coming home anyway. If she had lived, she hadn't been Anne Curtis anymore. So this was the best that could have happen.

The best?

They couldn't understand. How could it be _the best_, that their mom and wife laid cold in a hospital bed?

* * *

><p>Please review. Thanks :)<p>

**I don't own the Outsiders.**

English is not my native language, so I'm really sorry for grammar mistakes. I've done my best. If you tell me about the errors, I will correct them.


	2. Going back

**Chapter Two - **_**Going back**_

"How can you just leave, Darry?" Pony's voice was accusing, and his face held a disbelieved expression. "Dad _needs_ you!" He was standing in the doorway to Darry's bedroom, watching as his oldest brother packed his bag. Darry didn't hold up.

"I'm sorry, Pony. But I have to go back to school. I've already missed two weeks. I've a lot of work to catch up. Besides, my boss wants me back at work too, and I can't afford to lose it." Darry threw in another t-shirt, didn't even cared to fold it. He opened up another drawer, then closed it again when he realized it was already empty. For a moment he forgot that most of his things was in his room at the college. A couple of days after their mom had died, he had drove back to get some clothes, but he hadn't taken them all. He knew that he would be back there someday soon.

"But what about us?" Pony didn't want him to slip away that easy.

Darry sighed and sat down on his bed. Pony wouldn't understand despite what he said. He wouldn't, because he didn't want to. But Darry knew that how much it hurt, life must go on. He only hoped Pony would understand that too. Their mom hadn't want them to stop living. He needed to go back to school. Pony and Soda too.

"You have each other. You, Soda and dad. And I'm not that far away. If you need me, call me, and I'll come home. I promise."

"I don't want Soda or dad. I want mom!" Pony knew he sounded like a little kid, but he couldn't help it.

Darry raised and walked to him. He hugged his kid brother.

"I know, Pony. Me too. But..."

Pony struggle to get himself loose from Darrys embrace, and Darry let his arms drop.

"Whatever. Just go, Darry." Pony turned around and went to his room, banging the door closed behind him. Darry sighed again, and continued to pack his bag. He thought about the last two weeks. It had been a chaos. Their dad had cracked, just what he thought he would do, and Darry had to be strong for everyone. While he tried to take care of their dad, comfort his crying brothers, and the same time plan for the funeral, he hadn't even have time to feel something himself. He hadn't even cried yet. Three days ago they had buried Anne Curtis, and now he felt ready to go back to Oklahoma city. To college. To breathe. He felt bad for leaving his family in this condition, but college was a dream that had come true. He had worked really hard to get there, both in high school and on his part time job at his dad's work to save money for the expenses his scholarship didn't covered. If his mom had been there, she had told him to go. If his dad had been himself, he had told him not to threw it all away. But he had to be honest. He felt really bad for leaving his brothers with a dad who nearly couldn't get up in the morning. But if he left, his dad would be forced to keep himself together. He would be forced to be the adult again. So it could be a good thing for him to leave. Their mother wouldn't come back, and they had to learn to live without her. The sooner the better. He dropped his bag on the floor and went out to the living room. Soda and Steve sat in the couch, playing cards with the radio on. None of them seemed to even try to cheat or win the game.

"Where's dad?" Darry asked, hoping he wasn't locked up in the bedroom again. They didn't seen much of him these days. They hadn't seen him cry since the first days after the accident, but Darry thought he had heard sobs from his room in the nights. On the days, on the rare moments when he left his room, their dad mostly stared straight forward, looking at nothing. But he had been a little better the last days. He had smiled some, and talked even more. But he was far away from how he used to be.

"Kitchen." Soda looked up with a weak smile. "He'll be fine, Darry. Me and Pony'll take care of him."

Darry scratched his head.

"Soda...can you talk to Ponyboy? He's not so happy about me leaving."

"Yeah, I will. Later, when he has calmed down a bit. He understands, Darry. He's just upset right now."

"Thanks, buddy." He left them and walked out in the kitchen. His dad sat at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him. Darry poured a cup for himself and sat down in front of his father. Mr. Curtis smirked.

"So you're leaving today?"

"I have to, dad. I don't want to, but..."

"It's okay, son. Your mom... your mom would've want you to. You're the first in the family who goes to college. Don't spoil it."

"You sure you'll be okay? Because if you're not..."

"Don't worry, Darry." Mr. Curtis sighed and took a sip of his coffee. "We just have to... get used to it."

"In time," Darry said slowly.

"Yes. In time we'll get used to it."

Darry hesitated, but he had to ask.

"So when do you go back to work? I mean, you need the money." And his dad needed to get out of the house. Since the accident he had lost weight, and he was getting paler each day. It hurt to see their once so living, happy dad this way. Like he would never smile a genuine smile again.

"Tomorrow. I've talked to the boss the other day. He'll give me some work I can do even with this on my arm." He nodded at the cast. "I'll send the boys back to school, too."

"That's good, dad." Darry smiled. "They need to structure things up again." Things may never go back to normal, but it would get better if they tried, he thought. And they had to try.

XXX

"Pony?" Soda knocked at his kid brothers door. Darry had left about an hour ago, and then Steve had to go to work. It was a good time to talk.

"Go away, Soda." The voice was tired.

"Aw, come on, Pony, let me in. I just want to talk, is all." Soda leaned his head against the door, suddenly exhausted.

"I don't wanna..."

Soda knocked again.

"Darry's left."

"I know."

"Open the door, Pony!" he commanded.

Soda waited for a while, and then he heard Pony walk over the floor and unlock the door. Soda opened it and found a red eyed Pony on the other side.

"What do you want?" Pony turned around and walked back to his bed. He plunged himself on top of it and grabbed his pillow. It looked soaked.

"He had to go, Pony, you know that." He sat down beside Pony on the bed.

Ponny sighed, but nodded.

"Yeah, I know. It's just that... dad..."

"I know, but he'll get better. He'll start work tomorrow, and we're goin' back to school..." Soda made a grimace. Pony couldn't help but laugh at him. His brother always knew how to do that. Soda suddenly felt a little better, and gave him a grin.

"It's not that bad. I miss school," Pony said, throwing the pillow in Soda's face.

"I bet you do, little genius." Soda stretched himself forward, trying to mess with his brothers hair, but Pony jerked away.

"Stop it!" he laughed.

"Make me!"

XXX

It was dinner time, but no food on the table. During the last two weeks it had been Darry who cooked the dinner, but apparently their dad had forgot he'd left. Soda opened the fridge, examinated the food in it. It wasn't much, but with little fantasy he could make something out of it. And he had plenty of fantasy when it came to food. He chosed between the wares, hacked and slashed some of them into smaller pieces. In the end it became a mix with lots of different stuff. Pony wrinkled his nose when he saw the ingredienses in the bowl.

"Is that food?" he said suspiciosly.

Soda tried to look hurt, but didn't managed.

"Yeah. Can't you see?"

"Where's the meat?"

The Curtis boys turned around when they heard the voice.

"Hey, Two-Bit," Pony said. "Tell Soda this ain't eatable." He pointed at the bowl.

"Sure is," Soda said. "Try some."

Pony shaked his head.

"No thanks. I'm rather hungry than eat _that_."

Two-Bit examinated the food.

"What's in it?" he asked and grabbed a fork.

"A little bit of this, a little bit of that," Soda answered evasive, watching Two-Bit taste a bit. He chewed on it, with a strange look in his face.

"Um, Soda? I think Pony's right. It's not eatable."

"I saw you swallow," Soda said, defending his cooking skills. "Besides, there's no option. Eat it or not eat at all. Unless you want to go shopping for grocerys."

"We're out of food?" Pony asked. "Where's dad?"

"In the bedroom. Hey!" Soda grabbed Pony's arm when he walked past him. "Don't disturb him. He's asleep."

Two-Bit took another bite of Sodas food. Pony stared at him, shaking his head.

"Nah, it doesn't get any better. Come on guys, my car - Dairy Queen, what do you say?" Two-Bit held up his car keys and clattered with them.

"Thank you," Pony said, seriously. "Let's go."

On the porch they met Johnny, who was just about to open the door. Pony told him to come with them.

"Where's Dally and Steve?" Two-Bit asked while driving.

"Steve's working," Soda said and turned around. "You've seen Dally?" he asked Johnny. The dark haired boy shaked his head but said nothing.

"What about Darry? He's back at school?" Two-Bit parked the car and they stepped outside. Pony lighted a cigarette and handed the package to Johnny who took a stick for himself.

"Yeah, he left this morning," Soda said. "He had to." He glanced at Pony, who suddenly got a stone face."Come on, Pony! You know that!"

"Yeah..." his kid brother watched his shoes, refused to meet Sodas gaze. He was still mad at Darry. He could understand why he'd left, but he didn't liked it. The house was so empty without their mom, with their dad always locked up in the bedroom, and now Darry in another town. He felt like he'd lost his family. Only Soda remained. And the gang, of course. Without them he hadn't managed this.

They ordered hamburgers and cokes, and Two-Bit insisted on paying. Where he'd got the money from they didn't knew, but no one asked. That was Two-Bit's business. Soda blew a straw in Two-Bit's face.

"Can you pick us up to school tomorrow?"

"Sure can. You're coming back now?"

Soda nodded, a bit miserable, but Johnny turned to Pony and smiled.

"That's good," he said. Pony smiled back at him. They where best friends even if Johnny was two years older than him. He knew Johnny missed him in school, even if they hadn't the same classes. But they used to hang out together at the breaks and in lunch time. Soda looked at Pony.

"We'll have to go to the grocery store before we head home," he said. "I took some money from dad's wallet."

"I thought Darry would shop before he left." Pony drank the last of his coke, then burped and made the others laugh.

"I think he forgot."

"Superman forgot?" Two-Bit said and crooked an eyebrow. "That's something new."

XXX

Both Two-Bit and Steve came by the next morning. They sat in the couch, waiting for the Curtis boys to get ready. Soda stood outside his parents, no his dads, he reminded himself, bedroom. The door was closed and locked.

"Dad?" he said, and when there was no answer he knocked.

"Dad? You're goin' to work today?"

A muffled voice came from the room, but only Soda could hear what Mr. Curtis said. He looked a bit worried.

"Okay, dad. You want me to call 'em?" He waited for the answer, and then, "Okay, dad." He turned around and walked down the hallway to Pony's room.

"Pony, hurry up!"

"I'm coming!" Pony walked past him and went to the bathroom. Soda walked back to the living room, biting his lip. Steve looked at him.

"Your dad okay?"

Soda shrugged.

"He said he don't feel good. He's not working today." He said it with a light voice, but Steve knew him and heard the worry in it. But before he had time to say anything the screen door opened and Dally and Johnny came in. Dally tossed his cigarette out before he closed the door again. He knew they wasn't allowed to smoke in the house. Soda walked out to the kitchen to make breakfast, and a moment later Pony came out in the living room while he dragged a shirt over his head.

"Is Soda makin' breakfast?" he asked. The others grinned at him when he sighed. "I hope he make somethin' we can actually eat today."

"You know I can hear you," Soda shouted. "I'm makin' toast."

When they had ate, and it was eatable this time, they headed to school. Soda went with Steve in his car, and the others in Two-Bits.

"It's feels a bit strange to be back," Pony said to Johnny while they walked along the corridor at school. "Are people lookin' at me?"

Johnny glanced around.

"Yeah... a bit. But don't care 'bout them, Pony. I guess they know what happened to your mom." Pony bit his lip and nodded. Sometimes he managed to forget that his mom was dead. He liked to think she was still alive, just out somewhere. In the grocery store, or at a friends place. Not in a grave.

"What's your first class?" he turned to Johnny, trying to keep the thought about his mom away.

"Math." Johnny made a grimace. "You?"

"English. That's good," Pony said just as the bell rang. "See you later, Johnny? You too," he said, turned to the others. They all headed in different directions.

* * *

><p>Thank you for your reviews, they make me happy!<p>

_By the way, I changed the title, I wasn't satisfied with it. I think this is better?_


	3. Unpaid bills

**Chapter Three -_Unpaid bills  
><em>**

Pony and Johnny was out on the porch, smoking, while the rest of the gang dwelled in the living room. The only sound in the room was from the TV and Two-Bit, who laid on his stomach at the floor and now and then laughed at something on the TV-show. Dally leaned his head back on the couch with his eyes closed. He had a nasty black eye since a fight with another hood the day before. Steve glanced at Soda, who sat with an unusual expression in his face. He used to be a happy, smiling, living sixteen year old, but now he looked like a shadow of himself. Steve knew why. The whole gang had liked Mrs. Curtis, and they all missed her, even if, of course, the Curtis boys missed her most. But it wasn't only Mrs. Curtis they missed. Their dad had changed. Maybe that wasn't strange, but it sure effected them all. Steve knew Soda was worried, and hell, sometimes he felt it too. His own dad was a real son-of-a-bitch, that was the nicest he could called him, and Mr. Curtis had been like an extra dad for him since Steve and Soda where little kids. He remembered when he was at the Curtises house for the first time. He had been around seven, and finally got to understand how a real father should act when he saw Soda together with Darrel Curtis Sr. He never told them about his own parents, but somehow Mr. and Mrs. Curtis knew anyway and took him under their wings when he needed it. No one in the gang never had to ask if they could sleep over, and even if the family was poor, everyone get fed if they where in the house when the family should eat. The Curtis family had been one of a kind in this neighbourhood, but now... He pushed the thoughts aside, and flipped through the deck in his hand, counting the cards. Some of them was missing, and he tossed the rest of the cards on the table. No use to play with an deficient deck. But he didn't thought someone wanted to play anyway. He shifted on his seat, making Dally grumble something when he accidently bumped his arm into Dallys side.

Pony and Johnny came back in, talking in low voices, and Dally finally looked up.

"You haven't told us what happend," Steve said, tired of the silence between the gang.

"Happened, what?" Soda asked, confused. He took his gaze away from the TV, but Steve doubted he actually had looked at it.

"Dally's shiner." Steve nodded at his direction. "He got a hard one."

"Ain't nothin'," Dally said grimly. "The other guy look worse."

"I believe you." Two-Bit rolled around on the floor, lying on his back and leaned himself on his elbows. "Good ol' Dally would never lose a fight."

Dally glared at him.

"This is gettin' boring. I had more fun yesterday. Hell, I had more fun while I slept tonight. Why are we just fuckin' sitting here?"

"You're free to go if you ain't like it here," Soda snapped. Steve gave him a worried glance.

"What's up, Soda?" he asked, but he thought he knew the answer. Soda shrugged.

"Darry shouldn't have left," Pony suddenly muttered where he stood in the middle of the room, and nodded down the hallway where the bedrooms was located. "Dad has been in there a week now, we nearly never sees him." The silence fell over the room again after Pony's outburst. But then Dally got up to his feets, edgy.

"Well, I'm gettin' outta here. Someone comin'? Johnnycake?"

Johnny gave Pony a quick glance, but the younger boy ignored him, standing straight with his arms folded over his chest, glaring at Soda.

"Sure, I'll come with ya," Johnny said. He hated fights, and something told him the two brothers was gonna start to argue. It wasn't like Pony and Soda, but much had changed since the accident.

"Yeah, me too. " Two-Bit jumped up from the floor. "Steve?"

Steve looked at his best friend.

"Go, Steve. See ya tomorrow," Soda mumbled while le looked down.

Pony stood on the exact same spot, nearly not even noticed when the others walked out through the door and slammed it shut behind them. His eyes never left Soda's face. Soda put his elbows on his knees and leaned his head in his hands.

"What, Pony?"

"I think we should call Darry." Ponyboy's voice was sternly.

"We can't. You know he'll come if we do that." Pony raised his eyebrows.

"Well, that's the point." He walked over the floor and threw himself in the recliner. "Dad doesn't work."

"He will."

"It's been a week since Darry left, Soda. Dad said to him that he should go to work the day after, but he didn't."

"He miss mom."

"I miss mom too, but I go to school. I do my homework."

"What is it, Pony?"

Ponyboy raised and walked out in the kitchen. Soda heard him open a bin and close it again. Pony came back to the living room, and threw a bundle of mails on the coffe table. Soda looked at them. It was bills, unopened.

"What's this?"

"I found 'em yesterday. Look, Soda, it says _Urgent_ on many of them. What if they're gonna cut the electricity and water off? What if they take our house? Where we gonna live then?" He almost yelled.

"Calm down, Pony..." Soda looked through the envelopes and tried to think. "Maybe it's not that bad."

"Maybe it is!"

"Okay, okay!" Soda sat straight up and threw the mails back on the table. "I'll talk to dad about this. And then, if he still doesn't go to work, then we can call Darry."

"Why can't we call him now?" Pony muttered, shouting out his lower lip like a little child. "He's the grown up. He's dads best friend."

"Because he has school. I talked to him a couple of days ago, and he's really stressed. He doesn't need more stress right now, Pone."

"Promise you'll fix this, Soda. I'm scared," Pony admitted. "What if the money runs out?"

"I promise. And they won't run out. I've been thinking... maybe I'll start work at the DX after school, like Steve does." Pony looked surprised.

"Work? At the gas station?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Pony didn't answered.

XXX

Their dad didn't left his room until it was almost midnight. Pony was asleep, Soda had forced him to bed an hour ago. He sat in the couch, wondering what he should say to make their dad listen to him. He could show him the bills, but to what point? After all, it was Mr. Curtis who had hidden them. Or at least put them in that bin, not even opened them so he could pay them. Sodapop wasn't good at stuff like this. Serious stuff. He wished Darry had been there, and a part of him hoped that Pony would act against what he had told him, and call their older brother. But he knew Pony wouldn't do that, and besides, it shouldn't be fair to Darry. He needed to concentrate on his schoolwork. Even if Soda didn't like school he knew it was important to Darry. Suddenly he heard a door open, and his dad walked through the living room, on his way to the kitchen.

"Dad?" Soda said.

"Sodapop? You're still up?" Mr. Curtis walked to him and sat down in the couch next to him. Then he saw the envelopes on the table and stiffened.

"Dad, we need to talk."

Mr. Curtis sighed. He sounded really tired, and Soda felt like shit bringing this up. His dad had lost his _wife_, his companion through life, only three weeks ago. He should be at home, have time to mourn, not being forced to go and roof houses. It wasn't fair. But they needed the money. They hadn't much savings, and some of the money, if not all, had been used to pay for the funeral and the hospital bills.

"I know, Soda. I know."

"I'm just worried."

"We have some savings left. I'll pay this bills tomorrow, and... and I'll go to work too."

"Are you okay, dad?"

Mr. Curtis gave him a smile.

"Yes, Soda. I'm okay. I think I'll manage now."

Soda hugged him. "I love you, dad."

"I love you too, Pepsi-Cola."

XXX

The gang didn't showed up in the house the next morning. Soda and Pony sat and ate breakfast, avoiding to look at each other. Both waited to hear a door open. Pony grabbed his glass with chocolate milk and drank slowly. Soda bounched his leg and tapped with his fingers on the table, like he was listening to a music he was the only one who could hear. And then they heard the sound they had been waiting for, and their dad stood in the kitchen. He looked tired and was dressed in a bathrobe.

"Morning, dad!" Pony said with a smile. "Soda made coffee."

"That's good. Thank you." Mr. Curtis took a cup from the cabinet and poured coffee in it. Soda eyed him, but didn't asked. But the question hung in the air, and their dad didn't missed it.

"Yes, I'll go to work today," Mr. Curtis said. "Don't worry."

"We don't," Pony lied. His dad gave him a tired look, then turned to Soda.

"Can you make dinner today?"

"Sure."

"I'll be home at five, I think. Yes, five." His voice was dull and his eyes didn't seem to focus.

"All right." Soda took the last bite of his egg. "Are you comin' Pone? We'll be late. Bye, dad!"

"Yeah, I'm comin'. See you later, dad!" He stood up and hesitated when his dad didn't responded. Soda jerked his head, pointed with it at the living room.

"What?" Pony whispered. Soda grabbed his shoes with one hand and the other around Pony's arm and dragged him out to the porch.

"Wait, Soda, I need my schoolbag!" Pony headed inside again and grabbed his bag in the hallway.

"What's the matter, Soda?" he asked outside, while Soda put his shoes on.

"Nothin'. I don't know. He's so... different."

"Yeah...hey, there's Two-Bit!" The two boys ran to she street and jumped into their friends car.

"Where were you this morning?" Soda asked. "And where's Steve?"

"Steve took Johnny and Dally to school," Two-Bit answered. "And we thought you guys wanted to be alone... with your dad and all." Soda looked out through the window.

"Yeah... maybe."

XXX

"Was it your dad again?" Pony asked Johnny, meaning his splitted lip. Johnny raised one hand to his mouth, touching it gently.

"Yeah..." Johnny looked down, remembering yesterday. As usual his mom had start yelling at him, for nothing, and then his dad came home, drunk, and just slapped him. But that was commonplace for him. Sometimes during the last weeks he had had forbidden thoughts, wishing that it had been him and his parents in that accident, not the Curtis family. And then he felt ashame for wishing that, for somewhere inside he did love his parents, in some way. It was just hard to dig those feelings up when they acted like they did. He knew it was stupid of him, but he never wanted to stop believe that somewhere, deep inside, they cared about him. But they where sure bad at showing it.

"Where did'ya sleep tonight?" Pony knew Johnny never stayed in his house after he had taken a hit from his father.

"At the lot."

"Wasn't that cold?"

"No," Johnny lied. "Just a little."

"Why didn't you..."

"Hey," Dallas interrupted him. "Is this some kind of question game or what? Leave him alone, Pony," he grumbled. The three of them sat on the grass outside the school, smoking. The ground was a bit cold, but the april sun shine warm above them. Pony ignored what Dally said and turned to his best friend.

"Come to my place next time," he said. "You know you can sleep on our couch." Johnny glanced at Dally. The blonde hood tossed his cigarette away.

"I think I'll cut my classes the rest of the day," he said. "No use to ask you two to come along?" They shaked their heads. "Nah, didn't thought so." Dally walked away, without saying good bye.

"What about your dad?" Johnny asked with a low voice when Dally had disappeared. Pony shrugged.

"I don't know. He was up this morning. I really hope he'll be working today."

"He misses your mom."

"Yeah." Pony took a shaky breath. Quickly he wiped his face with his sleeve. Johnny looked at him, but didn't said anything. Pony was thankful for that. He missed his mom too, and sometimes it was really awful. He knew that if he started to cry, he couldn't stop for a long time. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to make his voice stay calm.

"You wanna se a movie after school? We can ask Two-Bit to pick us up after."

"Sure."

XXX

"Soda?" Pony let the screen door slam shut behind him. Soda stuck out his head from the kitchen doorway.

"Where've you been?" Pony dropped his bag, filled with books, near the couch.

"At the movies."

"You should've told me," Soda said and frowned. "How did you get home?"

"Two-Bit drove me." Soda walked back to the stove and Pony followed him.

"Is dad home?"

"No. But it's not five, yet." Soda opened the oven, checking the chicken. "Even if I like to cook, I sure miss mom's food."

Pony stiffened.

"We have to talk about her, Pone," Soda said softly when he noticed the look in Pony's face. Pony nodded, unable to speak. His brother tapped his shoulder.

"Can you set the table? Dinner's ready."

Their dad showed up directly after five. He looked tired, but gave his boys a weak smile.

"How was work, dad?" Pony asked after a moment. Soda glared at him, but Mr. Curtis only shrugged.

"It was... okay."

"Did you paid the bills?" Pony ignored Soda's looks, but whimped when he felt a small kick on his shin. His dad looked up from his plate.

"Wha... Soda told you?"

Soda sighed.

"It was Pony who found them," he explained, still a little irritated at Ponyboy. It hadn't been necessary to bring that up now.

"Yes... yes I did," Mr. Curtis said, but Soda noticed he avoided to meet his eyes. Something in his gut told him something wasn't all right, but he pushed it away. His dad had at least went to work, and that was a start. But later that evening, when he found his dad in the couch with a beer in his hand, and three empty bottles on the coffee table, he seriously thought about calling Darry anyway.

* * *

><p>I hope you like it! Thank you for your reviews!<p> 


	4. Broken promise

**Chapter Four** _- _**_Broken promise_**

Ponyboy turned on the switch. Nothing happened. He walked over to another switch and tried that too. Nothing. He tried a few times more, until he finally realized it was hopeless. The electricity was cut off. Johnny, who stood just inside the front door, shifted uneasy and gave him a strange look.

"What the matter? Can't you turn the lamps on?" he asked, reaching for a switch himself.

Pony shrugged and bit his lip, avoiding his friends gaze. For some reason, he felt ashamed.

"I guess... " he went silent for a moment. "Come on, lets go to the DX."

Sodapop would know what they should do, or at least he hoped so. None of the two boys said anything as they walked the fifteen minutes it took for them to reach the gas station. Pony kicked some rocks along the road, irritated at everything. His dad had at least hold one promise, he went to work every day, but apparently he had forgotten to pay the bill. Pony didn't like to think about it, but he knew what the money had paid instead. Booze. He wouldn't admit it, but he was scared his dad would turn up to be like Johnny's dad. Maybe not the abusive part, he couldn't even think that his dad would beat him, but the drinking part began to be real close. Not that his dad never drank when his mom was alive, but that was only on special occations, and then he never hid that he did it. Now he often drank when he was alone, still behind a locked door. That wasn't a good sign. But what could they do? They had tried to talk to him, not about the drinking though, but still. They tried to be there for him, both he and Soda. But that wasn't enough. He knotted his fists, wished he could turn back the time, that the accident never had happened.

The DX came in sight. Soda stood and filled up gas in a car when he saw his kid brother and Johnny walk across the street towards him. He waved at them.

"Hey, what are you guys doin' here?" he shouted.

Pony put his hands in his pockets, looking away when they finally stood in front of him.

"We're just stoppin' by."

"You want a coke? Go and grab one. You too, Johnny." Soda gave them a big grin, proud in his new DX shirt and cap.

"Thanks." The two boys went inside. Soda took charges from the customer in the car, then followed them into the shop. It was his third day at his new job, and he really liked it. He liked cars, he liked making money and he liked that he worked with his best friend. Even if Steve often was in the workshop fixing cars and himself had to stand behind the counter.

"Um, Soda?" Pony said, and glanced at Johnny's direction. He wasn't sure he wanted him to hear this. Johnny looked a bit confused, but then he understood. He moved away out of hearing to the magazine section, took one and flipped through it.

"What is it, Pone?" Soda asked, worried. It wasn't often Pony had something to say he didn't wanted Johnny to hear.

"The electricity is cut off," Pony said. "Nothin' works!"

"Aw, shit!" Soda frowned and punched his fist on the counter. "I thought dad had paid the bills."

"We have to call Darry! He said we should..."

"Wait!" Soda turned around at the sound of a bell. Some customers, an older couple, had come inside, and Soda managed to smiled at them. "Good day, how can I help you?"

Pony moved away and stood next to Johnny while he waited for Soda.

"Look at this. Lookin' tough, huh?" Johnny asked and showed Pony a page in the magazine.

"Yeah..." Pony glanced at it, but wasn't in the mood to look at cars. He was worried. He waited until the customers was finished with their shopping, then walked back to his brother.

"No, we can't call Darry," Soda said to him while he put the money in the cash register.

"You say that all the time. Why not? He said we should call him if we needed him!" Pony exclaimed.

"But we don't. Besides, he has no money, you know that. He'll need all he can earn himself. We can handle this, Pony."

"Like we've done this far, you mean?"

Soda sighed.

"Come on, Pony. Next friday I'll get my first paycheck, and then..."

"What? What then? You'll pay the bill next friday? Soda, we..." he hadn't noticed he had raised his voice until Soda shushed him. Soda grabbed his arm, not hard.

"I'll fix this, okay? I can borrow some money and pay it after work. Okay? Don't worry."

Pony shaked his head.

"But what about next time, Soda?"

XXX

"Steve?" Soda shouted to be heard over the music.

Steve stood leaning over a car's hood in the workshop when he heard him. He raised himself up and tried to dry the oil from his hands with a rag. When finished he put the rag in his pocket. He went to the radio and turned it off.

"Yeah?" He frowned when he saw Soda's expression. "What is it? Somethin' happened?"

Soda hesitated, but just for a moment. It was Steve, for christ sake, his best friend!

"Um... can I borrow some money?"

"Sure." Steve didn't asked what for. He knew that Soda only would ask for money if he really needed them. "How much?"

"I ain't sure. I've to check."

"Check what?"

Soda sighed and told him about the bill. Steve whistled.

"Is it that bad, huh?"

"Nah, I think it's nothin'. Dad maybe just forgot," he said easily. But Soda knew he tried to convince himself more than Steve. This wasn't like their dad. He had always been really strict to pay the bills in time. But of course, things wheren't like they had to been. His dad just needed more time, and until he was up on his feet again, Soda would take care of things.

After work Soda followed Steve home. They were lucky, Mr. Randle wasn't home, and Soda borrowed the phone to call the electric company to know the exact sum, and then Steve went to get the money from his room. The electric company promised to turn on the electricity the day after if he paid them directly, and Soda hung up the receiver again. He felt relieved. After that, Steve drove him to the bank so he could pay them. He managed just in time before the bank closed for the day.

"I'll pay you back, Steve." They where done at the bank and sat in Steve's car on their way home.

"Don't think about it, Soda," Steve responded. "It ain't no hurry."

"Steve..."

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell anyone. Okay?" Soda said with a low voice as he stared out of the window. Steve glanced at him.

"I won't." He parked his car outside the Curtis' house. The house was totally dark.

"Thanks for the ride. Guess you won't come inside," Soda said with a smile. But Steve could tell he was sad. But he didn't said anything, instead he grinned.

"I'll think I pass. I'm no longing for a night in the dark. Besides, I think Evie had some plans for us tonight. See ya!" He drove away and Soda stepped inside.

"Pony?"

"I'm here." Pony sat on the couch, trying to do his homework in the light of a candle. "Dad's not home yet," he said.

"I know, I didn't saw the truck." Soda went out in the kitchen. Since they couldn't make any warm food he made some sandwiches with peanutbutter to himself and Pony. He laid them on a plate and walked back to the living room.

"They'll turn it on tomorrow."

"Good." Pony's voice was dry.

XXX

It was nearly two o'clock in the morning when Mr. Curtis finally came home. Pony was aleep in his bed, while Soda laid slumped on the couch. He had tried to stay awake, but a day in school, then on his new work and later had to fix with the payments, had made him exhausted. He had to take care of his younger brother too, a brother who was angry and worried and sad, and kept asking him why their dad did this even if he'd promised not to. Soda had no answers. More than that their dad missed their mom so much that he couldn't think of anything else. Soda tried to be understanding, but it was getting hard. It was like he and Pony didn't have the time to mourn anymore, or the right to do it. But they missed their mom too. It was still hard to wake up in the morning when she wasn't there to make breakfast, or there when they came home from school, asking them about their day. It was the big things, that she always was there for them, with words and hugs and kisses, and the little things they never had thought about before, like food on the table and clean clothes. Their dad didn't do anything at all in the house, and the first weeks after the accident it had been Darry who took care of things. But now it was up to Soda and Pony. But they had school, and Pony had his homework and now Soda had his job too. Nothing was easy anymore.

Mr. Curtis tried to turn on the lights, failed of course, and stumbled through the dark, cussing, waking Soda up.

"Dad?"

"Turn on the lights, Sodapop!" his dad mumbled. "Can't see a damn thing..."

"I can't, the electricity is cut off," Soda said more sternly than he wanted to. His father stiffened.

"Oh."

Soda frowned.

"Is that all you can say? Christ, dad, you have to tighten up a bit. What if mom..."

"Don't mention her!" Mr. Curtis snapped. Soda jerked in the dark, hurt. It was silent a long time. Then Soda got up to his feets.

"I'll go to bed. I payed the bill, by the way. They'll turn the electricity on tomorrow." He fumbled his way to his bedroom. But before he had time to open his door, he heard his dad speak.

"I'm sorry, Soda. It won't happen again." Soda turned around, even if he knew his dad couldn't see him.

"I sure hope so," he whispered to himself.

XXX

The electric company held their promise, and the next day when Soda and Pony came home from school the electricity was on again.

"I've to eat somethin' fast," Soda told Pony. "I'll be at the DX in an hour." He searched through the cabinet after a can of soup.

"You work everyday!" Pony complained. "I thought you said twice a week and one weekend in the month."

"I've got some extra passes. But that's good."

Pony looked like he didn't agreed, but he didn't say anything. But it worried him that Soda completely had stopped doing his homework. Their mom had always been strictly that they should do it before they did anything else. Pony had nothing against it, but Soda had always groaned over his books. And now, when their mom was gone and their dad didn't seemed to care, Soda took the opportunity to not bother about school. Pony was afraid he would drop out. Soda had tried to mention it to his parents now and then before the accident, but they hadn't let him. Now no one was there to stop him if he decided to do it. Pony emptied his schoolbag on the kitchen table and sat down on a chair. He would start with math, his worst subject, and took his book and opened it. But he couldn't start, he had to talk to Soda about the thing that bothered him.

"Soda?"

"Yeah?" He had found what he was looking for and poured the soup into a pan. He placed it on the stove and turned on the gas. While stirring it with a spoon he watched Pony doing his homework.

"You'll stay in school, do ya?" Soda freezed in his actions for a moment.

"I don't know," he said, honestly. "I can work full time at the DX if I want to." He turned around, not wanting to meet Pony's eyes.

"But you don't want that, right?" Soda hesitated, then sighed.

"Maybe I will," he said after a while. You know I don't like school," he continued with a soft voice, turned around again, facing Pony. "I'm too dumb anyway."

"You ain't dumb!" Pony protested.

"I'm not as smart as you and Darry."

Pony hadn't the time to answer before they heard someone coming in through the door. It was their dad.

"Are you home already?" Soda said, happy to change the subject, but a bit worried since the clock was only three.

"I had to stop by the store," Mr. Curtis said. His boys was in silent, cause the bags he carried wasn't contained groceries. He had been in the liquor store.

XXX

Darry called that evening. Soda picked up the phone.

"Hello?... Hey, Darry!... yeah, everything is fine...he's asleep..."

Pony sat still in his chair at the kitchen table with the pen in his hand, trying to get something out of the conversation. After a couple of minutes, Soda called for him.

"Pone, Darry want's to speak with you." Pony went out to the living room. Soda held his hand on the phones microphone to prevent Darry from hear what he said.

"Don't tell him about dad!"

Pony frowned, but nodded.

"Sure." He took the receiver. "Hi Darry!"

Soda didn't like to be lying to Darry, but it wasn't only a lie. Their dad did sleep, but not because he was tired. He was drunk. Mr. Curtis had been drinking nearly a whole bottle before he passed out on the couch. Soda and Pony had looked at each other, and then in silent agreement taken the two remaining bottles and hidden them in the basement.

"Bye, Darry." Pony hung up the phone and turned to Soda with an angry look in his face.

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"You know why."

"I think it's stupid."

"It ain't stupid. Besides, he'll be home in a month, for the summer. And then maybe things are back to normal." Soda sounded like he really believed it.

"Normal? Things'll never go back to normal, mom won't come back!" Pony looked like he would start to cry.

Soda glared at the floor.

"You know what I meant," he said silent.

Ponys expression softened a bit.

"You really think dad'll stop drinkin'?"

"Yeah... don't you? He almost never drank before. It's just not him..."

* * *

><p>Thank you for your reviews! Please tell me if you like the story or not. If you do, hang on, it will getting worse for the poor Curtis boys!<p>

Thanks for the advice about the google translator. I'll use it, but sometimes it translate wrong/very funny, but it's a big help anyway! I hope my grammar is better in this chapter.


	5. Wooden box

**Chapter Five -_Wooden box  
><em>**

"Soda, are you sure?" Pony sounded a bit terrified. His eyes were wide-open, and he felt it was uncomfortable to stand in his dads bedroom. He shifted from foot to foot, clenched his fists. They hadn't been in that room for weeks. Not since before the accident. He avoided to look at the bed, remembered how they, when he and Soda where little kids, sometimes sneaked in to sleep between their parents on the nights. He had been like nine years old the last time, and he still remembered the nightmare which woke him up back then. And he remembered his mom's sweet voice when she calmed him down. The sorrow took a grip on his heart, and he blinked away the tears. He would never get used to this. And it didn't really helped that his dad behaved like he did, and Darry was gone and Soda tried to do everything by himself. He looked at the dresser, and the photographs on it. The family. His dad on one, his mom on one, some small ones with him or Darry or Soda, and then, the big photo with all of them, smiling. When had they taken that picture? A year ago? It was Steve who held the camera, his mom had asked him to. They where standing outside their house. He walked closer. Then he remembered, the top drawer... he opened it and found the albums. He glanced at Soda, but he was busy searching in the closet. Pony knew what he wanted to have, and he took one of the albums and searched through it. There it was, the photo. Quickly he ripped it from the side and put it in the back pocket of his jeans. Then he laid back the album and closed the drawer again.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Soda answered. "Or maybe you got a better idea?" He put up his hand to stop Pony from speaking. "Which not included calling our big brother?"

Pony muttered something inaudible. Soda ignored him and continued to search through the closet. Maybe it was stupid of him not to call Darry. Pony kept nagging about it, but hell, he was sixteen, he could handle this himself. He missed Darry, and he had had thoughts about telling him about their dad and all, but that wouldn't make anything good. Darry would skip school, and then Soda would feel bad about it. He_ had_ to fix this. He knew he could do it. One day at a time, one problem at a time. And now he was about to solve one thing that weighed him down.

"Found it!" He pulled down a wooden box from a shelf.

Pony glanced at the door, nervous their dad would come back. But he was at work. He hoped.

"But Soda, we can't take 'em!"

"We have to!"

"But..."

"Shut up, Pony." But he said it with a gentle tone. "Remember what mom always said?"

"No."

"Yes, you do." Soda took the box to the kitchen and placed it on the table. Pony followed him and watched as his brother opened it. It was money in it. Not so much, but it was their mom's private savings, and she had always said they should use them if time went rough.

"Not all of them, " Pony said, nervously. He had a feeling his dad wouldn't approve this.

"I have to, we need food," Soda answered. "And I've to pay back to Steve." He took up the bills, counted them and stuffed them in his pocket.

"Has he asked for the money?"

"Not yet."

"Then why must you..."

"Because if I don't pay him back now, I'll never be able to do it," Soda interrupted him. "All the money I earn at the DX goes to bills and food, Pony, you know that. And we still goin' back every day. Have you looked in the frigde? This is an emergency, like mom said. Take 'em if you have to. And now we have to."

Pony still wasn't sure, but what he was most against was to go behind his dad's back. Maybe their dad wouldn't say no if they asked him, but most likely he would. But they need to shop groceries, and it was taken the money or don't eat.

"Look!" Soda found something else in the box. It was some necklaces. Their mom's necklaces. Soda weighed them in his hand.

"Maybe we could sell these." Pony stared at him.

"You can't sell mom's necklaces, Soda!"

"Why not? She rarely used them anyway, and besides, she doesn't need them anymore, does she?

Pony flinched.

"Look, Pone, I don't like it either, but what can we do? Next time we can't afford a bill there will be a big problem. Mom had told us to sell them. She didn't cared much about jewelry anyway." That was true. There was some things that had belonged to their mother they never had sold, even if that meant they had to starve. But it couldn't be any harm to take a necklace.

"Just one, then. Take one she never used," he said. "Like that." He picked up a thin gold chain.

"How do you remember which necklaces she never wore?"

Pony shrugged.

"I just do."

XXX

Soda handed Steve the money. His friend looked down at his hand, then he raised his eyes, meeting Soda's.

"Really, you don't have to," he said.

"Yeah, I do. But it's not all of them, but..."

"Soda, come on! Screw the money, okay?" He shoved back the bills in Soda's hand. "You need them more than I do."

Soda tried to give them back, but Steve refused to take them. Giving up, Soda looked away and put the money in his pocket again.

"Fine," he said. Then, "I owe you, buddy," with a low voice. Steve just grinned at him.

It was lunch hour, and they waited for the rest of the gang to show up. When they did, all except Dally who had skipped school that day like always, they took Two-Bit's car to the DQ for lunch. Soda noticed Pony was in a bad mood, but he didn't asked him about it. He guessed it had something to do with the money situation and all. He sighed for himself. He didn't liked to take them either, but he felt that they didn't had a choice. The money in the house runned out fast, even if their dad actually was at work every day. But he drank too much on the evenings. At least he kept it that way, and not during the whole day. But still, Soda was worried. His paycheck wasn't nearly enough to cover what his dad spended on booze. The thought of dropping out school to work full time at the DX instead became bigger each day. He knew his dad wouldn't care a bit, but he wondered what Darry would say. Luckily, he didn't have to care about that. But Pony was a problem. He would be really upset if he became a dropout.

"So, what's up for the evening?" Two-Bit asked. "It's friday!" he added when no one answered.

"Well, there's a drag race..." Steve looked at Soda but avoided Pony, who rolled his eyes when he noticed.

"Sure, I'll go. How about you, Pone?" The last made Steve glare.

Pony shaked his head.

"Me and Johnny thought about the movies." Steve smirked, happy the kid shouldn't tag along this time. He knew Soda liked the kid, himself... well, he didn't hated him or anything, but he was only thirteen, and Steve didn't liked to baby-sit.

"Hm, what to choose," Two-Bit said, and looked from the one to the other. "Drag race or the movies... the movies or the drag race... drag race or..."

"Shut the fuck up, two-Bit," Steve said. Two-Bit pretend to be hurt.

"Hey, don't say that, maybe I'll choose to go with the little kids instead of you."

"We're not little kids," Pony protested. "By the way, I'll think you should go with Soda and Steve. I don't like to be thrown out from the movie theater because you'll never stop messin' around."

"Then drag race it is!"

XXX

On the evening they dropped off Pony and Johnny at the movie house.

"Be home before midnight, Pone," Soda said before they left. Ponyboy nodded and waved at the car when they drove away, then turned around and kicked on a stone.

"What's with you today?" Johnny asked him.

"What?" Pony snorted. "Nothin'."

"Right," Johnny said. "You're all happy and shinin'." Pony sighed deeply. He didn't wanted to talk about his dad with Johnny. Johnny's dad was a lot worse than Mr. Curtis. He just couldn't say anything. So instead, he tried to cheer up. He gave Johnny a little smile.

"Sorry. I just slept bad tonight." He looked at the clock on the wall on the movie house.

"Come on," he said to Johnny and opened the door. "The movie'll start soon." They bought the tickets and sat down in their chairs somewhere in the middle. It was a western movie, and when it had come to the end and the lights turned on, Pony and Johnny slowly started to walk home while they talked about it.

"I didn't thought they would hang'em," Johnny said. "It was a good movie."

"Yeah, the cowboy was tough... hey, what's happening over there?" They could hear shouts and cussings from a street nearby. Then they saw a parked mustang, and both felt chills along their spines.

"Socs," Johnny muttered. "You think they're beatin' someone up?"

"Probably." Pony sounded a bit scared. "Maybe we should help that greaser..."

None of them liked to fight, but greasers always stood up for each other, and only walking by wasn't something they would do. They sneaked closer to get a better look at the fighters.

"Oh man, it's Two-Bit!" Pony shouted, and both started to run.

XXX

Soda and Steve met up with Sandy and Evie at the drag race, and Two-Bit looked around to find a gal, preferably blonde, for himself. He used to be lucky with the girls, but this night apparently wasn't his. He drank up his second beer and tossed the bottle on the ground, kicking it. Nah, this night wasn't any fun. He walked around, looking at cars and talked to other greasers, and found out about a party some place at the east side. So he decided to check it out, maybe he would be more lucky there. Or he could call Kathy, but she had been really pissed of him last time they had a date, so he wasn't sure she would appreciate his call. They had an on and off relationship which never seemed to end. Right now he guessed they where off, but he wasn't sure.

When he walked pass the movie theater he looked for Pony and Johnny but he couldn't see them. Maybe the movie wasn't over, or they had already headed home. Of course, he could walk to the Curtis house and pick the kids up, but he wasn't sure Soda would like it. What Mr. Curtis had thought about the idea wasn't a problem, that man sure had his issues since his wife passed away. Two-Bit knew Steve was worried about Soda, and that Soda and Pony was worried about their dad. Himself, well, he wasn't so good on stuff like this, to worry about things. It would probably be all right in the end. He had known Mr. Curtis for a really long time, and he had faith in him. He would never abandone his kids for a long time, hell, that man could've won the price Father-of-the-year before the accident. He would be fine, in time. Maybe it was the thoughts about the Curtises problems that made him totally unaware of the mustang that followed him. When he noticed, it was already too late. Four socs stood in front of him, grinning. Two-Bit smiled back. He was always up for a good fight, even if he didn't liked to be outnumbered this much. But he had his prize, his beloved switchblade. He pulled it up from his pocket.

"Think we're afraid of a blade, greaser?" one of the socs said and laughed. He was a big, blonde guy, and Two-Bit recognized him from school.

"Nah," Two-Bit said. "You're way to dumb to be afraid of anythin'."

"Who do you call dumb, greaser?" the soc shouted, and Two-Bit started to laugh.

"You didn't get it? Dumb it is."

"You gonna regret you said that, greaser!" and the fight was on. Two-Bit held up pretty well, but he was alone against four, and the switchblade was kicked from his hand before he could do any harm with it. He cussed at the socs and got in some good hits, but he knew he was taking the worst of it. He got a hard punch on his left eye and a kick in the stomach when he heard the sound of running feets.

"Two-Bit!" It was Pony and Johnny. They threw themselves into the fight, and suddenly the Socs didn't thought it was worth it anymore. They had probably won the fight if they'd stayed, Pony and Johnny was tough but small, but maybe they thought more greasers was on their way. When they had left in their car, still shouting and cussing while they drove away, Two-Bit looked at his buddies. Johnny held his arms over his stomach and Pony started to get an ugly bruise on his cheek, but otherwise they looked okay. Ponyboy looked at him, concerned.

"Are you all right, Two-Bit?"

"Sure am," he said, wiping his bleeding nose. "Where's my switchblade?" He started to look around and found it in the gutter. _Thank you_, he thought for himself. To lose that blade had made him very disappointed.

The three of them sat down at the sidewalk.

"Got any weed?"

Pony took a package of cigarettes from his pocket and shoved it around. It was always good to smoke after a fight.

"I thought you where with Soda and Steve," Pony finally said, trying to make a smoke ring.

"I was," Two-Bit said easily. "But now I'm goin' to a party."

"Um, are you sure you'll go?" Pony asked. "You don't look that great."

"Well, maybe I can walk you two home and clean up a bit first."

XXX

When Soda and Steve got home Two-Bit still remained in the Curtis house. He laid sprawled on the couch, watching TV, shirtless. Pony and Johnny sat on the floor and played cards.

"What the hell happened to you?" Steve asked when he saw Two-Bit's bruised stomach and face.

"Socs. Lucky I had a little rescue party comin' my way." Two-Bit waved at Pony's and Johnny's direction.

"Pone?" Soda said a bit worried and rushed to his kid brother. He sat himself on his heels, and looked at Pony's face. He grabbed his chin to get a better look.

"I'm okay, Soda. It's just a bruise." Pony pushed his hand away.

"Yeah, I can see that." He turned to Johnny. "How 'bout you?"

"I'm okay," Johnny said silent.

"Someone need some ice?" Soda asked, but all three shaked their heads. Soda shrugged and sat himself in the recliner, while Steve muttering something about stupid Socs.

"Dad's not home," Pony suddenly said, and tossed away one of his cards and took another one from the deck. Johnny did the same. Soda frowned.

"Where is he?"

Pony shrugged while he studied the cards in his hand.

"Don't know. He ain't left a note." He placed his cards on the floor. "Flush!" he said. Johnny sighed and shaked his head while Pony picked up the cigarettes from the floor between them. Pony grinned at him.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reviews! I really appreciate them!<em><br>_

_I've maybe made a mistake in this story, I guess Pony shouldn't be in high school until after the summer? He's 13 in the story now, and his 14th birthday is in july. I hope you can have indulgence about that, and can see it as a minor mistake and not a major! I will not rewrite the whole story._


	6. Hidden photo

**Chapter Six -_Hidden photo  
><em>**

It was an eerie silence. Odd. Awkward. Soda and Pony sat on the couch, staring at their knees. Pony had a hole in his jeans, he discovered, when trying to let his thoughts drift somewhere else but there. In front of them stood their dad, and on the coffee table, the wooden box. He had found it empty this morning, and when they got home from school, it started. Mr. Curtis had yelled at them in about ten minutes, and hadn't even given them a chance to answer or defend themselves. But now he had finally stopped pacing back and forth in the living room, calling them thieves, bad boys, how they where a disappointment to him. Soda sat with a stern look in his handsome face, while Pony felt his underlip tremble and tried hard not to cry. The man in front of them wasn't their dad. He was Mr. Curtis, they recognized him, his brown hair, the blue eyes, the face that their brother Darry had inherited, but he wasn't their dad. Their dad had never yelled at them this way. Sure, he had been angry at them, he had been disappointed at them in some times, but at their _actions_, not them in person. They had never doubted his love for them. He looked desperate. He looked scared.

And now the room was silent, finally, and it was like no one knew what to do next. Then their dad opened his mouth again, Pony flinched, but there was no hollering this time.

"Where are they?" The tone was low, but harsh.

Soda folded his arms in front of him, finally able to speak.

"In the fridge," he said. "We needed food, so we took'em and bought some."

Mr. Curtis stepped forward and slammed his fist into the table, making both his boys jump.

"They weren't _yours_!"

Soda got up to his feet.

"Yeah, dad, they were! What did ya want us to do, starve? Mom said we should use them if..."

"Shut up!" Mr. Curtis shouted, and Soda pressed his lips tight together. "Sit down!"

Soda shaked his head.

"No dad. No. You've to stop this. Stop drinking. Yeah, we know you do that. I thought you've stopped, or at least cut down, but apparently not," he snapped. Their dad's face paled and he suddenly sat down on the floor. He hid his face in his palms, and softly moaned.

"Dad?" Pony whispered. He got up to his feets and walked around the table to him, sank to his knees and put his arm around him. He glanced up at Soda, who still stood looking angry.

"Think of mom, dad, "Pony continued. "She... she hadn't want you to..."

"Stop it! Don't say it, Ponyboy. Don't talk about your mom when you just stole her money!" Immediately Pony let go from the grip and stumbled backwards. He looked hurt.

"We didn't stole'em, dad..."

"I need them," Mr. Curtis said. "You better fetch them back."

"To what? So you can buy some more booze?" Soda said sternly. "You really think that was mom's plan for the money? So you could get drunk?"

Their dad cried now, scaring them both. He crawled into a ball on the floor.

"_Goddamn _I miss her..."

That made Pony cry too, and he paced forward again, and cling to his father.

"I'm sorry, dad...I'm sorry..." he whispered over and over again.

Soda felt tears in his eyes and walked to his dad and brother. Soon the three of them sat on the floor, hugged each other and cried.

XXX

But their dad didn't forgot about the money. The day after he was still mad at them. It was morning, they ate breakfast and Mr. Curtis searched through the house for money they knew didn't existed. Pony couldn't eat, and he dropped his sandwich on his plate.

"I don't feel so good, Soda," he complained. "Maybe I'll be home from school today." Soda raised his eyebrows.

"You sure? You ain't getting any fever, do you?" He leaned forward towards the table and tried to lay his hand on Pony's forhead, but the younger brother jerked his head away.

"Nah, I ain't got any fever."

"What's wrong, then?"

Pony shrugged and looked away. He couldn't explain what he felt. He wasn't sick... it was something else. They heard the door to the basement opened up, and Pony paled a bit.

"You think he'll find the bottles we hid?" he whispered. Soda sighed. They hadn't hid them very well, but the basement wasn't that big. Maybe they should've thrown them away instead.

"Yeah, probably..." Soda was right. Soon their dad came stomped up the stairs again and into the kitchen. He held the two bottles in his hands.

"You think ya're smart, huh?" he said ironically. Then his face suddenly softened and he put the bottles on the counter and grabbed a chair. He looked at them, while Pony and Soda exchanged glances.

"Look, boys," he said and sighed, then gave them a weak smile. "This ain't easy... for any of us. I just..." he glanced at the bottles. "I just need a little comfort right now. You understand that, do you?" Soda frowned and Pony stared down at the table. "It's not a problem. That two," he nodded, "is the last. I ain't an addict. You know that."

Pony nodded a bit stunned.

"You don't need them, dad," Soda suddenly said. "We can pour them.."

"No no no no, listen to me. They're the last, I promise. Just... for today." Mr. Curtis stood up again. "They're the last," he muttered and took them and left he kitchen. Pony chewed at his nails. It was an awkward silence for a moment, then Soda speaked.

"You want me to call school?"

Pony nodded.

"Maybe I'll be home today, too," Soda said. "We need to clean up the house." He looked around, at the dishes, the dirty floor, the dust on the window sill. He knew the other rooms looked the same. No one had cleaned the place for weeks. It was something else too, something he needed to tell Ponyboy.

"About school..." he began. Pony looked at him with an expression in his face that told Soda he already knew what he should say.

"Please, Soda, don't."

"It's no use, Pony. I fail all my classes... almost. And I really wanna work instead. I like the DX ya know. It makes me feel I'm good at somethin', and school doesn't."

"Good at what?" Pony muttered.

"The whole thing. The customers, the cars..." he trailed off. "Come on, Pony, can't you be happy for me? I can get a full time job!"

Pony looked away, but then sighed.

"Sure, Soda. If that's what you want..."

XXX

Soda called them in sick. Pony laid on his back in his bed, his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He had to think. That's why he didn't wanted to go to school. Sometimes it felt like the life just rushed by, too fast for him to get along. His dad's behavior almost made him forget to think about his mom. He wanted to remember her. He thought about the last time he'd seen her in life, at Darry's school, in the car...They where just on the way home! Life wasn't fair. His mom was dead, his father drank booze, his oldest brother was in college and his second oldest brother was a dropout. And he... what was he? A thirteen year old cry-baby. He became aware of the tears that streamed down his cheeks. He wiped them away, but they came more and more. _Mom_, he thought, _where are you?_ He tried to feel her presence, but failed. He remembered when they used to go to church, and someone, maybe the priest, he couldn't remember, had told that the missing loved ones watched them from the sky. Back then he didn't knew anyone that had died more than his grandparents, and they died when he was really little, so he hadn't even thought about that until now. But he couldn't feel being watched. He couldn't feel her at all. That scared him. Was it possible for a human just to disappear? How could you know that somebody had lived at all? He turned around to his stomach and stuck his hand under his pillow. He took the picture he had hidden there. She was smiling on the photo, young and beautiful, with his green eyes and Soda's mouth. He could see a bit of Darry in her too, but he was more alike their dad. Maybe he and his brothers was the proof that she had existed? Somehow she still lived through them. Did they carried a piece of her in their spirits?

What had she liked to do? He remember her cleaning, cooking, doing laudry, repair torn clothing... didn't she had any interests? Yeah, she had singed a lot. When he and his brothers should go to bed when they were little, she used to sit next to their beds and sing for them. He couldn't remember the songs, though, and that bothered him. What else? He remembered her talk about drawing. How old was he then, ten or something. He had sat at the kitchen table, drewing a sketch, and she had told him she used to do that... paint. But that was before she got a family, and three boys to take care of.

Had she regretted it? Had she regretted that she lay all her life, all her soul, to take care of them? No, she had been happy. He knew that. She was always smiling. Almost. He wondered if she had smiled now, if she had seen how they had it. Suddenly he hoped they weren't watched. That she wasn't up there, guarding her family. That she didn't saw his dad... what he did. He couldn't understand it. Their front door had always been unlocked for their friends, because his parents knew how they had it at home. Addicted parents. Booze. Nobody who cared. Johnny, Dally and Steve... his dad had always welcomed them with open arms, being a dad for them too. A dad who didn't drank, who didn't threw them out or made them wanna leave and sleep outside. Was it sorrow? Was it sorrow who turned a man to become like this, or was it his fault? His and Soda's and Darry's. Maybe they wasn't _there_ for him in the way he needed them to be. Maybe they had to act differently. If he only knew how, what he could do to make it better. He failed his dad. He failed his mom. He didn't knew what to do.

He stared at the picture. Mom. Suddenly, he felt empty. He needed her, and she left him. His dad needed her even more. Why had she left them?

"Why mom?" he asked the photo. She smiled at him.

"Please, come back," he pleaded. She held her face a little on the side, her eyes focused somewhere behind the one who took the picture. "We need you, mom."

"I love you."

XXX

"Soda?"

"Yeah?" Soda turned off the vaccum cleaner and turned around. He had been busy cleaning their house while Pony did god-know-what in his bedroom. But now he stood behind him, leaning with one shoulder against the wall.

"Can... can we go to... mom's grave?" Pony asked silent. They hadn't visited the graveyard since the funeral, Soda suddenly realized.

"Now?"

Pony nodded. Soda saw that he was a little bit red eyed.

"Sure, I can call Steve or Two-Bit to pick us up, they should be home from school by now..."

"No, can't we go alone? You and me? We can take the bus."

"Yeah, okay. I'll just change my clothes." Soda still weared his pajama pants even if it was way after noon. He walked into his bedroom and got dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt, then headed back to Pony, who sat on the porch and smoked while he waited.

"How come you want to visit mom right now?" Soda asked while they walked to the bus station. Pony shrugged.

"Don't know, I just... thought about her."

The bus came in ten minutes and Soda paid for them both. They took the seats in the back, not that it mattered, they where alone on it. The bus drove slowly through the city. One time they had to change bus, and while they waited for the next one they bought hamburgers. They had just finished when the bus came, and they had to run for it.

"Soda, what do you think mom would say?" Pony suddenly asked when he had cathed his breath again.

Soda knew what he meant.

"Maybe she would understand. He's just sad."

Pony shaked his head.

"No, I don't think she would like it. You know what she said about Johnny's parents. And Dally's and Steve's dad. And you know what dad thought about them, so why does he do what he do?"

"I don't know, Pony. But it'll be alright. He said he would quit."

"You believed him?"

Soda didn't answered. Pony looked out through the window.

"Me neither."

XXX

They stood in silence in front of the head stone. Someone had placed flowers in front of it. Pony sat on his heels, sorted out the ones that had withered. He threw them away. He wondered who had left the flowers, but he knew his mom had a lot of friends. The first week after her death many of them had stopped by, telling them how sorry they where and left food to them. But now he hadn't seen them since then. But why should they came to the house when his mom wasn't there? Of course they came here instead. He rearranged the flowers, and when he was pleased he stood up again.

"We should've come more often," he said.

"Yeah," Soda agreed. "But it's hard, ya know." Soda stood with his arms around his own body, like he tried to comfort himself.

Pony felt he had so much to say, but not a word wanted to come out. How do you do this, he thought. How do you do when you have a dead mom? Maybe you are supposed to cry all the time. Show your sorrow somehow. Did he look sad? He had laughed a lot since her death, was that wrong? Maybe his dad was the one who made it right, who mourned the right way. He was the adult, he should now how to act. Maybe it was he and Soda that failed. Perhaps their mom was disappointed to them, who lived like nothing had happened. But did they?

"Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"You think mom sees us?" he glanced up in the sky. It was light blue, with some small clouds. Soon it would be summer. It was a warm day today.

"You mean now?"

"Like... always. Maybe not in the bathroom," he added and Soda grinned at him, but then he became serious again.

"I don't know, Pone."

"Do you think she sees dad?"

"You ask me if I believe in heaven?"

Pony shrugged.

"Guess so. Do you?"

"Gosh, Pone, I don't know. I used to, when I was a kid. Ya know, everybody did it then. But now... I don't know. Sometimes I want to believe it. But..." he looked away. "I usually not think about it. If there's a heaven or not."

Pony nodded. He didn't either. Until now. And he hoped there wasn't a heaven. He wanted his mom to be happy, not seing all the shit down here.

"But ya know, Pone, you can talk to her," his brother continued.

Pony looked at him.

"Do you? Talk to her?"

"Yeah, I do."

"You think she listens?"

"It doesn't matter. It feels good anyway."

"You think dad does it? Talks to her?"

"Ask him, Ponyboy. I don't know."

"Do you lie to her? Or do you tell her about dad?"

Soda didn't answered, but his face was painful. Pony shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at his mom's grave one last time.

"I wanna go home now."

They decided to walk home instead of taking the bus. It took them two hours, and they where silent almost all the way. When they got home it was dark. Soda opened the door, and when they stepped in their dad glared at them.

"Where the hell have you been?"

* * *

><p>Thank you for your reviews! I'm being very happy when you tell me what you think of this. I hope I stay in character but remember the plot is different from the book. But tell me if I drift too far.<p> 


	7. Don't talk

**Chapter Seven - **_**Don't talk**_

Soda and Pony glanced at each other, and then at their dad. He sat in the couch with a cigarette in his mouth. One of the bottles stood on the table, empty. The ashtray was full of cigarette butts.

"Well?" he said. "Where were you?" He seemed to have some trouble to focus his gaze.

"At the graveyard," Soda finally said. "We were visiting mom."

"You shoulda told me," Mr. Curtis said. He sounded angry. He threw his cigarette in the ashtray with a shaky hand.

"Why?" Pony asked while he frowned. "You haven't cared about what we've been doin' at all since mom died."

"I've told you, don't _talk about_ her!"

Ponyboy closed his mouth and stared at the floor. But Soda refused to let things go.

"We want to talk about her, dad. She's our mom! We've lost her too! She's dead and you're not the only one who misses her. You can't forbid us to..." Mr. Curtis stood up, walked fast towards them and slapped Soda hard in his face. Soda stumbled backwards, shocked.

"I said _don't..!_" Mr. Curtis gripped Soda at the collar. Soda just stared at him with his hand on his cheek, stunned. But Ponyboy snapped.

"What are you doin'?" he shouted and gripped his dad's arm and dragged him away from Soda. Mr. Curtis lost his grip on Sodas t-shirt, and then his balance, and he and Pony both slammed into the wall. Pony lost his breath when his dad's elbow accidently landed in his stomach. It wasn't that hard, but it landed on the right spot to push his air out. He whined, and the sound woke up Soda again.

"Dad, be careful!" He threw himself between his dad and his brother. Mr Curtis stiffened, and suddenly sank to his knees. Soda turned to Pony, who stood leaning forward with his arms around his belly. His face was pale.

"You okay?" Soda helped his brother to stand straight again. Pony looked terrified and couldn't stop sobbing. Soda glanced down at his father, who now cried again, rocking back and forth on the floor.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to...oh god, Anne, Anne..." he slurred, and suddenly, he threw up. Both Soda and Pony jumped backwards. They hadn't realized how drunk he was until then. First they just stood there, not knowing what to do. It was only for a few minutes, but it felt like forever. Soda felt his heart throb a bit faster than usual, and his cheek ached. Then he sighed. He had to do something. They couldn't just stand there all evening, not let their dad just lie there on the floor. He leaned forward, gripped his fathers arm and tried to make him stand. It wasn't easy, but somehow he managed without Pony's help. His younger brother just stood there, watching with big, green eyes. He had stopped sob now, but Soda saw that he had tears in his eyes. He looked so young. To young for seeing his dad in this condition.

"Come on, dad, I'll help you to the shower," Soda mumbled and began to lead Mr. Curtis down the hallway. His father stumbled, and leaned heavy on Soda's arm. Before they got into the bathroom Soda turned his head and looked at Pony.

"Can you clean up the mess?... Please?" he added when Pony just shook his head, wide-eyed. Soda gave up. "All right, I'll do it when I've helped dad." Somehow he managed to take his dad into the bathroom and helped him sit down on the toilet seat. He tried to drag his sweater over his head, but it wasn't easy. It was lucky his cast had been taken off some days ago, but his dad didn't cooperated at all. He was like a ragdoll.

"Dad, please, you have to help me out here..." He could hear the faucet in the kitchen being turned on, and understood that Pony had started to clean up in the living room anyway. He sighed again. This was too much to handle. What the hell had happened to their dad? He looked at him, studied his appearence. Mr. Curtis sat with his eyes closed, but he could see the dark circles beneath them. His face was pale and worned out, like he had aged several years in these two months. He had lost weight, he looked so tired, so sad, so... drunk. He smelled booze and tobacco, sweat and vomit. He was dirty. It was so different from his old smell, the smell of after shave and something else, something safe. Something that always had reminded Soda of his childhood, when he used to snuggle at his father's chest. He used to lay his ear against it, hearing his dad's heartbeat and his voice deep inside when he talked. He remembered how he used to fall asleep then, while his dad stroked his back, up and down. It must have been before even Pony was born, or when he was an infant. They had been so happy then. Happy until the accident. All those years, together. If they had known then that it wouldn't last...

Suddenly Soda felt like leave all this, just go, open the front door and walk away, to never return. But of course, he couldn't do that. Somehow he had to help his dad, make him stop this shit. He knew he hadn't been at work that day, and if he lost his job he was afraid it would get even worse. His dad had always loved his work, loved to take care of his family. Soda didn't knew this man, who was he? How could he have changed this much?

"Dad!" he said again, urged him to listen. There where no answer. But finally he somehow succeeded to force the sweater off. He dropped it on the floor, to wash later. "Dad, you have to stand up. Dad!" It was no use. Soda left him in the bathroom and walked back to the living room. Pony sat on the floor with a rag and a bucket of water. He looked like he wanted to puke himself.

"Are you okay, Pone?" Soda asked low. Pony just shrugged and continued to clean. "I need help with dad."

"I don't wanna help him," Pony said stubbornly. "Let him be."

"We can't do that, he's our dad."

"He _hit_ you, Soda!" Pony looked up at him. He had a look on his face Soda never had seen before. It scared him. "He has never hit one of us before. Never!"

"It wasn't that bad," Soda said quietly. "He's just drunk. He didn't knew what he did."

Pony threw the rag on the floor and got up to his feet. He was angry.

"Stop excuse him all the time! I'm so sick of this!" Soda didn't knew what to say, so he said nothing. They just stood there for a while, staring at each other. The house suddenly felt so small. Foreign. Like the walls creeped closer. Like the air was too thick to breathe in. Once they had lived in this house as a family. Mom, dad, three kids. What were they now? Nothing. Everything was gone... lost forever. Even if their dad would sober up, something was destroyed. And not only because of their mom's death. He couldn't stand the gaze in Pony's eyes anymore, so he turned around and walked back to the bathroom. Mr. Curtis had fallen asleep on the toilet. He sat with his head leaned on the wall next to it. Soda didn't knew what to do. He couldn't bathe him alone. But a sound behind him made him turn around, and there stood Ponyboy.

"I'll help you," he said silent. Togehter they succeeded to undress their dad and help him into the bathtub. When he was clean they wrapped a towel around him and lead him into his bedroom. They laid him in his bed and dragged a sheet over him.

"Good night, dad," Soda said and turned off the lamp. He got no answer.

XXX

A sound woke him up. He yawned, and flinched when he heard a voice.

"Soda?" someone whispered. Soda sat up and leaned back at his elbows.

"Pony?" he asked and turned on his lamp. Ponyboy stood in the doorway, blinking at the light, with his pillow in his hands. "What is it?" Soda looked at the clock on his desk. It was three in the morning.

"It's stupid," Pony said and turned around to walk away again.

"No, wait!" Soda exclaimed, making his brother stop in his steps. "What is it?"

"I... I just... I don't wanna be alone. Can I... sleep in here? I can sleep on the floor..." Pony's voice trailed off.

"Don't be stupid, Pone," Soda said. "Come here." He moved backwards and left space in his bed for Pony. Pony didn't hesitated, he stepped forward and climbed in.

"You sure?" he said and sounded like a little kid.

"Of course I'm sure, Pony."

Soda dragged his sheet over them both. Pony shivered, he noticed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, Soda, don't worry."

"He was just drunk," Soda tried.

"I know."

"He won't do it again."

"I _know_." But he didn't knew. He was sure Soda was wrong this time too. He had been wrong all the time since their mom died.

"Pony..."

"Please, Soda, can we sleep now? I'm tired." Pony put the pillow over his head, shutting the world out.

"Sorry." Soda turned around, threw his arm over his kid brother. It took more than an hour for them to fall asleep again.

XXX

The screen door slammed, revealed the whole gang. Dally and Johnny sat down on the couch, while Steve and Two-Bit walked to the kitchen. Ponyboy was making toast, and Soda stepped out from the shower in the same time. They hadn't talked about last night at all.

"What the hell has happen to you?" Steve asked him when Soda had got dressed and walked out into the kitchen. He had a bruise on his cheek.

"I walked into a door," Soda lied. He wasn't sure why he did it. This was his friends, and they would understand. Johnny got beaten all the time, Dally got a punch now and then when he choosed to go home, Steve got thrown out of his house by his dad more than once a week. It wasn't like they where strangers to abuse. But he just couldn't tell them the truth. Besides, he thought, it wasn't really an abuse. It was more like an accident. He met Pony's gaze. His kid brother looked at him for a while, with a strange look in his eyes, then turned around and stroked butter on a sandwich. If Soda didn't wanted to tell them, he wouldn't do it either. But he couldn't believe Soda just lied to his best friend.

"A door?" Two-Bit asked and snatched a sandwich from the plate next to Pony.

"Hey!" Pony shouted.

"What?" two-Bit asked with his mouth full. Pony sighed.

"Never mind." He shook his head and made some more sandwiches. People never learned to ate before they showed up at their house.

Steve looked at Soda with suspicion. Soda was never clumsy, it was more Ponyboy's style.

"Just how could you walk into a door?" he asked and folded his arms over his chest.

"It was dark." Soda avoided his gaze, and Steve's eyes narrowed, but he didn't said anything more. He should ask Soda when they were alone, he decided.

"Did you sleepwalked?" Two-Bit asked. "I did it once, when I was a kid. Nearly walked out of the front door with only my pyjama on me." He swallowed the last bite of the sandwich and shook his head. "Lucky I'm not sleepwalking nowadays. I sleep nude."

Soda rolled his eyes.

"No, I didn't sleepwalked. Stop naggin' about it, I'm hungry. You done, Pony?"

"Almost."

Dally and Johnny got out to the kitchen when Pony put the plate on the table. He opened the fridge and took out a gallon of milk.

"Hey, Dally, long time no see," Soda said and smiled at him. "Where've you been?" Dallas hadn't been at their place or in school for a week.

"Around."

"The cooler?"

Dally smirked. "Yeah."

"What did'ya do?" Pony asked and took a toast.

"Just some stupid fight." Dally picked up two toasts and handed one of them to Johnny. "It wasn't even a good one."

XXX

"So this gal, I walked to her and said 'Lady', ya know, that's what they like to be called, 'Lady, I think I've forgotten your phone number'..." Two-Bit babbled. He had talked the last five minutes or so, a story about some blonde he had met in the store when he was out shopping, which in his world meant stealing.

"Is there an end of this story?" Steve grumbled.

"Of course," Two-Bit said and grinned. "I've got a date with her on saturday."

"Poor girl," Soda grinned. Two-Bit picked up the football and threw it on him. "Hey, man!" Soda threw it back, aiming for Two-Bit's face. He missed, and two-Bit gave him a goofy smile.

"Where is Pony?" Johnny asked and looked around, even if he knew Pony wasn't at the lot.

"He's home, doin' homework."

Steve lay on his back on the grass with a cigarette between his fingers.

"Damn, I should do it too, I've got a lots of test next week," he groaned. He maybe wasn't as smart as Ponyboy, but Steve tried to take the school seriously. Or at least pass his classes. He didn't wanted to stay in school as long as Two-Bit.

"So why don't you?" Soda catched the football again.

"Why don't_ you_?" Steve replied. " I ain't seen you with a book for weeks."

Soda went silent, and suddenly the three of them looked at him. He smirked at them.

"I guess I can tell you... I'm gonna drop out."

Steve sat up.

"You are? Why?"

Soda picked up some grass and started to pull them to bits.

"It's not worth it anymore. I fail all my classes, and... I talked to the boss and he'll give me full time."

"At the DX?"

Soda rolled his eyes.

"Yes, of course at the DX. Come on now, let's play some football!" He gripped the ball from Two-Bit's hands and rushed away. Steve and Johnny threw away their cigarettes and ran after him.

XXX

Ponyboy picked up the receiver, then put it down again. He couldn't make up his mind. A voice in his head told him he was stupid not to call, another one told him he had to do it. But what should he say? _Dad's a drunkie and he slapped Soda._ Yeah, right. But he had to say something. Quickly, before he could change his mind again, he looked at the note where the phone number to Darry's dorm was scribbled down, and dialed it. He counted the signals, ready to hang up if someone hadn't picked up when he got to ten. After nine, someone did.

_"Yeah?"_

"Um, is Darry there? Darrel Curtis?"

_"I'll go check, hang on."_

It was silent a long time. Ponyboy started to think that the one who had picked up the phone had forgot about him, when suddenly Darry spoke.

_"Yeah, it's Darry."_

"Hey, it's Ponyboy."

_"Hey, Pony, everything's all right?"_

"Um... yeah, it's fine, but..."

_"Ya know, I havn't much time, I've got football practice in ten minutes, can I call you tomorrow?"_

"Sure... yeah, it's okay."

_"So everything's okay at home? I mean, you don't actually use to call me."_

"It's fine. I just wanted to talk, is all."

_"Okay, buddy... I've to go. I call you tomorrow then. Bye!"_

"Bye."

Damn. he hung up and returned to his room. His books lay everywhere, at his desk, on his bed, on the floor. He had a lot of work to do, but he couldn't concentrate. He wondered where his dad was. When they left for school he was at home, but when they come back he wasn't there. Soda was sure he was at work, but Pony had his doubts. It was just a gut feeling. He grabbed his history book and tried to make some sense to the text he was reading, but it was no use. He had so much in his mind these days, school work just didn't fit. He could only hope he would pass with A's this semester.

* * *

><p>Thanks again for all reviews! I SO appreciate them! :)<p> 


	8. New friends

**Chapter Eight - **_**New friends**_

It was the first day in school without Sodapop. Pony thought it felt strange when they dropped him off at the DX that morning, but Soda seemed happy. It was only a few weeks left in school, maybe an odd time to drop out, but Soda knew his grades where almost only F's anyway, so it wasn't any idea to continue after he had made up his mind. Instead, he jumped out of Two-Bit's car and waved at his friends and brother when they drove off to school. Two-Bit pushed the gas pedal and drove out on the streets again. Pony turned around in his seat and watched as his brother walked into the workshop, adjusting his DX cap on his blonde hair.

"You alright?" Johnny asked in a low voice, so Two-Bit and Steve in the front shouldn't hear him. He knew Pony didn't liked the idea of Soda not going to school anymore.

"I'm fine."

But he wasn't. His brother was a dropout. And their dad said nothing to him. He didn't cared. Pony couldn't understand it. For him, good grades meant everything, it was a ticket out from the poor life, to something new, to college like Darry. But he wasn't Soda. And he had to admit that Soda hadn't done so great in school. But he could at least try, couldn't he? And he would miss him during the breaks. Sure, he had his friends to hang out with, but they weren't Soda. He needed his brother.

The classes followed each other, history, math, english. At lunch he refused to meet the others and spent the time in the library instead, trying to do some homework. He still thought about Soda. And Darry. Soda hadn't told him yet, he would wait until Darry got home for the summer. If he did. Darry had called back like he said he would, but Pony hadn't said a word to him about how it was at home. He just couldn't speak about it. Darry had been so positive about things, that everything seemed so fine. Then Darry had talked about a summer job he had got, a well paid one, and that he maybe would choose to stay in Oklahoma City for the summer. He mentioned a girl too, just briefly, but Pony understood it could be serious between them. A part of Pony wanted Darry to stay in Oklahoma during the summer, another part wanted him to came home. He didn't wanted Darry to be disappointed, he realized. He and Soda had both witnessed their fathers changes, but to Darry it would come like a shock. As far as he knew, everything was okay at home. But it wasn't. Pony gripped his pencil hard. The last week he had had a feeling in his stomach, a feeling he didn't even had shared with Soda. He suspected their dad had lost his job. Maybe it was because of that he had been so angry and drunk that evening. He hoped so. There had to be some explanation he could understand. He needed it, desperately. Soda seemed to go on, not care about the bruise, but Pony just couldn't. He couldn't forget what he saw that evening. He felt a bit ashamed of it, but he thought it was worse to see Soda got a slap by Mr. Curtis, than to see Johnny get abused by Mr. Cade. That wasn't fair to his best friend.

Since Soda had start working at the DX after school, he almost always came home after Mr. Curtis, so he had no idea of when their dad used to show up. But Pony knew. And the time he was home didn't fit with his old working schedule. Maybe his boss let him home earlier, but every day? Something wasn't right. He looked down on his paper. He hadn't written anything at all. But that was alright, he could do it at home. He looked at the clock on the wall and realized he was late for gym class. Fast, he collected his things and ran from the library to his locker.

XXX

His suspicions came more true when he got home that day. Two-Bit dropped him off outside the house.

"See you later, Pone!" He and Johnny drove off again. Pony grabbed his bag and stepped in, then stopped.

"Um, hi," he said, uncertain. His dad sat in the recliner, and on the couch sat two men. The three of them were smoking, and had been for a while, according to the smoke that lay heavy in the room. His dad always broke his own rules about smoking indoors nowadays.

"Why are you home?" Mr. Curtis asked. His voice was slurred, like it used to be these days. Pony discovered a lot of empty beer bottles under the coffe table. He stared at them, then looked up and met his fathers eyes.

"School's out at three on fridays, remember?" he mumbled.

"Yeah... right," his dad said and took a drag on his cigarette. But Pony knew he didn't remember. He glanced at the two men. He didn't recognized them, but his dad said nothing more, just raised a beer to his mouth.

"I... I guess I'll be in my room," Pony said and walked pass them. He shut his door behind him, and after he thought for a while, he locked it. He wasn't sure why he did it, but the two men on the couch hade given him the creeps. They had looked like real criminals, in a way he could picture Tim Shepard and his gang would look like in twenty years. More than hoodlums. Their eyes had been... hard. Why had his dad invited them into their house?

He had a lot of homework to do, with only two weeks left in school they had a lot of tests and assignments, but he didn't even managed to pick up his books from his bag. Instead, he sat down on his bed and tried to think. He took the photo from under his pillow again, and stared at it.

"Mom, what should I do?" He felt like crying, but didn't. He was tired of crying all the time. His stomach grumbled, and he realized he hadn't been eating since breakfast. But he wasn't in a mood to meet his dad's new friends. He laid back in bed, and before he knew it, he was asleep.

XXX

Somebody shook him, and Pony tried to push the hands away.

"Come on, Pone, wake up!" Soda let him go and Pony sat up and yawned. He stared at his brother.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"It's six, I just came home from work. You want some dinner?" Soda still weared his DX clothes, and he smelled gasoline.

"Yeah, sure." Pony rubbed his eyes. "Dad's home?"

"No. It looks like hell in the living room, though. Did'ya meet him when you got home?" Soda asked.

Pony hesitated, but decided to tell Soda the truth.

"Yeah, I did. Him and his friends." He almost spat out the last, and Soda didn't missed the tone in his voice. He raised his eyebrows, concerned.

"His friends?"

Pony nodded. "Yeah, two of them. I don't know who they are... maybe from work. But... they were smokin' and drinkin' beers, so... I don't know."

Soda scratched his head. He was to tired to deal with this. Not now. Not ever.

"I need a shower. Can you make dinner?" he finally said, then he got up to his feets and left the room. A minute later, Pony heard the shower turned on.

XXX

"So, we're like.. spies?" Two-Bit said. It was monday morning, and Ponyboy had decided to go to the bottom with things. The weekend had made him more determinded than ever, since his dad hadn't been home at all during the days. Maybe he was at Buck's, or another bar, drinking his sorrows away. Or maybe he where somewhere else, and Pony wanted to find out what he was doing. Investigating his work was just a first step.

"Call it what you want, Two-Bit," Pony sighed. He opened the passenger door on his friend's car and jumped in. Two-Bit looked at him where he sat behind the wheel.

"You _sure_ you wanna skip school? You_ are _Ponyboy Curtis, right?" He leaned at Pony's direction and studied his face close. Pony pushed him away.

"Just shut up and drive."

"All right." Two-Bit turned his key, and the car started on the first try. Two-Bit patted the dashboard. "I knew you could do it," he told the car. Pony rolled his eyes, and his friend grinned at him. It wasn't hard to convince Two-Bit to skip school. Even if he liked it, he always was up for an adventure. But when he saw the look in Pony's face, he became more serious.

"So," he said while driving, "what did Soda said about this?"

"Soda doesn't know."

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow, but didn't said anything. They got to a stop-sign, and he looked at Pony.

"Left," Pony said, understanding the unsaid question. "He's working at the new department store they build. You know where it is?"

"Yup. Halfways to the Socs territory." Two-Bit turned the steering wheel and made the car behind them honk. Two-Bit flipped out his middle finger at it. "Socs," he said. "You can't stop lovin' them." Pony stared out of the window. He was afraid. He hoped he was wrong, that his dad really was at work, and went there every day. Since the thing with the electric company his dad had paid all the bills, and Pony hadn't seen any more reminder letters, and he was the one who took in the mail. So his dad had money. Not much, like always, but he had. But if he wasn't at work, were did the money come from? Did he even wanted to know?

"Park some blocks away," Pony said. "I don't want dad to see us."

"Sure." Two-Bit hadn't asked why they were on this trip. He thought he knew what the problem was, what Pony wanted to figure out. If Mr. Curtis was at work or not. He parked his car outside an apartment building and both got out.

"What now?" Two-Bit asked. "You wanna talk to the boss, or..."

"No, no I can't do that. I thought we could just... stand somewhere and see if we sees him."

"Or maybe we just could look out for his truck," Two-Bit said. Pony looked surprised.

"Yeah... I didn't think about that." They started to walk. Soon they rounded a corner and saw the construction site and the shell of the new department store. Two-Bit shaded his eyes with his hand and looked up at the men working at the roof.

"They're really high up," he said. Pony was busy looking at the cars on the parking lot. He couldn't see his father's truck anywhere.

"Where is it?" he asked for himself, but Two-Bit heard him.

"You sure he took the truck today?"

"Yeah, it wasn't home when I left this morning. Besides, he has no other car."

"Maybe he's at lunch break?" Two-Bit tried.

"At ten in the morning?"

"You may have a point."

Pony took another round at the parking lot, and walked to the others nearby, but no truck. When they had searched the entire area and the blocks around for more than an hour, he sighed.

"Come on, let's go." They walked back to Two-Bits car.

"Kiddo?"

"Yeah?"

"What was this all about? Lookin' for your dad I mean? What does it mean?"

"I don't know, Two-Bit." Pony was quiet the rest of the way back to school.

XXX

For once they ate dinner together that evening, and to Soda's and Pony's surprise their dad seemed to be sober. He was almost like he used to be, before everything happened. He asked Soda about his job and Pony about school. It almost felt like they where a family again. Pony thought about asking his dad where he had been that day, but decided against it. He wouldn't spoil this evening. Unfortunately, it spoiled itself. The phone rang and Soda jumped up.

"I'll get it." He rushed out to the living room, hoping it was Sandy who called.

"Dad, it's for you." Soda handed the receiver to Mr. Curtis, then sat back at the table again.

"It was from your school," he said to Pony. Pony paled a bit.

"What?" Soda asked.

Pony picked at his food, suddenly not hungry anymore.

"Well... I kinda ditched some classes today..."

"What? Why?"

Pony glanced at the kitchen doorway, out to the living room.

"I'll tell you later."

"Is it about dad?" Pony nodded, and Soda suddenly looked worried.

"Tell me!" But before Pony could answer their father was back in the kitchen. He looked angry this time.

"It was your principal," he told Pony. "He said you didn't showed up in school today."

"I did," Pony said. "I just missed three classes."

"And why did you? School's important, Ponyboy."

"Tell that to Soda," Pony mumbled, making Soda frowned and his father even angrier.

"Soda's sixteen, he has right to drop out, and besides, he's got a job!"

"So? I can get a job too."

"You're fourteen, Pony, and you're too smart to drop out," Soda said. Mr. Curtis took a seat on the chair next to Pony's.

"Why did they call? They never use to call," Pony said. That was odd. He couldn't remember the school calling home when Soda had ditched his classes sometimes. But maybe they where worried about him. Some of his teachers had talked to him after his classes, asking him how he was doing and stuff about his mom and homeworks and falling grades. He knew he wasn't their star student anymore. But he tried. It was just hard.

"How the hell should I know? But I don't wanna hear you've skipped school anymore, Pony. Why did you?"

Pony pressed his lips together and shook his head. He wasn't gonna tell. But his father took a grip at his arm, hard. Pony whined. Soda's eye widened, and he stiffened.

"Dad..." he said, dropping his fork.

"Why do you care?" Pony shouted.

"Of course I care, I'm your father for christ sake! I'm the one that takes care of you."

"You mean when you drink and forget the bills and smokes in the house and not going to work?"

His dad's face darkened and he let go of his arm. Pony rubbed it. Mr. Curtis stood up so fast that the chair tripped and fell backwards.

"You're so ungrateful!" he said harsh, and left the kitchen. Pony was fighting against the tears. He understood why his dad was upset, his parents had never liked it when some of their kids ditched school, not that it happened very often. But his dad never used to be like this. When his mom still lived, they always listened to their kids even if they were mad at them. They had always letting them explain first, and then talked to them. Talked, not hollered. Pony took his plate and carried it to the trash can, throwing away the food. He had barely touched it, but he couldn't stand to look at it. This evening had been so good, and now he had spoiled it all, just because he was stupid enough to skip school.

"Pone?" Soda's voice took him back from his thoughts. "How's your arm?"

"It's fine," Pony mumbled. He looked at it. He had red marks after his fathers fingers, but it didn't seemed to be bruised. Soda frowned, but changed the subject.

"Tell me why you ditched, okay?"

Pony looked down at the floor.

"Me and Two-Bit drove to the new department store... you know, where dad's supposed to work."

"Supposed?"

"Yeah. His truck wasn't there."

Soda looked confused.

"So? That doesn't mean anything."

"I looked everywhere. He wasn't there ... and I think he's lost it. His work. He's always home too early, too."

"You're sure?"

Pony nodded.

"So where does he gets his money from?"

XXX

Pony met Johnny at the lot. It was a warm day, and they sat leaning against a tree and smoked up a whole pack of smokes. Johnny glanced at his friend now and then. Pony sat quiet with a look on his face Johnny recognized. Ponyboy suddenly looked older than thirteen, even if he was a small kid. Johnny had a feeling something was going on, something Pony didn't wanted to talk about. He guessed it had something to do with his dad. Johnny wasn't stupid, living in sixteen years with addicted and abusive parents, he saw the signs when he met others with parents like his. And it worried him that Pony had this look... it scared him. But in the same time, he couldn't believe Mr. Curtis would do something like his own dad did. No way! But he had to ask.

"Pone?"

"Yeah?"

"Did Soda actually walked into a door that day?"

Ponyboy just stared at him, miserably.

* * *

><p>Like it? Please review and tell me.<p>

Don't like it? Please review and tell me how I can improve. Thank you!

Criticism is always welcome! Both good and bad! I already know about my grammar though, but I hope it's not that bad. I use google and like three different dictionaries, but I know I make a lots of mistakes.


	9. Revealed lie

**Chapter Nine - **_**Revealed lie**_

"Well, did he?"

"Aw, come on, Johnny, don't ask me that," Pony said and turned his head away. He picked up the cigarette pack that lay in the grass between them, but threw it away when he found it empty. But he didn't cared, he had smoked too much anyway.

"So he didn't," Johnny said quietly. "Was it your dad?" He thought it felt strange to ask that. It used to be the other way around. Pony bit his lip. Then he slowly nodded.

"He drinks... a lot," he admitted. Johnny let out a breath.

"Geez, Pone," he said. He watched his best friends face. He had a stern look in it, like he tried to hide his emotions. But instead of hiding them, they were all over him. "Does Darry know?"

"No."

"But..."

"I called him, all right? But he hadn't time to talk. And he has school and a great job..." Pony's voice trailed off.

"So you won't tell him?"

"Soda doesn't want me to. He says we can handle this." Pony laughed, and it sounded bitter. "Works great, huh?"

"Your dad has always being great," Johnny said. "I can't believe this." And he couldn't. He knew it was true, Ponyboy would never lie about something like this. And even if he knew Pony's answer before he even asked, it hurt to hear it. He was used to his own folks hard words and fists, he could take it. But this, he wasn't so sure. Ponyboy's parents had been like his parents too. He thought about Mrs. Curtis and her smooth hands when she had helped him clean his cuts and wash the blood off after his fathers abuse. Her soft voice when she comforted him and told him it wasn't his fault. And Mr. Curtis had always been there, strong and kind, showing him how a real man should act. But if he, of all people, could change and be like his own dad... it was a hard thought to bear. And he felt sorry for Soda and Pony. They didn't deserved this.

"Soda says he's just sad," Pony announced.

"Maybe he is." Johnny thought about that explanation. Maybe it was true, that Mr. Curtis just lost it when he lost his wife? They had been a strong couple, always there for each other. Without her, there maybe wasn't a Mr. Curtis left? But he still had his sons. He had to be good again. People died all the time, and the relatives seemed to move on after a while. So why couldn't Pony's dad? "Just give him time, Pony."

"Yeah." Pony sounded sad too. Johnny put his arm around his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Pone. Your dad isn't like mine. He'll never be." It seemed to be the right thing to say, and he hoped it was true. But Pony wasn't so sure. It didn't took much to put someone over the edge. Just a car, driving on the wrong side of the lane. It was all that it took to take a life, to take two lives. One was dead and the other was changed. He shook his head, pushing the thoughts away and stood up. He couldn't sit here and talk about it anymore.

"Come on, let's go to my place."

XXX

Steve parked his car at the DX parking lot and stepped outside. It had been a rough day in school, and now he had a four hour pass to deal with. He yawned while he walked into the shop. Soda sat behind the counter, flipping through a magazine. He smiled when he saw Steve.

"Look who's comin'" he said.

"Busy day?" Steve asked, and his friend shrugged.

"Nah, like usual." Steve went to the changing room and exchanged his t-shirt to a DX-shirt. Then he grabbed his jumpsuit and walked back to Soda. When he got there he put a coin in the soda-machine, and pressed the button for a coke. It was hot outside! Soda had thrown the magazine away, and sat with his elbows on the counter and leaned his chin in his hands.

"How's school?"

"Boring. You miss it already?"

"Not a chance!"

Steve went to stand in front of him. He hadn't had the chance to talk to Soda until now, when they finally was alone. They had spent the weekend with Evie and Sandy, and when the girls wasn't around someone else had been. But now there where no customer's and he wouldn't miss this chance. "Are you gonna lie more or tell me what happened?" he asked, nodding at the bruise, and Soda jerked his head up. The bruise on his cheek seemed even more blue when he paled.

"I mean, a _door_, Soda? Come on! I ain't stupid."

Soda shook his head.

"Sorry, man."

"So?"

"So, what?"

"So are you gonna tell me?" Steve drank up his coke in one sweep.

"It was more like an accident," Soda explained, trying to avoid the conversation. But knowing Steve, he knew that wouldn't happen.

"Like you accidently ran into a fist or something? Knock it off, Soda, I know it was your ol' man!"

"Pony told you?"

"Actually, no. That kid doesn't say much. You told me right now, and as I said, I ain't stupid."

Soda sighed.

"He didn't mean to, he was just drunk and I talked about mom, ya know. He can't stand to talk about her."

"So you just let him slap you?"

Soda frowned. Sometimes Steve was a little bit too blunt.

"Yeah, like you lettin' your ol' man kick you out of the house." They stared at each other, both irritated, until Steve turned his gaze away.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "It's just so damn hot."

Soda smiled at him, not able to be angry a long time. "You've a lots of work to do in the workshop. Better hurry."

XXX

Pony and Johnny sat in the kitchen when the screen door slammed. But it wasn't the usual sound of Soda and Steve talking, or Two-Bit's noice , or Dally's sneaky steps or even his dad's heavy ones. Even if people came and went as they pleased in their house, Pony almost always could hear who it was. But this time, he couldn't. But they could hear someone whisper in the living room. Pony frowned at Johnny's direction, then stood up and walked to the doorway. He peeked out to the living room. The two men from last week, his dad's new friends, stood there, talking to each other with low voices. Suddenly one of them discovered him.

"Hey, kid, get outta here!"

Pony felt his jaw dropped.

"You heard me." It was the blonde that spoke. He was a big guy, and he glared at Pony. The other one stared at the couch.

"It's my house," Pony said. He felt Johnny sneak up and stood behind him, making him feel more brave. "What are you doin' here?"

"None of your business." It was the other guy this time, the bald one. "Where's Mr. Curtis?" he asked.

"Dad's at work," Pony lied. Truth was, he had no idea where his dad was. Johnny placed his hand on his shoulder and glared at the two men.

"Yeah, well, when he gets home, tell'em we where lookin' for'im," the blonde said.

"I don't know your names," Pony answered. They just laughed at him, but it wasn't of joy. The bald one whispered something to the blonde, then they walked to the door and left again. After a moment, Pony rushed to the door and looked out. The bald one sat behind the wheel in a blue car, and when he saw Pony he raised his hand and waved at him before they drove away.

"Who where these guys?" Johnny asked. He still leaned in the doorway to the kitchen. Pony turned around and let the door shut behind him.

"Some of dad's friends."

"They didn't looked that friendly."

Pony walked pass him.

"Shut up, Johnny. Want some food?"

"Nah, I better be goin'..."

Pony gripped his sleeve.

"No, stay... I mean, can't you stay until Sodapop's gets home?" For some reason he felt afraid to stay in the house by himself. Johnny understood.

"Sure."

XXX

"What did they say?" Soda asked that evening. He and Ponyboy sat in his bedroom. Their dad had came home almost at the same time Soda did, and they all had ate dinner together. Pony had told about the two men, and his dad said they where from work. But Pony could tell he was lying.

Pony found a new pack of smokes and took out a stick. If his dad could smoke in the house, he could too. Soda took the package from him and lit up a cigarette for himself too.

"I don't know, I couldn't hear," Pony answered.

Soda sat down on his bed.

"Maybe they where from work."

Pony shrugged. "Maybe. Didn't looked like it, though."

"So what do you think?"

"They kinda scare me... I don't know, Soda. Something's not feelin' right."

They smoked in silence for a while. Pony sat on the floor, leaning against Soda's door. Their dad sat in the couch and watched TV. The volume was high, and the sound echoed through the small bedroom. He hadn't stopped drinking. But neither Pony or Soda was surprised when they saw the new bottles of booze and the beer in the frigde.

"I've talked to Darry," Soda suddenly said. Pony raised his eyebrows.

"About dad?"

"No, about school. He called the DX."

"Why didn't he called home?"

"He said he did. No one answered." Soda's unspoken question hung in the air. Pony got it.

"Me and Johnny was at the lot after school." Pony took a deep drag. "So what did he say?" Soda got up to his feet and searched for an ashtray. He found one somewhere in the mess at his desk and knocked the ash from his cigarette in it.

"He nagged a bit." Soda gave the ashtray to Pony, and then plopped down on the bed again. "But he understood. I think he always has thought I would drop out sooner or later. And it's not like I'm lazy, ya know."

Pony yawned. It was getting late.

"He won't come home," Soda said. "He has decided to stay."

"Girl and job, huh?" Pony smiled. "Maybe it's for the best. He and dad's best buddies. I don't think he can handle this."

"Then let's hope dad'll put it together before Darry'll come home to visit."

XXX

The bell rang and Pony put his pen down. The test had been hard. He knew he would have made it if his thoughts hadn't been somewhere else, but they had, and he had probably failed it. Right now he hated the school, and was happy it was only a week left. But in the same time, he was afraid of the summer break. He didn't liked to be in the house, to be home. It was okay when it was just the evenings, but the whole days? Luckily he had Johnny and Two-Bit, who didn't had any jobs either. He raised from his place in the back of the classroom and took his paper to his teacher. She studied him behind her glasses when he put it down on the paper pile on the lecturer's desk.

"Are you all right, Ponyboy?" she asked him.

"I'm okay."

"And how's your dad?"

Pony felt cold. Why did she asked that? Like she could read his mind, she continued.

"I had your brother, Darrel, in my class some years ago. I recognized your father because of him, they are very much alike."

Pony didn't say anything, just waited for her to explain, while he shifted uncomfortable at his feet.

"I saw him in the grocery shop this weekend, and he... didn't looked very well." It was a nice description instead of being drunk.

"He just misses my mom," Pony mumbled. "He'll be fine." He wondered why the teachers never asked Johnny if he was all right, or Steve, or Dally, or Two-Bit. They all had lousy fathers. But he got his answer.

"I'm just worried about you and your grades, Ponyboy. You had all A's before, but the last months you've dropped down to a C. I really hope this test," she nodded at the paper pile, "will raise you up again."

"Yes ma'am."

He felt releived when he finally could leave. It was his last class, so he went to his locker to get his bag and books, then out to the parking lot to meet up with Johnny and Two-Bit.

"Watch out, greaser," some soc yelled at him when he passed by, and he turned around and glared at him.

Johnny and Two-Bit already sat in Two-Bit's car when he got there, and he opened the passenger door in the back and jumped in.

"Drop me off at the DX," he said to Two-Bit.

"Two-Bit's taxi at your service," Two-Bit replied.

XXX

Pony sat on the counter with a coke in his hand, waiting for Soda and Steve to close for the evening. They where both out in the workshop, trying to fix some car. Suddenly, the phone rang. Pony jumped down and rushed to the door.

"Soda! Phonecall!" he shouted. Soda stuck his head out from a window.

"Can you take it?"

"Sure, whatever," Pony muttered and walked back in. "Hello... I mean, welcome to DX, can I help you?"

"_Pony_?

"Hey, Darry."

"_Where's Soda_?

"Out in the workshop."

"_I called home, but you guys never answer there anymore. Where's dad_?

"What do you mean?" Pony said, a bit worried.

"_I haven't talked to him in a while, is all. Can you ask him to call me when you gets home_?

"Sure."

XXX

"Darry wants to talk to dad," Pony said to Soda when they had stepped out from Steve's car and seen him drive home. "He's gonna notice something is wrong. We should talk to him." Soda opened the front door and let Pony in first.

"I don't know what we should say to him."

"Maybe the truth. I mean..." Pony stopped, and Soda turned to him.

"What?" He followed Pony's gaze. Their dad's friends where back. They sat on the couch, but their dad wasn't anywhere in sight. The four stared at each other in silence, but then Soda stepped forward, in front of Ponyboy.

"What are you doin' here?" he asked. "You better go." Even if they hadn't done anything to them, the two boys had got some strange feelings about these guys.

"We're waiting for your dad. You're Sodabottle, right?"

"Soda_pop_. And I think you should go. Now."

"Well, Soda_pop_, you and the little brother of yours," the blonde one waved with his hand at their direction, "can go to bed. We're waiting."

"I don't think so!" Soda said as the blonde one got up. He walked to the oldest brother and leaned forward, his face just an inch from Sodas.

"Listen, you little squirt, you ain't gotta be cheeky, all right?"

Soda stiffened. "Get. Out!" he said with a hard voice. He felt Pony tremble behind him. In the same time the door opened and their dad came home. The blonde man straightened up again and backed away from Soda.

"About time," he said. Mr. Curtis looked from the one to the other.

"Soda, Ponyboy," he said. "Go to your rooms."

Soda turned to him.

"But..."

"Just do as I say."

"Whatever." Soda turned back to the man in front of him. "Nice friends you have, dad," he said, and his eyes never left the blonde one while he said it. Then he took Pony's arm and dragged him with him, out of the living room.

* * *

><p>Thanks for your reviews! :)<p> 


	10. Black eye

**Chapter Ten - **_**Black eye**_

_"Who are they?"_

_"It's not your damn business!"_

_"Yeah it is, when they comes into our house and scare my brother..."_

Pony took up his pillow and pressed it to his ears, wishing they could just shut up. It didn't helped. He could still hear the shoutings from the kitchen. Soda was furious, finally, instead of walking around with denial, but Pony wasn't sure he liked this new Soda either. This wasn't like him. Sure, he could be mad, his eyes could burn with rage sometimes. But never against his own family or friends. He could be angry at them, for short moments, but never like this. Him and their dad had been fighting quite a while, since their dad's friends had left the house. Pony and Soda had sat in Pony's room, which lay closest to the living room, with their ears pressed against the door, trying to hear what was going on. But the small fragments they could catch up said nothing to them. So when the men left, Soda told Pony to stay in his room and then walked out and cornered their dad in the kitchen. The screams had begun some minutes later, and seemed to go on forever. Pony guessed it wasn't only the men who had made Soda so angry. All things their dad had done, the drinking, the slap, the grip on Pony's arm, had finally reached his brother.

There was a loud bang and a crash, and Pony jerked up, dropping the pillow to the floor. He stared at his closed door, like he tried to see right through it. Suddenly, it all was silent. Pony chewed on his nails, nervous. He thought about walk out and see what was going on, but he just couldn't get up on his feet. His body didn't obeyed him. So he waited. He could hear the screen door slam and the faucet in the bathroom be turned on. Who had left? He hoped it was his dad and not Soda. But he was too afraid to go out and see who it was. He felt silly. There was nothing to be afraid of, and besides, he was a greaser and shouldn't be scared. Some minutes later, his door opened up and Soda walked in. Pony jumped up.

"My gosh, Soda!" he shouted.

"Don't say anything." His brother walked to the desk and picked up the cigarette pack which lay there. He took a stick and lit it. His hands shook a bit when he lit the match. It was obvious he was still angry, or upset, or both.

"Was... was it dad?" Pony asked, even if he knew the answer. It was a stupid question. Soda smirked ironically.

"Who else?" He raised his hand and touched his still bleeding nose. "I'm gonna have a helluva shiner tomorrow," he said, and Pony saw it was true. A bruise on Soda's left eye had started to form. "He has gone crazy," Soda said with a chuckle. He shook his head. "Goddamn crazy." He took a deep drag on the cigarette.

Pony sank down to his bed, and his despair shined through his eyes.

"What are we gonna do, Soda?" he whispered.

Soda saw the look on his face and hasted to him. He sat down next to him on the bed, and his face softened.

"Pony, don't cry... please. It's not that bad..." He stroked back Pony's hair.

"It is!" Ponyboy shouted. "It is that bad!" He stopped crying and tried to calm down. It wasn't easy, but he managed. "Was he drunk?"

"Yeah..."

"I miss mom."

"Yeah, me too." The two brothers went silent. Pony couldn't believe what had happened, but one look on Soda's face told him it was true. He felt almost sick. It was their dad... their _dad_ who had done it. He hated him. He'd never thought before he would ever hate his parents, they had been the best parents anyone could have, everybody thought so. They had been so nice to their friends, taken care of them, talked to them, given them a place to stay when they needed one... and now his mom was dead and he hated her for it, and he hated his dad for what he had become. But he couldn't hate them. He loved them. He still loved his dad even if he hated him. Pony felt confused, but then he remembered Johnny. He loved his parents too, in some way, he had explained one day, some years ago. He had been beaten up again and him and Pony sat at the lot and talked. Pony had asked him why he stayed with them, when his mom just yelled at him and his dad hit him. And Johnny had told about his mixed feelings. How he hated them but loved them in the same time, how he hoped they would change one day, even if he knew that they wouldn't, or if they would, their past would never change anyway. Pony hadn't really understood then. But he did now. His real dad were there somewhere inside the Mr. Curtis who was there now. He had to be. And he would change back to who he was. He had to believe it.

"Johnny knows," he suddenly said to Soda.

"Steve too," Soda said quietly. "He figured it out."

"What are we gonna do?" Pony said again. Soda looked at him.

"Nothin'. You know the rules in this neighbourhood, Pony. It's not like you ain't seen shit like this before."

"But never from dad," Pony said quietly. Soda had no answer to that. Instead he stood up again, restless.

"I'll get some ice."

XXX

Soda watched himself in the bathroom mirror, thinking about that he was glad it was him and not Ponyboy. He wasn't sure what had happened yesterday in the kitchen. They had yelled at each other and then his dad just snapped. Mr. Curtis had stared at him afterwards, and then left. When he woke up this morning Soda had peeked into his dad's bedroom, discovered he hadn't slept in the bed and wasn't back yet. He couldn't decide if he thought it was good or not.

He touched his eye gently, and winced a little. But he had got worse other times, in fights and rumbles, and this wasn't that bad. He just wished it had been a soc who did it, and not his own dad. It had been easier to deal with. Crazy, he had told Ponyboy, and sometimes he thought it was true. How else could they explain this? The first time, the slap, he had called an accident, and he still thought it was. His dad had been really drunk that time, and didn't knew what he did. But then he had gripped Pony's arm, not that hard, but he had been almost sober that time. And now this. Sure, he had been angry and drunk, but still... it was like his dad had crossed a border. He could only hope it wasn't getting worse, so their family ended up like Johnnys.

"Where is everyone?" someone shouted. Two-Bit. Soda guessed Steve was with him too.

"In here," he heard Ponyboy answer from the kitchen. Soda grabbed his toothbrush and turned on the faucet. He hoped Ponyboy would tell them, and apparently he did, cause when he was finished brushing his teeth the door opened up. Steve looked at him.

"You okay?"

Soda put his toothbrush away again.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" He turned around and met Steve's gaze. His friend made a grimace.

"No reason."

Steve followed him into his bedroom, and Soda opened up his closet, looking for a clean pair of jeans. He found them and put them on. Steve sat on his bed and waved at him with an unlighted cigarette.

"So what happened this time?"

Soda just looked at him.

"Where is he? Your dad. He ain't home."

"Steve, I have no idea, and I don't care."

"The kid seems pretty upset."

"That's because he is." Soda found his DX-shirt and dragged it over his head. Then he looked around in the room, but Steve reached in under the bed and found the shoes. "Catch!" He threw them one by one to Soda, who took them and put them on.

"Let's go," he said.

XXX

A week later the school was over. It had been an odd mood in the house since Soda's and Mr. Curtis fight. Their dad had apologized, and Soda accepted it, but it didn't helped much. The memories was still there, in their thoughts and on Soda's face. Their dad didn't even tried to lie to them about his work anymore, he was locked inside his bedroom on the days, and out somewhere in the evenings. Sometimes he didn't showed up until next morning, stumbling through the front door while his sons sat and ate breakfast. But the bills was paid and Soda bought food with his payments from the DX, so they didn't even bothered to ask. Mr. Curtis had called Darry one day, and Soda and Pony sat in the couch, eavesdropping, but everything had went fine. To their surprise their dad even talked about their mom with Darry, without any angry words or shouting, which always happened when they mentioned her. That made Pony think things would be better again, but he was wrong. This time it was his grades that started everything.

He already knew they weren't that good, but they weren't that bad either. He had hoped for A's but was sure he would get C's in all classes, but somehow he had managed to get one A, in english, and only one C in math. The rest was B's, and he felt releived. Considering the circumstances he had done good. But his dad didn't agreed. That was also a new side of him. Sure, he had always cared about his sons grades, he had been proud of them when they got A's and told them to just do their best when they were struggling. He even told Soda that if he had done his best he should be pleased with himself even if the grades was lousy. He knew his middle son never could compete with Darry and Pony, and he didn't wanted him to think he had to. But that was before. Now he stood with the report card in his hand, screaming at Ponyboy.

"I thought you where smart," he said when he was done. "Guess I was wrong." He crumpled the paper to a ball and tossed it in the trash can before he left the kitchen. Pony just stared after him. He couldn't understand it. Their dad acted like he didn't cared about them, and then he did something like this. Like he cared but in the wrong way. Pony sighed and took up his report card again, tried to smooth it out on the kitchen table.

"What are you doin'?"

Pony turned around.

"I just..." he turned his head and looked at the crumpled paper. His dad stepped forward and gave him a light smack on the side of his head when he walked by. Pony took a step backwards and rubbed the spot on his head. It hadn't hurt, but he couldn't understood why he'd done it. He scowled when his dad gripped the report card again.

"I thought I threw this," Mr. Curtis said.

"Dad..."

"Don't start on me, Ponyboy. I'm not in the mood for this." He shoved the paper in his pocket, walked to the fridge and took out a beer.

"I wasn't gonna... I mean, I'm sorry dad. I really tried."

"Tried what?"

"In school."

"Not good enough." He opened the beer and swept it.

XXX

"Can you help me?" Pony asked Two-Bit later that day. The two of them and Johnny was out, walking around since Two-Bit's car had broken down. He had just left it at the DX in hope Steve could fix it.

"Sure, if Steve can fix my brakes."

"Don't doubt it."

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Johnny asked and looked at his friend. He didn't mean the car. Pony shrugged.

"I have to do something."

"Why?"

"I don't know. But it's like... something else is goin' on."

"What do you mean?" They had come to a park and sat down on the grass. Pony watched some kids who ran around, playing with a football. They reminded him of when they were kids, and Darry tried to taught the gang the right rules of the game. But no one really cared and continued to play like they wanted to, all ran around, no one who counted the points, and sometimes someone changed team right in the middle of the game. Darry had been frustrated first, but then gave up and just had fun, like the rest of them. He thought of Darry, wondering how he had it. It was six years between them, so they had never been so close, but they where brothers, and sometimes he missed him. He had a feeling Darry would handle things better than Soda did. Even if Pony loved Soda, he wasn't good at serious stuff. Sometimes Pony wondered if their dad had started to drink if Darry had been home. Darry had never let things go so far, he had known what to say. What to do. But now it was too late. He didn't wanted Darry to know about their dad, he felt so ashamed. Like he had failed to take care of him. Maybe it was his and Soda's fault. Or maybe just his. That was he who wanted to go to the cemetary and who was scared of the men and had lousy grades. Soda worked and earned money, Ponyboy was the one who was at home most of the time. Especially now when he had summer break. He sighed.

"Dad's acting strange. First it was because of mom, ya know. But I ain't sure it's only about him missing her anymore."

He had thought about it. He knew Soda had it too, but they rarely talked about where their dad's money came from. But he seemed stressed somehow, and the two men appeared to have something to do about it. They hadn't showed up in the house again, but Pony was sure his dad still seen them. He just knew something was wrong. And he had to find out why.

"But what if it's dangerous?" Johnny sounded worried, but Pony frowned.

"I ain't scared." It wasn't actually the truth, but he was a greaser, and acted like one. "Besides, I'll haveTwo-Bit with me. And we're not goin' to do anything stupid."

Two-Bit moaned.

"That doesn't sounds fun, Ponyboy."

"It's not supposed to be fun."

After a while they went to walking again, and this time they headed for the DX.

"How's it goin', Stevie?" Two-Bit asked a pair of legs that stuck out from the underside of a car in the workshop. They heard a loud bang.

"_Shit! Damn!_" Steve rolled out and glared at him. He touched his forhead where he had slammed it in the car when Two-Bit shouted.

"Good, until you showed up," he groaned.

"Oh, I don't meant with _this_ car. I mean with _my _car."

Steve smirked.

"Sorry, buddy, it has to wait."

"Why?"

"I take the customers that actually pays first, Two-Bit. Maybe if you had some cash..."

Two-Bit stroked his sideburns.

"Well, mama wasn't so happy when I asked her..."

Steve just shook his head.

* * *

><p>Thanks to all who reviews and all who just read! Please press the review button and tell me what you think!<p> 


	11. Missing kid

**Chapter Eleven -_ Missing kid_**

"What's wrong, Pony?" Soda stood leaning against the wall, watching his silent kid brother.

"Nothin'." Pony sat curled up on the couch, staring at the TV. Soda walked to it and turned it off, and Pony finally raised his gaze and looked at him. He looked miserable. Soda folded his arms over his chest and gave him a concerned gaze.

"You've been sittin' there since I got home two hours ago. You haven't even eaten you food." He pointed at it. On the coffe table stood Pony's plate with chicken and vegetables left. Pony had picked at it, but only eaten a few bites.

"Sorry," Pony mumbled. He picked up his fork and took a bite, but he chewed slowly and looked like he wanted to spit it out.

"Did something happened today?" Soda asked. Pony just shrugged at Soda's question. "Well, did it?" his brother urged.

Pony finally swallowed and deliberated with himself. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell Soda. He didn't wanted another fight between him and their dad. But Mr. Curtis wasn't at home, and maybe it wouldn't sound so bad. Besides, he didn't need to tell it all. He took a sip from his milk glass.

"I got my report card today," he said and put the glass down again. "It wasn't so good." Soda waited patiently.

"I got one A and one C and the rest was B's," Pony explained.

Soda raised his eyebrows.

"That's good grades," he said and walked forward to plop down next to Pony. "Don't think about it, Pony. I'm sure you'll get all A's next semester."

"It's not that," Pony said and stared down at his knees. "I don't care about the grades." Soda stiffened and gave Pony a quick look over. He couldn't see any bruises, but he got a bad feeling in his gut.

"What did dad do?" he asked with a harsh voice. "Tell me, Pony!" he continued when Pony hesitated.

"Nothin'! He didn't do anything..." Pony bit his lip. "He just got a little mad, is all."

"He hit you?"

"No! No, he didn't hit me. He was just mad, as I told you."

"Mad how?"

Pony shrugged.

"Pony!"

"He crumpled the paper. Said I didn't tried good enough."

"I can't believe this!" Soda exclaimed and got up to his feet again. He paced back and forth in the living room, clenching his fists.

"Soda, please don't argue with him," Pony pleaded. "I don't want it to be like the last time." Soda shook his head.

"He has never got mad about our grades before," he said. "I don't understand him."

"Don't fight with him, okay?" Pony asked. "Promise, Soda." Soda stopped pacing and looked at his kid brother. He had a feeling Pony didn't told him everything that had happened, but he wouldn't nag about it. Things was already bad as they where. Damn, Pony was just a kid for christ sake. Even if his fourteenth birtday was getting closer he was still just a thirteen year old who shouldn't be sad because his dad yelled at him about grades. Grades that wasn't bad at all. Sometimes Soda felt like go to his dad and just punch him down. He was almost scared for himself when he thought about it. But Pony didn't wanted anymore fights, so he shouldn't start any.

"All right, I promise," he said, even if he didn't wanted to.

XXX

It took Steve and Soda three more days to fix Two-Bit's car, even if Steve also worked full time during the summer break. Somehow it seemed like all cars in the whole town needed to be fixed these days, and their boss wouldn't like it if they worked on a car which's owner didn't paid a dime.

"You owe us, Two-Bit," Steve said and dried the oil from his hands. "We've worked on you stupid car on our free time." He glared at the rusty, red car beside him and gave the wheel a light kick before he picked up the key from his pocket and handed it to Two-Bit.

"Isn't that what friends are for?" Two-Bit said and patted Steve on his shoulder. Steve smirked.

"Next time maybe I won't be able to fix it," he said. "You need a new one. That one," he nodded at it, "should be at the junkyard."

"Can't afford a new one." Two-Bit opened the door and sat down behind the wheel. He had had his car for years. It was an old jalopy who had seen its best days a long time ago. Often it was the brakes that crashed down, and it was a miracle nothing bad had happend yet. But Two-Bit loved his car, and Steve doubted he had got a new one even if he had the money for it. He would probably drive this one until it literally fell apart. According to Steve, it would happen any day now.

"Why don't ya get a job?" Soda teased and leaned through the wide open window. Two-Bit just rolled his eyes at him.

"Me? Workin'? Aw, Soda, don't insult me, please." He grinned at them, and the two friends stepped back when he turned the key. "See ya!"

When their friend had driven away Soda and Steve walked back into the workshop. Soda jumped up on a bench while Steve opened up the hood of the car he was working on. Steve glared at him.

"What are you doin'"?

"Takin' a break."

Steve looked at the clock. It wasn't time for a break yet, but then he shrugged and continued to work. After a while he looked up again. Soda had been quiet a long time, and that wasn't usual.

"What's up, Soda?" Soda didn't answered first, but then he came with his own question.

"How come you'll never crash in our house anymore, Steve?" Soda dragged up one leg, sat the heel on the bench and leaned his chin to the knee. Over the years Steve used to come over and sleep on the couch at least twice a week, when his dad threw him out, or if he just didn't felt like being home. But Soda had noticed it had been more rarely when his mom died, and now it had been a month since any of their friends had been found on the couch in the morning. He missed it. It wasn't the same anymore, when the couch always was empty when he got up.

"Your ol' man's stop kickin' you out or what?" Soda said lightly. Steve picked up his cigarette pack and showed it to Soda, then nodded his head at the door. Soda jumped down from the bench, and the two friends left the workshop and walked around to the back of the building. Steve lit two cigarettes and handed one to Soda who took it, but he didn't put it in his mouth. He just held it.

"No, he's still an ass," Steve said. Soda nodded.

"Didn't thought otherwise." He looked down at the cigarette in his hand. "So where are you crashin'?"

"At Two-Bit's. Sometimes Dally let me sleep in his room at Buck's. He has some new girl he use to see."

"Yeah?"

"Yup. Her name's Sylvia or somethin' like that."

"You know, you could've come to our place," Soda said. "The door is still open."

Steve made a sound like he snorted. "Sorry, man..." he said and looked away for a while. "It's just... with you dad and all..."

"It's okay," Soda said quickly. He did understand. Why would Steve go from one awful home to another? It just hurt to have it verified, that their house wasn't like it used to be, not only for him and Pony, but for all of them. He felt bad for Steve, who was the one that often slept at their couch. Sometimes it was Johnny, but he was so shy that he preferred to sleep out at the lot when the weather allowed. Dally had stopped coming in the nights when he started to rent a room at Buck's place.

XXX

Johnny and Dally sat on the porch when Two-Bit parked his car outside the Curtises home.

"Where's Ponyboy?" he asked when he got to them. Dally pointed at the house with his thumb. He stared with his iceblue eyes at Two-Bit, with an unreadable look in them.

"Johnny told me what you two are up to," he revealed. "You think that's a good idea?" Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow at Johnny, who blushed and looked away.

"Well, Pony think it is," Two-Bit said. "I'll just help him out." Dally swore.

"Pony ain't famous to use his head, ya know," he told Two-Bit. "But it's your worry if somethin' happens."

"Nothin' will happen, we ain't do anythin' stupid," Two-Bit repeated Pony's words from some days ago.

"Right," Dally said and laughed. In the same time the door opened up and Pony stepped out.

"Hey, Two-Bit," he said. He ignored Johnny when he said his name. He knew what Johnny thought about this, but he didn't cared. "Come on," he told his oldest friend, and they walked to his car. Two-Bit turned around and looked at the house.

"Where's your ol' man?"

"Inside. But I'll figure he'll be goin' soon. Be ready!" They both jumped into Two-Bit's car and he started it and drove away a bit. Then he parked on the curb and looked at Pony, who stared backwards at his house.

"You sure about this, Pone? Don't you think your dad'll recognize my car?"

"Just drove a bit behind and he won't notice," Pony said. "I just want to see where he's goin'."

"And Soda doesn't know?" Two-Bit asked and earned a irritated glare from Ponyboy.

"Of course not, Two-Bit."

They waited in silence. Johnny and Dally walked away from the porch and down the street in the opposit direction from where Pony and Two-Bit was. Pony drummed with his fingers on his knee, nervous and impatient at the same time. He know this was stupid, but he had to do it. He knew what he, and Johnny, was afraid of, that his dad used to met his friends. But he also knew what he hoped for. He hoped they would find out that his dad had got another job, and it was there he went when he left the house on the evenings. There was a lots of works you could do in the nights. Maybe he was a bouncer. That would fit. His dad was big and musculare, and now when he liked to drink he probably would love to work in a bar. Or maybe he was a security guard somewhere. That was better, even if that could be dangerous. He could work on a restaurant, doing the dishes or something. He snapped out of his thoughts when the front door was opened and his dad went out and get into his truck.

"Follow him a bit back," Pony said to Two-Bit, who started the car and waited for a while. Mr. Curtis drove past them, and they both ducked. He didn't seem to notice them. Slowly Two-Bit followed him. When they got out to the bigger streets he let two cars drive between them, while he had his eyes on Mr. Curtis truck. Pony sat quiet all the way. Soon his dad turned in to a smaller street, still on the East side, but many blocks away from their home. Now they hadn't any cars between them anymore, and Two-Bit slowed down a bit so he wouldn't get up too close. Finally Mr. Curtis parked his truck on the curb outside a large, grey, house, which looked abandoned. Two-Bit looked around, but there was no place for him to park. When they drove past the truck, Pony saw his dad go inside the buildning.

"Stop the car," he said to Two-Bit.

"There's no parking spot here, Pony..." he started, but Pony opened his door in the speed. "Hey, stop that!" Two-Bit shouted and pushed the brakes, so no accident should happen, but Ponyboy ignored him.

"I'll be right back. I'll just check..." He jumped out and closed the door. Two-Bit cursed at him, but had no other option than continue and look for a parking spot. He had got a car behind him and couldn't stop in the middle of the street.

Pony ran to the house, but when he tried to open the door it was locked. He thought about knock on it, but that was probably not a good idea. He turned his head to look where Two-Bit went, but he couldn't see him. Then he heard a sound and turned to the door again. Someone had opened it, and before he realized what happened, a hand shot out, grabbed him by his collar and dragged him inside. The door closed behind him.

XXX

"Finally!" Two-Bit exclaimed when he found a place to park. He sighed when he turned off the engine and walked out to the street. Damn that boy! Don't do anythin' stupid he had said. Trying to jump out of a running car wasn't really brainiac. Dally was right, that kid never used his head. Two-Bit still cursed when he got to the house and there where no sign of Ponyboy. He tried to open the door, but of course it was locked. No one opened it when he knocked at it either. It was impossible to look through the windows, some kind of drapes covered them from the inside, and when he walked around the building he only found one back door which was, of course, locked too. He went to the front side again. Mr. Curtis truck stood there, and he walked to it and looked through the windscreen. He saw nothing unusual. So instead he started to walk on the street, back and forth, looking in the alleys. This part of the East side looked very rough. The houses around looked like they would fall apart on a windy day, and many of them had one or two broken windows. Cigarette butts and pop bottles and other trash lay everywhere. Even if their own part of Tulsa wasn't that great, it was better than this.

"Ponyboy?" he shouted. "Hey, you?" Two-Bit jogged across the street when he saw a man walking there. "Have you seen a kid around here?" The man shrugged and pointed down the street.

"There's a playground about half a mile down there..."

Two-Bit shook his head.

"Nah, this kid is thirteen years ol', I don't think he likes playgrounds, but I may be wrong, you'll never know..."

The man gave him a funny look, and Two-Bit let his voice trail off. He scratched his head and walked back to the other side of the street again and sat down on the curb. He tapped his pocket and realized he had smoked his last cigarette before he and Pony left, and he had forgot to steal some new ones. And he saw no shop nearby. Damn. He was so needed a cancer stick right now. Or a beer. He couldn't believe he had lost the kid in only a few minutes. But he had to be in the house, he would never walk away, right? So he could just wait, hoping Pony would show up soon. Because driving back to Soda without him wasn't an option.

* * *

><p>Aw, come on now and give me a lots of reviews! Pleeease? (You don't even have to sign in.) I gave you a small cliffhanger, didn't I? And besides, I'll not be home and able to writepost in like 4 days in the beginning of next week. Do you want chapter 12 before that? It's a bribe... :)

Well, thousands of thanks to you who review and/or read this story!


	12. Scout's honor

**Chapter Twelve - **_**Scout's honor**_

"Two-Bit?"

The greaser with the sideburns jerked when he heard the voice behind him and quickly turned around, with a grin of relief in his face. He got up on his feets and walked to the smaller boy.

"Ponyboy, where the hell where you? I've been lookin' all over..." he shouted, then went quiet for a moment and took a closer look at his friend. "You all right?" Ponyboy looked a bit pale, and was about to lit a cigarette.

"Yeah, I'm fine... come on, let's go home." He took a grip at Two-Bit's arm and dragged him along, while he anxiously glanced at the house.

"I thought I'd lost you kid... you damned scared me!" Two-Bit complained. He showed the way to the car, and when they got in he turned to Pony.

"Where were you? What happened?" Pony was still a bit pale and distant. He smoked fiercely at his cigarette.

"Nothin'."

Two-Bit put his hand on the steering wheel and gave him an thoughful glance.

"You talked to your dad?"

"No." Pony frowned at him. "Come on, start the car so we can go home." He sounded eager.

"Not until you've told me where you were."

Pony opened the window and threw out the cigarette butt.

"I was in the house, okay, but it wasn't anything there. I think dad's job will work with the house or something, like repair it, it's not very important anyway."

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow and turned the key. Pony was a good liar, but not this time.

"Aw, come on, Pone. I know you're lyin'."

"I'm not... I can't tell you, all right? Drive now, Two-Bit!

"You know I can keep a secret."

Pony sighed. He wasn't so sure that was true, but he had to at least tell him not to tell anybody else.

"Then just shut up, Two-Bit. Don't tell Soda or anyone, okay? Promise me."

"Why not?" The look on Pony's face told him. "All right."

"Say you promise."

Two-Bit lay one hand on his heart.

"On my scout's honor!"

Pony couldn't help but grin at him.

"You ain't a scout, Two-Bit!" he protested.

"I'm not?"

"No." Then Pony got serious again. "Just don't tell anyone, okay. Forget about this. All of it."

Two-Bit looked worried. Something in Pony's voice told him this was important.

"Tell me what happened, Ponyboy! I don't like this..." But Ponyboy just shook his head and refused to say anything more. Two-Bit sighed and drove off, leaving that nasty part of town to another, but less, nasty. When they were close to Curtises house he glanced at Pony.

"You know, I was at scout's meeting twice when I was a kid."

"You?" Pony sounded like he doubted it.

"Yup. My mom thought it would be nice. But then there was some girl, I think her name was Sheila or Shelly... well, she went to pee in the forest and I was just curious, so I tried to look, but she caught me. And then I never went there again."

"I thought boys and girls wasn't in the same scout groups," Pony said, and Two-Bit frowned.

"Maybe it wasn't the scouts then," he said. "It could've been a school trip."

Pony laughed and just shook his head..

XXX

Someone screamed. Soda flew up from his bed. It was dark and first he didn't knew where he was or where the noise come from. Then he realized it was his kid brother. He turned on his lamp and ran to Ponyboy's bedroom. He found him tossing in the bed, all sweaty and moaning. Soda put his hands on Pony's shoulders and shook him lightly.

"Pone... hey, Pone, wake up!"

Suddenly the younger boy opened his eyes and sat straight up in the bed. He gasped like he had run several miles.

"S...soda? What happened?"

"Yeah, that's me... calm down, Pony. I think you had a nightmare."

Pony took some shaky breaths.

"Yeah... yeah, I had one," he said. He made a grimace. "Sorry for waking you."

"It's okay. What did you dream about?" Pony still gasped, but then swallowed a couple of times and tried to calm down. Then he finally shrugged, but he avoided Soda's gaze when he answered. "Nothin'."

"Nothin'?"

"I can't remember, all right?" Pony said a bit irritated. He lay down again and dragged the sheet over him. "I'm fine, Soda, you can go back to sleep."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Pony yawned. "G'night."

"Night, Pone." Soda walked out from the room, but hesitated at the door for a while. He was sure Pony had lied to him when he said he didn't remembered. He hoped he hadn't dreamed about their dad.

Pony dreamed one more time that night, but luckily he didn't screamed next time. He just woke up and catched his breath with a gasp.

"Damn!" he whispered and wiped the sweat off from his forehead with his arm. He lay on his back in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He felt his heart throb faster than usual, and he lay one hand on his chest, feeling the pulse against his palm. It was dark outside, so it was still night, but he didn't wanted to go back to sleep. Instead he raised up and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He sneaked out in the hallway. The house always looked different when it was dark, like it was someone elses home and not his. All colors were gone, and everything was black or gray. He reached the porch without waking anybody up, but he guessed only Soda was home anyway. It was a warm night, and when he lit his cigarette he start thinking about last summer and his mom. She loved the summer nights. He remembered how she used to wake him up early in the mornings, and the two of them snuck out to watch the sunrise. Sometimes, when it was cold, they shared a blanket, or she had made some warm chocolate for him and coffee for herself. They were the only ones in the family who enjoyed watching the sun go up. One time his dad had been with them, he had woken up for some reason, and Pony still remembered the looks in his parents eyes when they stood together on the porch, arms around each others waists.

"They loved each other so much," Pony whispered, and he felt bad for his dad. _He's just sad_ Soda used to say, but suddenly Pony realized he was so much more than just sad. It was worse than that. Somehow a piece of his father had died in the car crash that evening, when his mom died. She would never come back, and he felt a knot in his stomach when he thought about it, because that maybe meant that the piece of his dad would never come back either. He would never be the dad he used to be again. There were no turning back. His dad had choosen a different path, away from his family. Maybe he didn't wanted a family without his wife. It was like he hadn't something to live for anymore. _But he still has me and Soda and Darry_, Pony thought. _Maybe that's not enough_.

Then he thought about yesterday. He hoped Two-Bit could keep his mouth shut and not tell Soda what they had done and where they had been. It was bad that both Johnny and Dally knew about it, that they had followed his dad. But no one knew what had happened, and he would never tell anyone. He shuddered when he remembered the voice. It had been in his nightmare, he dreamed about it twice. He still remembered the breath, the face close to his, the finger pointed at his temple like a gun, the words... He wondered if his dad knew. He hadn't seen him, just the blonde, the one who dragged him inside and pushed him to the wall and threatened him. Right then he had thought he would kill him. He was sure the man could snap his neck with his bare hands, just like he had told him he would do if he ever showed up there again, if he ever told anyone about that place... and then he just let him go. Pony had blinked of surprise, but raced through the door before the blonde one changed his mind. The man had laughed behind his back when he opened the door. And there was Two-Bit on the curb, just some feet away. He hoped the blonde one didn't see him.

"He knows where I live..." Suddenly he sank down, like his legs couldn't bear him anymore. Why had he been so stupid? And why did his dad met a man like him?

XXX

Johnny came over in the morning. He opened the front door some inches and peeked in before he stepped inside. It felt strange to come to Pony's house nowadays. It used to be a happy, living home, so different from his own. But now he didn't liked it at all. He avoided Mr. Curtis as much as he could, terrified to see him turn into a person who reminded him of his own dad. It hurt. The first bruise on Soda's cheek was strange, but when he came with that shiner Johnny felt almost sick. Now he was almost afraid of meeting Pony, scared that his dad would have beaten him too. It was always easier to take a punch himself, than see that his friend got one. Pony was a little kid, he shouldn't be punched on. But fortunately it had only been Soda this far. Not that he liked that either, but Soda could take it.

The living room was empty. Johnny sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, but he turned down the volume to almost nothing so no one would wake up because of him. He glanced at the clock on the wall, it wasn't so early, both Soda and Pony used to be up this time. Maybe Soda was at work. If Johnny had been Two-Bit he had raced to the bedrooms, dragging the sheets of the boys and told them to rise and shine. He chuckled when he thought of his friend.

"What are you laughing at?" A new awake Ponyboy stood in the hallway, in pajama pants and a t-shirt and messy hair. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. "You got up early today?"

"It's almost ten," Johnny said, and Pony's eyes widened.

"Ten? I thought it was like eight or somethin'."

"Nah, it's ten. Soda's at work?"

Pony shrugged.

"I guess." He looked down the hallway to Soda's bedroom door. "Strange he didn't wake me up before he left."

"Maybe he wanted you to sleep in."

Pony walked out to the kitchen, and on the table was a note from his brother.

"You were right, Johnny," he shouted out to the living room when he had read it. "You want some breakfast?"

"Sure." He hadn't eaten anything yet, as usual the fridge and cabinets in his house was empty. His folks often forgot to buy food. He went out to Ponyboy who picked some eggs from the fridge and cracked them into a pan.

"So what happened yesterday?"

Pony stiffened.

"What do you mean?" he asked, worried. Johnny gave him a strange look.

"I mean when you and Two-Bit play detectives."

"We didn't play detectives."

"According to Two-Bit you did." Johnny started to laugh, but stopped when he saw the look in Pony's face. "What?"

"What did Two-Bit tell you?"

Johnny shrugged. "Nothin' I guess."

"You guess?" Pony seemed a bit upset. "He promised not to tell."

"Tell what? He didn't told me anything, Pone."

Ponyboy turned to the stove and took a spatula and picked at the eggs with it.

"Did'ya meet him last night? After we came back from... from pursuing dad?"

"Yeah, me and Dally was at Buck's, and he came by."

"And he didn't say anything? Where we were or... anything?"

Johnny shook his head.

"No, he didn't say anything. He just told us you didn't find out what your dad is up to and that he'd dropped you off at your house."

Pony nodded.

"Okay." He relaxed a bit. "How do you want your eggs?"

XXX

Pony came back home in the afternoon, after he and Johnny had practiced some football at the vacant lot. Not that it helped so much, they could never be as good as Darry. Pony could run fast, but that was all. Johnny could catch the ball real good, but he couldn't threw it so far or spot in the right direction. But they had fun anyway.

Soda had still some hours to do at the DX, but his dad was home. Pony stood uncomfortable in the doorway to the kitchen. His dad sat at the table with a cup of coffee and a sandwich in front of him. He raised his head and stared at Pony, and his eyes were red and tired.

"Pony," he said quietly.

"Hi dad." Pony slowly walked into the kitchen and took the chair on the opposit side, in front of his father. Suddenly Pony realized that he hadn't talked, really talked, to his dad in a long time. He stared at him, trying to figure out if he was drunk or not, but he couldn't tell. His dad looked different. Older.

"Where's Soda?" his dad asked, and he slurred a bit, revealing that he had been drinking that day too. Pony sighed.

"At work." He looked at the clock. "He'll be home in a few hours, unless he won't go out with Steve and their girls. It's friday," he added. "They use to... ya know, go out."

Mr. Curtis nodded and curled his fingers around the cup.

"You know I didn't meant to hurt 'im that day."

Pony didn't know what to say. He didn't wanted to think about it, no less talk about it.

"I know," he said, even if he didn't knew. He couldn't be sure of anything their dad did or said. He didn't trusted him anymore.

"But he had to stop bein' nosy, ya know," Mr. Curtis said, and then tried to fix his gaze at Pony. "That goes for you too." His face changed and suddenly he looked furious. Pony paled.

"Yeah, I know where you went yesterday," his dad continued. "Ed told me."

"Ed?"

"The one who tried to talk some senses into you."

"Oh." Pony shuddered at the memory. Ed. That was his name. He wondered if he really could kill him, or if he just tried to scare him. And he wondered if his dad had heard what he had said.

"So how'd you found the place?"

Pony didn't knew what to say. He mumbled something.

"What?"

"I can't remember," Pony said, a little louder. His dad took his cup and throw it in the wall, porcelain splitter and coffe splash spread everywhere. Pony jumped and his heart began to throb faster. His dad got up to his feet.

"Tell me, Ponyboy! Someone drove you? You followed me? Huh?"

Pony just shook his head, wide-eyed, and his dad reached over the table and gave him a smack at his temple, and he was so surprised of the action that he fell from the chair to the floor.

"Don't you ever do somethin' that stupid again, Ponyboy! And who was with you?" his dad hollered. But it wasn't only anger in his voice.

"I don't... please, dad!" Pony shouted. "It was just a friend... no one you know, I promise!" He couldn't reveal Two-Bit. His dad walked to him and sat on his heels beside him. He lay a hand on his shoulder. Pony looked up at him with tears in his eyes.

"He said he would kill me," he said, quietly between the sobs. "Ed. Your friend."

His dad suddenly looked real worried.

"Damn," he cursed. "I could've guessed. But he ain't my friend... I'm sorry Ponyboy, but just... just stay away, okay? Stay away from that place and those guys."

Pony wiped his tears. "I will."

His dad left the kitchen, but Pony lay remained on the floor, trying to get his head to work again. What the hell had happened? Everything was confusing, his dads behavior, he had slapped him! Like he did to Soda. And then his dad suddenly was worried about him. It was almost like his dad was scared too. The screen door slammed, and he was alone in the house.

It felt like hours, but when he looked at the clock it had only gone half an hour since his dad left. Pony finally got up to his feets. He picked up all the pieces of the cup, and then he cleaned the coffee off the walls and floor. When he was finished he went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes where red from crying but he hadn't got a bruise. If there were any, it was hidden by his hair. He felt relieved. Soda wouldn't know.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reviews! Next chapter will be posted on friday I hope. Sorry about that, but I won't be home so I can't update any sooner... but please, continue to review, I really appreciate it!<p>

And I hope everyone stays In Character. Well, all except Mr. Curtis, but that's the point of this story anyway.


	13. Angry words

**Chapter Thirteen - **_**Angry words**_

Soda and Steve took out Sandy and Evie to the Nightly Double. Since it was his car, Steve and his girl sat in the front, while Soda and Sandy had the backseat for themselves. Sandy giggled when he leaned forward and gave her his famous Soda-smile.

"Soda, the movie has begun," she told him when he lay his arm around her waist.

"Well, I ain't here to see a movie," he answered and looked her in her eyes. "Are you?" She stopped teasing him by trying to push him away and opened her mouth, to shut him up and kiss him. They had been a couple for six months now and she knew that many girls was jealous at her. But even if she liked Soda, she had a feeling he loved her more than she loved him. He was a nice boy, and really good-looking, but often she felt like something was missing between them. She couldn't tell what, though, and she liked making out, so she let him kiss her and take her out on dates. Besides, it was fun to go out on double dates with Evie, and Steve would only go out on things like this with Soda.

Sandy's soft lips made Soda almost forgot all problems at home. He nearly even forgot they where on a public place, with his best friend and his gal in the car too, but a sudden knock on the car's window made him jump away from the blonde girl.

"Geez, Two-Bit!" he shouted when he turned around and recognized the face outside. Steve was also taken by surprise. He crawled out of Evie's embrace and opened up the door, cursing at their friend.

"I wasn't interrupting somethin' important, right?" Two-Bit ignored Steve, grinned at them and peeked inside the car. Steve growled something for an answer, but Soda tried to look behind Two-Bit.

"Pony with you?"

Two-Bit denied. "He was with Johnny earlier, but I think he's home now."

Soda didn't liked the thought of Pony being alone with their dad. It was bad enough when he was at work. He had hoped his brother would be with someone in the gang right now.

"I thought you two had some plans for tonight," he said, but Two-Bit shook his head.

"Nope, no plans..." he glanced backwards, at some girl waiting for him, and then turned to Soda again,"...before. But I have, now, but they're not involving the kid." He smiled, but suddenly looked a bit uneasy.

Soda looked at Sandy, then Steve.

"Maybe I should go home."

Steve scowled.

"Come on, Soda, we just got here! The kid can take care of himself a few hours." He sounded irritated. "He'll soon turn fourteen, he ain't a baby."

"Yeah, it's not a big deal with your dad," Sandy added. She knew about his issues, but since she had an alcoholic dad herself she didn't really saw the problem. But Soda knew that her dad was more the kind of a guy who became pleasant when he was drunk, not like his own who got aggressive problems. But then they drank for different reasons. Mr. Curtis tried to drown his sorrows, while Mr. Mason did it because he enjoyed the taste. At least according to Sandy. Soda had met him, and he was harmless, but he couldn't say that about his own dad anymore. He was worried about Pony.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Can you drive me home, Steve?"

His friend cussed and Sandy leaned back in the seat, crossed her arms and sighed. Evie chewed hard on her gum, turning to her boyfriend.

"I don't wanna miss the movie, Steve!" she whined. Soda smirked, sure that she hadn't watched it one second.

"It's okay," he reassured. "I can walk home." Steve just held up his hands, like he gave up, and Soda turned to Sandy.

"Sorry, baby... maybe we can do somethin' tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she said, indifferently. "Maybe." He gave her one last kiss, and she didn't seem to have anything against it, but he felt bad for leaving her. But in the end, when he had to chose, he always would pick his kid brother. And everybody just had to live with it. He left the car and Two-Bit slung his arm over his shoulder, shouting to his date for the night that he would be back in a few seconds, and then walked with Soda to the gate.

"You want me to drive you?" he asked while they crossed between the parked cars at the drive in. He was a bit worried about the kid himself, but he had a good reason for it, he thought. What had happened yesterday still bugged him.

"No, I'll walk, or bum a ride if I can catch one," Soda answered. "What is it?"

"What's what?" Two-Bit asked, innocently.

"You look like you wanna tell me somethin'." He felt nervous. Two-Bit looked so serious that it almost scared him.

"I promised on my scout's honor," Two-Bit said and lit up a cigarette. "But then the kid told me I'm not a scout, so..."

"What are you talking about?" Soda asked impatiently and leaned to the fence that enclosed the area. Two-Bit made a grimace, he didn't like to break a promise, but in this case he found it necessary. If that could help the kid stay out of trouble...

"Well, me and Pony tailed your dad yesterday, and then the kid went missin' for like fifteen minutes."

Soda looked confused.

"What do you mean, went missin'?"

"Like I said. He jumped out of my car almost in the speed, and then I had to park somewhere and when I got back where I'd left him he was just gone. I looked for him but I couldn't find him. And after a while he showed up, all pale and shaky and told me not to tell anyone, though I'm not really sure what I shouldn't tell. I mean, accordin' to Pony nothin' happened." Two-Bit flung out his arms. "Now ya know, and I feel shitty," he admitted. "But I thought you should know."

Soda scratched the back of his head, still trying to get something out from Two-Bits babble.

"You tailed my dad?" he finally said, the only thing he could get a grip on. "Why?"

"That was Pony's idea," Two-Bit defended himself. "You shoulda talk to him." He shifted on his feets. " Sorry Soda, but I need to go back to my date."

"Yeah, sure," Soda said, still frowning, and Two-Bit gave him a pat on his shoulder before he left.

"Hey," Soda shouted, and his friend turned around, walking backwards. "You comin' by the house tomorrow?"

"Sure can, when I slept off my hangover." Two-Bit shouted back and waved at him.

XXX

Pony stood in the hallway, hesitating. He had already done one stupid thing, he shouldn't do two... but his dad had left, and he never got back so quickly. He had time. So instead of walking to his own room, or go out looking for Johnny and hang out with him again, or turn on the TV, he went to his dads bedroom. He wasn't sure what he should look after, but he thought he would know if he found it. The tailing hadn't get him any answers, but maybe they were here somewhere, in the house. He tried not to feel anything when he passed the threshold, pretend it wasn't his parents room. He tried to figure out some good reason to be in here, and there was one, wasn't it? He had to _know_, so he could... what? Help his dad? Call Darry? Be releived? Change something?

He started with the closet, just like the day when he and Soda looked after their mom's money. But then Soda had known what he searched for. Pony had no idea, but there must be something. His dad's shirts and jeans hanged on their hangers to the right, and on the left, his moms dresses, waiting for her to use them. But she would never use them again. He turned away from them, both unable to even touch them, and sure that if his dad had hidden something that would explain his connection to Ed and the bald guy, he would never hide them in Anne's belongings. He just couldn't do that.

Determinded he searched through all the pockets on his dads clothes, and on the shelves in the top of the closet. Nothing. He closed the door and went to the bureau, opened up the drawers and searched through them, but went sure he put all things back where they were. He looked through the photograps, the albums, his dad's underwear. But he left his mom's two drawers, he couldn't open them. He found nothing unusual. He looked under the pillows in the bed, under the sheets, under the mattress. Nothing. After an hour of searching through the room, he sat down on the bed. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe there wasn't something strange with those guys, they could be his dads working buddies or... but his dad had told him to stay away, that they weren't his friends. And yet they had been in their house at least three times, and both Ed and his dad had warned him to not be nosy. That could only mean one thing, that there was something to be nosy about. He sighed and left the room again. He didn't knew if he should be happy or disappointed that he didn't found anything that could explain things. Maybe he was both.

XXX

The house was dark when Soda got home, but it wasn't that late. After some quick peeks into different rooms he knew his dad wasn't home, and then he knocked at Pony's door. He got no answer, so he opened the door and sneaked inside. Pony was in bed, sleeping with his lamp still lit and a book on his chest. He hadn't even changed his clothes. Soda stretched forward and took the book and placed it on the desk, but when he started to drag the sheet over his kid brother, his eyes flickered and he woke up.

"Hey, Soda," he said tiredly and sat up. He rubbed his eyes, and for some reason he looked a bit nervous. Soda sat down on his bed side. "I thought you where out with Sandy," Pony continued.

"Yeah, I was."

Pony looked confused. "So why're you home?" He glanced at the clock. It wasn't even ten thirty.

"I thought you had plans with Two-Bit," Soda said, avoiding Pony's question. He knew his brother wouldn't like that he came home just to check on him. He hated to be treated like a baby.

"No, that was yesterday," Pony told him.

"Yeah, he mentioned that."

Soda watched as his brother turned away a bit, but his face didn't changed, and that made him worried. He maybe never read a book, but Soda could read people very good. Especially his kid brother. It was obvious he hid something.

"What did he say?" Pony said, easily but cautious.

"That he feel shitty for breakin' his scout's honor."

Pony sighed and hid his face in his hands. He should have known he couldn't trust Two-Bit. He was a good buddy, but he just didn't knew how to keep his mouth shut.

"What he'd tell you?"

"That you disappeared and then turned up all pale and shaky. Pony, what happened, and why did'ya tailed dad?" Pony debated with himself wherever he should tell Soda or not. But suddenly he felt just tired of being alone, and that was what he felt all sudden. Alone.

"If I'd tell you you've to promise not do anythin', Soda."

"Yeah, sure..."

Ponyboy took a deep breath and told him everything about yesterday, the house and the threat, but nothing about this evening and what his dad had said or done. He couldn't tell him about that. When he was done talking Soda looked like he had seen a ghost.

"He said he would _kill_ you?" he shouted, furious.

"I don't think he meant it," Pony lied quietly. "He was just mad, maybe he just wanted to scare me..."

"Stop that, Pone. And you'll stay away from there, okay? Damn, Pony..." Soda got up to his feets. "This is just too much." He snapped Pony's cigarette pack from the floor. "Where's dad? I gotta tell him..."

"_No_, Soda!" Pony interrupted him. "You won't tell him a damn thing!"

Soda's eyes almost burned, but he threw away the pack again and plopped down on the bed, on his back with his hands behind his neck. Pony lay down beside him.

"Please, Soda..." he whispered. "I'm sorry I went there. I shouldn't have. But don't turn this any worse..."

Soda sat up and kicked off his shoes, then lay down again, feeling almost defeated. "Put out the lamp, Pone. I wanna sleep."

Pony reached out his hand and turned off the switch, then lay himself down beside Soda. He could hear Soda breathe in the dark, and it sounded like he held something down. Like he would explode any minute.

"Pone?"

"Yeah?"

"Does dad know? That you tailed him?" His voice was strained.

"No," Pony lied. "He didn't saw me." He felt Soda shift in the bed, turning himself towards him.

"How'd you know? He was in that house when you where there, wasn't he?"

"Yeah but... he wouldn't let this Ed say those things to me... right?"

Soda sighed.

"I don't know, Pony. I don't know anything anymore."

XXX

The rain poured down. The whole gang, except for Darry who still was in Oklahoma City, was in the living room. Two-Bit lay on his back on the floor, groaning over his hangover, and Steve shot Soda pissed off glances. Pony and Johnny sat quiet on the couch, and the only one who seemed amused by the others mood's was Dallas.

"Where're your happy faces?" he teased while he waved with his cigarette.

"Knock it off, Dally," Steve said, and lucky for him, Dallas only responed with a laugh. Steve had grunted since he came, still mad at Soda cause he left yesterday, especially when he found out that Pony had been okay all night, that nothing had happened. Mr. Curtis hadn't even been home! Dally put out his cigarette in the ash tray, went to the front door and opened it, grimaced at the bad weather.

"Well, I'm off. Tim had some plans for tonight." He flipped up the collar of his leather jacket and shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped out in the rain. When the door slammed, Two-Bit sat up.

"I need a beer," he said. He glanced at Pony, who immediately turned his head away. Two-Bit met Johnnys gaze instead, who shrugged almost unvisible at him. Pony was mad at him and Steve was mad at Soda, and it was all his fault. He should have said no to Pony when he asked him to tail his dad, and he should have made plans with him so he wasn't alone in the house on a friday night, and then Soda wouldn't have left Sandy and Steve, and Steve wouldn't be mad at Soda. He sighed. Sometimes things where just to complicated.

"In the fridge," Soda said and looked at Steve. "Aw, come on, man! "he said quietly. "Can't you just drop it?"

"You know you've dropped Sandy, right?" Steve asked back, frankly. "Evie told me she has a date with some other guy tonight. What was his name, Scott?"

"What?" Soda felt a sudden pain in his chest. "But... what, I thought..."

"You thought what? That a girl like her would sit home, just waitin' for a guy who ditched her on a date to babysit his brother?"

"Soda didn't babysat me," Pony spat. "What're you talkin' about?" He turned to Soda. "You never told me why you came home so early yesterday. Why did'ya? Did'ya leave Sandy for me?" He looked hurt.

"It wasn't like that," Soda tried, still confused over Sandy, but Steve continued.

"Yeah, he did, kiddo!"

"Shut up, Steve!" Soda shouted in the same time Pony rushed to his feets, almost slamming into the coffe table in the progress.

"How could you, Soda? I don't need you to watch over..."

"Apparently you do," Soda snapped. "Look what happened two days ago!" Pony glared at him.

"What happened two days ago?" Steve asked.

"None of your business," Pony said angrily. "Why couldn't you just shut up?" he accused Two-Bit. "You promised me!"

Two-Bit shook his head. "I _really_ need a beer!" He avoided Pony and walked out to the kitchen. His headache was killing him.

Johnny tried to make himself smaller in the couch. He hated fights, and what was even worse, it was his friends that argued and shouted at each other. He wished he had gone with Dally, but it was too late now. He glanced at the door, and just when he hoped Dally would come back and get him, he saw it open up.

"Guys..." he said, and even if he talked in a low voice and the three of them still argued, they heard him,or the door, and turned around. Soda got up on his feets and Pony's eyes widened.

"Oh god..." he said when he saw who it was.

* * *

><p>I'm back, and thanks for you reviews!<p> 


	14. Back home

**Chapter Fourteen - **_**Back home**_

First they all just stared at the door, but then Pony reacted.

"Darry!" He rushed through the room and threw himself in his brother's arms. He was soaked from the rain, but Pony didn't cared.

"Hey, take it easy, Pone." Darry looked up. "Soda, what happen to you?" he asked. Soda touched his eye. It looked much better, but it was still yellow, revealed that he'd got beaten up.

"It's nothin', Dar. What are you doin' here?"

"This is my home too, you know," Darry said. He let go of Pony and walked to Soda and gave him a hug too. "I have a day off," he explained. "Thought I should come home to visit." His gaze swept through the room. The silence was almost awkward after the fight. Johnny still sat on the couch, Steve looked down at the floor and Two-Bit peeked out from the kitchen doorway with a beer in his hand.

"What was you guys fighting about? I could hear you shouting all way from the driveway." He said it easily, but there was concern in his voice. It wasn't usual for the gang to fight amongst themselves. No one said anything, and Darry catched Soda's eyes.

"Well?"

"Nothin' important, Darry," Soda said, looking sad. "I need to go to the bathroom..." he turned around and disappeared around the corner. Darry sighed and took of his jacket, then he sat down on the couch next to Johnny. Two-Bit raised his beer.

"Long time no see, Darry. How's you been?"

"Good, I guess. Much in school and at work." He looked at Pony, who had sat down on the floor on the opposite side of the coffe table, then at Two-Bit again.

"How about you guys?"

"Fine," Pony answered before anyone else had time to do it. But his voice sounded like it was everything but fine, and Darry frowned.

"What's wrong?"

He felt bad when he saw the look in his youngest brother's eyes. It was the same look he had had when he'd left, two weeks after the accident. Suddenly he felt guilty that he hadn't been home since then. He had just called, assuming that everything and everyone was fine, like it used to be. But things wasn't like they used to be. And he knew he had fled. There was no other word for it, even if he didn't thought about it that way then, not until now, when he could feel all the tension in the house.

The past months he had gone to school, done his assignments, played football, worked part time and later full time during the break, even dated this girl, Sarah, and he barely had time to think about his family. He had chosen not to, he realized. It was like when he was away he could pretend everything was normal, that the accident never had happened. He could pretend his mom was still alive. He felt ashamed. When he was gone, his dad and brothers had to live in the ruins he had left. And when he had opened up the front door this day, he knew he had expected things to be like before the accident. He had never thought about that it could be like this. This heavy... sorrow. He remembered the phone call from Pony, and suddenly wondered if there had been some reason for it, a reason he had missed.

"What do you mean," Pony said, and it wasn't a question. He knew exactly what Darry talked about.

Darry met Two-Bit's eyes, and his buddy nodded behind Pony's back.

"Steve, Johnny," he said. "Let's go." His oldest friend was often smarter than he got credit for, Darry thought.

Steve threw some guilty glances at the direction Soda had went, and he felt bad for what he had said, or at least how he had said it.

"Tell Soda I'll call him," he said when he reached the porch. Pony jerked when the door slammed shut, like he wasn't aware of that their friends was about to leave.

"What is it, Pony?" Darry urged. Pony avoided his question and lit a cigarette.

"Hey, don't smoke in the house!"

Pony gave him a firm look.

"Dad does it all the time," he said, and Darry almost felt his jaw drop. If it had been something their parents had a rule against, it was smoking in the house. But he managed to collect himself from the surprise. A bad feeling in his gut told him there probably would be a lot of surprises, and he blamed himself for not coming home sooner.

"Well, I say you don't, so put it out." Pony sighed heavily, but did what his brother told him to do. "Where's dad anyway?" Darry asked.

"I don't know."

Darry sighed and dropped it, for the moment.

XXX

Soda sat on the floor in the bathroom, with his arms around his legs and his forhead leaning against his knees. He tried hard not to cry. _She's just a girl,_ he tried to convince himself. He couldn't believe it. He had lost his mom, his dad, almost his older brother, a brother who suddenly just showed up in the worst moment ever, and now he was about to lose his girl too? He needed Sandy. He had never felt like this about a girl before, and he had had plenty of them. Maybe not girlfriends, but girls who swarmed around him in school and at the DX. He didn't cared about them, though, not like he cared about Sandy. Scott. He knew the guy. He was some middle class kid, living not far from the east side, he was smart and nice and good-looking and would fit perfect to Sandy. Damn.

He heard the front door slam and instinctively just knew that their friends had left, leaving Pony alone with Darry. He wiped his tears and got up, washing his face in cold water and walked back to the living room.

"You guys hungry?" he asked, but he didn't wait for them to answer. He went to the kitchen, opened up the fridge and cabinets for the ingrediens for pancakes. He felt more than heard his brothers enter the room.

"You think I can use chocolate milk instead of regular milk?" he asked. "It must be chocolate pancakes if I do that. Yeah, I think I'll try!" He turned on the stove and began to whip the ingredienses in a bowl.

"Chocolate pancakes?" Darry said with a smile, and then asked Soda the same question he had asked Pony. "Soda, where's dad?"

Pony looked at Soda, who frowned and almost unnoticed shook his head. He put the bowl down, then turned to his older brother.

"He's out somewhere," he said easily. "Why don't ya sit down, Darry?"

Darry did, and Pony folded his arms over his chest.

"Soda, I think we should tell him." Suddenly he felt so relieved Darry was there, that he wanted to tell him everything. At least one thing for start. Darry was an adult, he could fix things to the better. Even if he still felt ashamed, that he and Soda had failed their dad somewhere, he needed Darry to know.

"Tell me what?" Darry asked in the same time Soda said "Shut up, Pone!" Darry looked from the one to the other. Suddenly he stiffened even more when he saw their faces. Soda looked irritated and Pony determined.

"What's goin' on here?"

Soda glared at Pony so he should keep his mouth shut, and then looked at Darry.

"It ain't a big deal, Dar, but..."

"Dad's drinkin'," Pony said hastily.

"Drinking?" Darry looked confused.

"Booze," Pony added. "He's sad and he misses mom and he drinks booze. And beer. A lot."

Darry shook his head, like he tried to sort his thoughts. Then he looked up at them.

"What?" he hollered. Then he lowered his voice again. "What? I mean, for how long..."

"Not that long," Soda said.

"Since you left us," Pony exclaimed. "I told you you shouldn't go!"

"It's not Darry's fault," Soda snapped. Then he softened when he saw Pony's face. "Sorry, Pony, I'm not mad at you." Darry looked at them, disbelieved. He couldn't get a grip out what they where saying to him, and he was still confused about them arguing with each other. They never used to do that.

"Calm down, you two...just tell me what's the matter, okay?"

Soda looked at Pony and then sighed.

"All right. Dad's got like crazy... he drinks like Pony said. And..."

"And he hit Soda!" Pony blurted.

"Pony!" Soda hissed.

"He did _what_?

XXX

It took them forever to calm Darry down. Finally, he sat on the couch, staring, trying to understand. He couldn't. They had told him everything, except about Ed's threat to Pony, and the only reason for them to left that out was that they were scared Darry would do something stupid if he found out.

"What am I gonna do?" Darry asked out in the room, and Soda and Pony exchanged gazes, not sure what they should answer, but Darry continued anyway. "I... I have a job. A girl..." He shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because of that," Soda said. "You have school and a job and all. We didn't wanted you to thought you've to stay here."

"You should've told me," Darry sighed. "I've to make some phone calls." He got up and grabbed the phone. He waved at them to leave the room, and the two younger brothers went out to the porch to smoke. Pony watched the gray sky. The rain had stopped, but everything smelled after it, wet asphalt and grass and wood. He liked it. It was a summer smell.

"You shouldn't have told him everything," Soda accused gently. "Now he feels he must stay here."

"Maybe I want him to," Pony said stubbornly and played with his lighter.

"I know, but he needs the money from his job, you know that."

"He can work here in Tulsa."

"Where? You can't just pick a job, Pone, you've to search for it and..."

"I know that!"

Soda sat down on the small bench they had on the porch. He felt strange. Lightweighted. And then he realized, with Darry back he wasn't the oldest anymore, not the one that had to take responsibility over everything, not the one who had to be the adult all the time. It was Darry's turn to handle their dad and take care of Ponyboy. He could be sixteen again. Maybe he could fix things up with Sandy. He could call her, talk to her, maybe make her ditch that Scott... God, the kid hadn't done anything yet, and he just wanted to punch him anyway, hard. Knock his teeth out. Break his nose. Sandy was still his girl, she hadn't broken up with him yet, she couldn't just go out with another guy! She just couldn't.

Like he could read his brother's mind, Pony sat down beside him. "Soda... I'm sorry about Sandy."

"Yeah... me too."

"But I didn't asked you to come home you know." Pony tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice, but didn't succeeded. Soda groaned inside.

"Pony, please, not now," he begged. They had already fighted too much, he didn't wanted to go through all that shit again.

"Sorry," Pony mumbled.

XXX

"So Superman is stayin'?" Two-Bit asked. He and Johnny had followed Pony to the library, something Two-Bit called a new experience. He took down books from the shelves, flipped through them and put them back in the wrong places. Pony sighed and correct it before the librarian would notice. Johnny looked nervous for some reason. The library was too quiet, and he was scared he would break something, even if there wasn't something to break.

"Yeah. He called his old work, you know, where dad used to work, and he got part time." Pony walked to another side of the library, and his friends followed him.

"I thought he wanted full time," Johnny said.

"He wants it, but he said this is better than nothin'," Pony replied and picked a book. "Come on." He wanted to hurry up before two-Bit got bored and made up a mess. When he had borrowed the book, they went to the little corner shop to get some pepsi's and smokes. Pony held the cold bottle against his forhead. This summer was one of the hottest ever, he thought.

"So what happened between him and your dad?" Johnny asked, picking up the subject again when they started to walk home. Two-Bit's car was in Steve's care for god knows what time in order, and this time the mechanic had just sighed and shaken his head, trying to convince his friend to let him tear the car apart and sell the pieces. Two-Bit had looked shocked and refused.

"_I know you can fix it, Steve! You and Soda," _he had told him. "_I trust you_."

"They... argued," Pony answered Johnny. That wasn't really the truth, but he didn't wanted to think about it, nor speak about it. Their dad had got home on the evening that saturday, and Darry had taken him to his bedroom to talk in private. Not that Pony and Soda couldn't hear every word when they sat in the hallway just outside the door. Darry had been so angry, so sad and disappointed, and Pony could swear he had heard him cry when he yelled at their dad. He had hollered about the drinking, the job he'd lost, the hitting of Soda. Pony felt relieved no one of his brothers knew that he had hit him too. He knew they still saw him as the baby brother, the one they had to protect all the time, and sometimes he just got sick of it. It could be good too, but not always. Not this time.

"I think things will be better now," Pony continued. He really thought that. Darry was smart. Strong. He had already tried to fix their dad's job back to him, but it wasn't that easy. They had found out that their dad had got fired when he'd showed up at work drunk a several times, and the boss wasn't sure he wanted to give him a second chance. But Pony hoped he would do that. Maybe things would be okay real soon if he did that. They had to be.

"That's good," Johnny said and smiled. He felt relieved too. After Pony and Soda, he thought he was the one who had taken Mr. Curtis change the hardest of the gang. Or maybe he was just the one who showed it the most. When he thought about it, Dally had been distant lately, and he knew Steve had stopped sleeping on the couch in the Curtises house. And Two-Bit was really worried about Ponyboy. He never said anything, but it was something in the way he glanced at the younger boy when he thought no one noticed. Johnny assumed it had something to do with that day they had followed Mr. Curtis. Soda had mentioned it when they had that fight, that something had happened. But both Pony and Two-Bit kept their mouth's shut, and Johnny wouldn't ask them.

"I have to stop by the DX, " Two-Bit said. "Make sure Steve doin' his job." Pony rolled his eyes. "Hey, I saw that!" Two-Bit shouted at him and pushed him gently, but Pony just laughed at him and pushed him back.

"You wanna come?" Two-Bit asked.

Johnny looked at Pony, but the youngest shook his head.

"Nah, I wanna go home, I must leave the book ya know."

Two-Bit took it from him. "What's it about? Girls? What, no pictures?"

"It's not a children's book, Two-Bit!" Pony took it back. "And take it easy with it, if you rip it I've to pay for it. You comin' Johnny?"

"Yeah. Bye, Two-Bit!"

Pony and Johnny went to Pony's place. Pony frowned when they got closer to the house.

"Who's car is that?" Johnny asked.

"Don't know," Pony said, a bit worried. A blue ford stood on the driveway. It was old and rusty, but didn't belonged to anyone they knew. Darry drove a red plymoth, and his dad only had the truck since the family car got destroyed in the crash. Suddenly Pony was almost afraid to walk inside. What if Ed or the other guy was there? He glanced at Johnny, who understood.

"You want me to go in and check?" he volunteered quietly, but Pony said no. It wasn't Johnny's problem.

"Come on." He took a grip at his friend's arm and stepped up on the porch. He looked through the window, but couldn't see anyone, so he opened up the door as slow as he could.

"Anybody home?"

His dad came out from the kitchen with a beer in his hand, and Pony's heart sank. For some reason, he had thought his dad would stop drink immediately now when Darry was back. But this time he got a smile from his dad, and he realized he hadn't seen him smile in a long time.

"You saw my new car?" Mr. Curtis said.

"Your new car?" Pony asked. But what he really wanted to ask was how he could afford it.

"Yes. I made some business with Ed, and he gave it to me." He looked like a child on christmas eve, but Pony took a step backwards.

"Ed?"

"Yes, you know Ed." His dad stumbled to the couch and sat down. "You've met him." Pony's heart started to throb faster, and he was glad Johnny was there too.

"You said to me... you said to stay away from him. I thought you would do that too, dad." His insides almost screamed. Ed had said he would kill him, and yet his dad made _business_ with him? What kind of business? Something that earned him a car.

"Don't be stupid, Ponyboy," his dad said and swept the beer. "It's good money." He burped. "Give me another beer, will ya?"

* * *

><p>Thank you for reviews, I'm so happy you like this story!<p>

I don't know a thing about cars. I know they have four wheels and that's about it. So if i make a mistake about cars in this story, well, just overlook it.


	15. Mr Curtis

**Chapter Fifteen - **_**Mr Curtis**_

The bed was so empty. Everytime he turned around and looked at his right side he expected to see the sleeping form of his wife. Every morning he expected to be waked up with a kiss and a laughter, and Anne's golden curls tickling him on his cheeks and neck. Every day he expected conversations, hugs, dinner, argues, smiles, a normal family life. It never happened. The days was empty, she was gone, and he couldn't stand it.

He hadn't planned to start drinking, but he remember how it began. The first weeks after the accident was a blur, and it wasn't only the concussion he had got who made the world unreal. He remembered the words.

_"I'm sorry, Mr. Curtis, but your wife is dead."_ And then it was over. Just like that. The love. His life. Their family. The future. Everything that mattered. And he could do nothing about it.

He had _tried_, he really had. But he just couldn't do anything. Darry had to take care of things, at least he thought it was Darry. It couldn't be Soda or Pony, they were too young. But somehow they had a funeral, somehow they got a headstone on her grave, God, just that word made him shudder. Grave. A goddamned grave. She was covered with dirt, under ground, and he hated it. He dreamed nightmares about it, how the doctors shoved her down in a hole and began to throw soil on her while she screamed and screamed... Those nights he woke up, afraid that they had buried her alive, that they had made a terrible mistake. It was after one of those dreams he had got up to drink a glass of water, but had found a beer instead. The bitter drink made him sleep, and almost forget. But just almost. His boys didn't knew then, they were so caught up in their own sorrow. Darry so determined, so alert and serious, Soda who cried and Pony who looked so miserable. He didn't wanted to see them, their eyes, their unknowing that he wished he had died in that car crash too. They needed him, but he couldn't be there. So he hid in his bedroom.

And then, Darry had to leave and for some reason, he really thought he could make it. Come back again. Go to work. Start living. He had some guys at work who had lost their wives too, in cancer or accidents, and they lived on. They came to the funeral, patted him on his shoulder and said meaningless words. _I'm sorry_. That didn't meant anything. That didn't brought her back. And when the morning came, the morning he had decided to start over, he just couldn't get up. He couldn't leave his room. Go out to the reality and see what he had lost when he saw his boys. Soda was so alike her, and Pony was so alike Soda. So he sneaked out when he thought they where sleeping, like a stranger in his own house. And he was. He didn't recognized himself anymore. Not in his thoughts, not in the mirror. Someone else stared back, with red rimmed eyes and a unshaved chin. The holes in his cheeks grew deeper, his collarbones stood out. He forgot to eat. He felt old. So tired.

But then he had to pull it together, when they found the bills he had hidden. He never meant to do it, he just pushed the thought of living aside, and he thought he did it fine. That the world maybe somehow would stop when he did. Give him a break for once. Apparently, it didn't. He had to jump up on the train again, he knew that. before it was to late. So he tried again to went to work, and he managed. One step at a time, one foot before the other, go, go, go, roofs to build, bills to pay, boys to talk to, to care for. And sometimes it felt normal. But the ghost of his wife still haunted him, and he knew that if he just could open a door fast enough she would be there, behind it. If he'd managed to turn around quickly enough when he felt her breath in the back of his neck, he would meet her brown eyes. And then they would dance all night in the living room, not care of who would see, and talk in small voices, like they used to do. And their boys maybe would be embarrased if their friends stopped by, especially the young Ponyboy who wasn't into girls yet, but Darry and Soda would understand.

But he was always to slow when he opened the door. When he turned around. And she was never there, and his arms was empty.

He found the comfort at last. In the bottle. The friend. The sleep. It was like medication, a pill who made the colors back. Not the right colors, but still, it was colors. The world wasn't bright, but it wasn't deep black.

And the life became a dream, like he stood outside looking in, through glass, and he enjoyed the feeling. He could try to forget. Her. Anne. It hurt to much to remember, and he fled out, from the house and the boys and the memories, and he felt comfort in the bars and the booze, but then there was the money. He tried to pay for another glass of whiskey and the bartender just gave him that look, _I think you've enough now, sir_, and the next day he went to work again, but was sent home. He couldn't even walk straight, how could he think they would send him up on a roof? _Came back when you're sober, Mr. Curtis._ It was the third time, and they were tired now. Damn them. But he needed money. Alcohol. His comfort. And he knew it was stupid, but he had heard about Mr. Cambell and his loans. So he took the risk. He didn't cared anyway. It wasn't easy to beg, but he did. And Mr. cambell knew someone who knew someone who knew him, so he got the money, enough for a time, but of course, they disappeared into the economy holes. Bills and booze, like always. Life was never easy.

So the money runned out again, and he had drunk all the booze he had at home, and he saw_ her _in his brain, and he needed something, and he remembered her savings, for troubled times. This was a troubled time. She would understand. She would. If it had been the opposite, he had allowed her to seek the peace. To not be alone.

But the box was empty like his heart was empty, and he knew who to blame. Those damn kids. He hated them right then, and he was scared for himself. He hated _her_ kids, the ones that was a part of them together, and he felt so ashamed. They heard the hate when he yelled at them. So the next day, he promised them. Just one last day to forget, and then he would remember again. Stop drinking. Be a dad. Come back. Restart life. Breathe. One day. Two bottles they had tried to hide in the basement. But he found them, and they were his. The last ones. Then he would try, and succeed.

If they just hadn't went to that _place_, he had made it. He heard them talk, and he wanted to rush out, to stop them, but he was too drunk and his feet didn't wanted to cooperate, and his head spun and they left. To the place. The grave. The real world. How could they? They took her from the house and placed her _there_, in the hole, in the dirt, and he sat on the couch with the bottle and waited for them. He had to make them understand. But when they came back, and he asked them, still hoping they would say no, they had been at another place, but all they did was talking and talking and talking, about _her_, and Sodapop refused to listen when he told him not to, so he slapped him, hard, to shut him up. The rest of that evening was dark.

The music and pool games at the bar the other night, the night that would changed his life again, filled him. He was drunk and he'd lost the game, but the man who won, a blonde one, patted his shoulder and told him he could pay him another time when he showed him his empty wallet. And he felt relieved, even if he somewhere deep inside had hoped for a fight, a punch at his jaw, a kick in his stomach, a knife in his heart. But it wasn't his time to die.

Only hers. Anne's.

His new friends understood. They sat together at the table, and they ordered in beers and whiskey and filled his glass everytime he emptied it, so he told them about the accident and Anne and the boys and the work. Explained the empty wallet. The bills he had to pay, and he nearly asked them to kill him, but they talked first. And it sounded so easy. So good. You will take that, you will go there. So easy that a child could do it. They told him he would went to a special house, take a package, memory an adress, deliver. Get an envelope, take it back. He almost laughed when he thought about how dumb he had been, roofing houses. This was easy money, money who would pay back the loan and the interest and the bills and get him his booze. He took them home, Ed and Gregory, and talked business, and they only got disturbed when Pony got home from school, but the boy knew his social manner and went to his room.

A couple of days after he had start his new job he was almost sober even, and had a great dinner with his boys. He had missed them, but now everything would be okay. Until Pony's principal called and he got a reminder of what a lousy dad he had become. School and homework hadn't got his attention once since the accident, and ditching school for a star student was an odd thing to do. He didn't need eyes on him. He wasn't one of those damn fathers on the east side, like Dallas' or Steve's or Johnny's. And he blamed Ponyboy for turning him into one of them.

The kid was to smart, too. Asked him questions about his friends, who apparently had showed up in the house when he wasn't home. And suddenly he got that feeling in his gut, that something maybe wasn't all right with the job he'd got. He had never asked what was in the packages, and he hadn't really cared, it was the money it paid that blinded him. But he wasn't stupid, just lost, and it all came over him when he came home that night and found Ed leaning against Soda, and his boys accusing eyes gave him that burning feeling. He sent the boys to their rooms and knew Ed and Gregory had him on the hook. But of course, they wasn't stupid. Of course they had a hook. He told them to stay away from his boys and they laughed and told him they would. But he heard what they didn't said. And he knew they where dangerous. Take a step in, and you can't take a step out. He wished he didn't cared.

So when Soda demanded answers after they had left, he snapped. Maybe he was scared, maybe he just felt deceived, by those men, by life itself. It wasn't an excuse, but when his fists landed in his middle son's face, it was like he finally punched back. Everything he couldn't handle was in his hand, ran out with the blood from Soda's nose. It scared him that he liked the feeling of being the strongest, the one in control. Finally in control. The sorrow and the booze pinned him down, but the anger, the control it gave him, it just felt good. But it also was a border, a line he had crossed, and he knew he had become distant to his sons. And when he tried to get closer, he failed. He knew he had done just that when he saw Ponyboy's report card. It was almost like he heard Anne's voice, her disappointment, and he crumpled the paper in front of Pony, saw his eyes grew wide, and he just didn't wanted to be this boy's dad anymore. Pony deserved something better. Something he couldn't give him. And then he got angry again, and he hated it, all the love he used to feel was gone, Anne was gone, Darry was gone, thank god, but Soda and Pony still was there, in need. And he pushed them away so they could understand that the family no longer existed, that he wasn't the man he used to be, and he could just hope they would stay away. From him.

But of course, they didn't. Pony somehow followed him to the house, to his job, to his new life, and he didn't wanted him there. He had to be alone. He talked to him. And suddenly Pony was on the floor, crying, talking about Ed and threats, and a part of him became the dad, the one that should care, but the other part wanted to slam the fist into the innocent boy's face, erase the look in those green eyes, and he became worried, about Pony, about himself, again. Always again and again and again. He lost it all, every day. And it turned him to be a monster.

And he hated the whole world when Darry came back.

His oldest son. The best friend. The college student he supposed to be proud of. The one that still saw him like the old person, but not anymore. Of course Soda and Pony told him everything, and he realized he was surprised they hadn't done it earlier. But now they had, and the house was too small to all the fights that came up. He already knew Darry would stay, trying to keep an eye on him, trying to take his medicin away. Bringing Anne's memory back in their lives. He knew they talked about her. They made this so hard. Too hard.

Darry went back to his old job, to roof houses, and he told him he tried to talk to them, so he could go back too, and all he wanted to do was scream _No_. He would never go back there. But with both his oldest sons at work and the youngest one out with friends, he was free to do his job, and there was plenty of packages to deliver. Drugs or guns or money, he didn't know, and he didn't cared. At least he still could forgot about the past, at least he still could afford what he wanted. The only thing that mattered now.

Forget. Never dream. Never look back on a life that would never come true again.

Anne. Anne, Anne, Anne. He missed her so much he had to let her go completely. Let it all go.

XXX

Darry came home from work and found his dad drunk, again. He had been home for a while now, and he was still not used to this. He couldn't believe it had gone this far without him knowing, and he could only hope to fix this before the school started again after the summer. He didn't wanted to skip the semester.

"Pony?" he shouted, and some seconds later, he heard a door open down the hallway.

"I'm here, Darry." His brother came out with a book in his hand. He glanced at his dad in the couch. "He fell asleep some hour ago."

"I thought I had got rid of all the booze in the house. What did he drink? And where did he got the money from to buy some new stuff?"

Pony flinched a bit. He hated that question. It wasn't like he knew the answer, but he could guess. Not that he would tell Darry, so he still denied to know anything.

"He had some beers when I got home from the library."

"And you let him drink? Pony, I..."

"Geez, Dar! What can I do? He's stronger than I am! I can't just take them away from him," Pony interrupted him.

Darry sighed and sat down in the recliner. Pony was right, he couldn't ask his kid brother to take care of things, especially since he was afraid their dad would hit him. God, he still had problems to believe that it actually had happened, that Soda had been abused. Of course he trusted his brothers, but that it was his _dad_...

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." Then he frowned and looked around. "Someone else is here? I saw a car on the driveway."

"It's dad's. He told me he'd got it from someone."

"Got it? You just don't _get_ a car, Pone."

"I can't help what he told me." Pony held up his book. "I'm goin' to read again, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Pony left and Darry leaned backwards and closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>I know the beginning in this chapter is a bit different than the rest, and I'm not sure it fits in the story, but I felt I had to write it down anyway. I hope it feels like something that could happen to a person when someone they love dies. Like it or not? Should I keep it or deleterewrite it?


	16. Birthday boy

**Chapter Sixteen - **_**Birthday boy**_

It was a relief that Darry was back, even if things didn't changed as much as Pony and Soda had hoped for. Darry argued and shouted at their dad in a way they never could do, and he did that every day, but it didn't help. He wasn't afraid of throw the beers and liquor bottles in the trash when he found them, but that just made their dad home more seldom. Darry first thought he went to some bars and sighed everytime he got home and Mr. Curtis was no where to be found. He was still questioning everyone in his family about where their dad got his money from, but Mr. Curtis only told him that he worked, and Pony and Soda kept their mouths shut about their suspicions. If they told Darry about Ed and the bald guy, they would have to tell him everything, and Pony refused to do that. He was worried, but Soda had started to think otherwise.

"Come on, Soda!" Pony pleaded one day after they had discussed the matter. "You can't tell him about them!"

Soda looked up from the car he was working on. Pony sat on the bench in the workshop, and since it was Steve's day off, they were there alone.

"I'm just sayin' I'm not sure I agree with you, Pone." Soda wiped his forhead with his hand, and left a line of oil on it.

"Darry would go nuts!" Pony tried. "What if they do somethin' to him if he went there?" Soda looked at him. Not even he knew where the place was, the house Pony had been dragged into, since Pony refused to tell and Two-Bit pretended not to remember. Their friend didn't wanted Pony to be pissed at him anymore, and he figured he had told the most important part of the story anyway. As long as Pony stayed out of the place, that was.

"Like what?" Soda asked.

"Like hurt him or kill him!"

Soda slammed the hood down on the car and jumped up on it. He dried his hands on the knees of his jumpsuit.

"You think they would do that?" he asked. "Ya know, Darry's really tryin' to take care of things. Why don't we just let him take care of this too?"

Pony looked down on his shoes. He needed new ones, he realized. They had been Soda's once, and they had more holes than he could count, and not only for the shoelaces.

"I'm just afraid he would be careless and do something stupid. Sometimes I think it was better when he was at college," he admitted, and made Soda raise his eyebrows.

"I thought you wanted Darry to be home."

"I did. I do. It's just... he make things so complicated." He looked up. "Aw, you know what I mean, Soda! Sometimes he's overprotective and wants us out of the way, and sometimes he's almost accusing us for not doin' enough about helping dad."

Soda jumped down on the floor again and dragged Pony down from the bench.

"My shift's over."

Pony followed him into the shop and back to the changing room. He found a chair to sit on while Soda changed his DX-clothes to a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Yeah, I do know what you mean," Soda finally answered Pony's statement. "But just don't blame him for it." He went to the sink and looked in the mirror. He smirked a little when he saw the oilstain and washed it off. "You know he just tries to make things up. Besides, you've to admit it's easier when we don't have to tip-toe that much around dad anymore."

"I can't remember you tip-toed before either," Pony said, and Soda shrugged. "And he's still drinkin'."

Soda took a comb from his pocket and dragged it through his hair.

"Don't expect a miracle, Pone. But it will be all right soon, I know it."

Pony looked doubtful. "If you say so," he muttered.

"Cheer up, Pone! Come on, we'll met up with Steve and the others."

They left the gas station and Soda waved good bye to the guy behind the counter when they walked by.

"Bus or walk?" he asked when they got out on the streets.

"Walk, I ain't got any money."

"I do." Soda searched through his pocket, found a coin and threw it to Pony. They sat down on the bench to wait for the bus.

"Where're we goin'?" Pony asked.

"Two-Bit's."

XXX

"Hey, Darry's home, I thought he would work all day today," Pony said as they passed their house on the way to Two-Bit's home. The red plymouth stood parked on the driveway.

"Thought so too," Soda said, but it didn't sound like he meant it. Pony gave him a quick glance.

"What's up, Soda?"

"Nothin', nothin' at all."

Pony looked suspicious.

"You know Soda, for bein' good at playin' poker, you really got a lousy pokerface right now." Soda just laughed and gave his shoulder a little push, and Pony took a step up on the stairs to Two-Bit's front door. The house was dark and silent, and curtains covered all the windows. Pony felt uncertain and stopped.

"You sure we should meet the guy's here?" he asked. Even if they always was welcome in Two-Bit's house, it wasn't like their own where everyone, at least before his mom died and his dad went crazy, just stepped inside and made themselves comfortable. He wasn't sure Two-Bit's mom would like it if they were here without any in the family home.

"Yeah, they'll be here soon," Soda reassured him. "We can wait in the living room."

"Okay, but..." In the same time he stepped inside the living room, someone turned on the lamp and the whole gang was there.

"_Surprise_!"

"Hey... what?" Pony looked confused. Two-Bit stepped forward and slung his arm around his shoulder.

"Are you surprised? It was my idea of havin' a surprise party for your birthday!" He messed up his hair and Pony tried to slip away. When he got out from Two-Bit's grip, he shook his head and smiled.

"Yeah... yeah I am, but ya know, it's not my birthday until next week." He gave Darry and Soda a strange look. First he couldn't believe they actually had forgot the real date, but he got his explanation from Two-Bit. His friend grinned at him.

"We know that, birthday boy! But if we would have your party on the right date, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"

"I guess not," Pony admitted and smiled at him.

"But you have to wait for your presents until then, Pone," Soda said and walked past him to the coffe table. "Come on, let's eat cake!"

"You've survived your first year as a teenager, Ponyboy," Two-Bit said and waved at him with a spoon. Soda had cut the chocolate cake in pieces and handed everyone a plate, and they sat around the coffe table and ate it. "What are you gonna do when you're fourteen?"

"I don't know. I guess the same I do now."

"Readin' books and day dream?" Steve snorted, but he smirked. Soda pushed him so he fell from the couch.

"It's nothin' wrong with that, Stevie!" he laughed. Steve cussed at him and got up on the couch again.

"You can have a real party at Buck's," Dally said a bit bored. "This sucks, man," he told Two-Bit. "Where's the beer? The broads?"

"I don't think so," Darry said and shook his head. "Ponyboy, you'll never go near Buck's, you hear me?"

"This is a child's party," Two-Bit said significant to Dally and earned a glare and a smack on his head from Ponyboy. He ducked and twisted. "But there's beer in the fridge. Hey, kiddo, stop that!"

"I'm not a child, Two-Bit!"

XXX

It was almost midnight when they walked home. The three Curtis brothers waved good bye to Johnny, Steve and Dally and headed down the street in the opposit direction. It was almost as hot as the day, even if it was so late at night. Pony yawned, but Soda was jumpy, making both his brothers tired just looking at him.

"Go to bed," Darry said when they walked in through their front door. He sighed when he saw the coffe table full of beer bottles, and went to the kitchen to get the trash can. He cleaned up, wondering where their dad was. The toilet flushed, revealing that Pony obeyed his orders, but Soda threw himself down at the couch.

"I know there is something you won't tell me," Darry said to him. "I ain't stupid."

"Why do you think that?" Soda asked, but Darry didn't miss the look he got in his eyes.

"Cause you have been living with dad being like this much longer than I have," He picked up the last bottle and threw it away. "Where is he when he's not home?"

Soda shrugged.

"At some bar?" he suggested.

"You _spend _money at a bar, it doesn't_ get _you any. And he's apparently not at his old work, and he refuses to tell me what he does instead." He put the trash can down at the table.

"Yeah, he won't tell me either," Soda said.

"But..?"

"No but's, Dar."

"You sure?"

"Hell yeah, I'm sure Darry, stop naggin'." He leaned backwards and folded his arms. Suddenly he got tired of it all. Why couldn't everything be simple again?

"I hate this, Darry," he said quietly, close to his tears. Darry sat down beside him.

"Don't worry, Soda, it will be okay."

"Yeah, I used to say so myself." He sniffed, then made a desicion. "Talk to Ponyboy."

Darry scowled. "Why? You think he knows something?"

"Just talk to him." Soda stood up. "I'm going to bed. Good night, Dar."

"Night, Soda."

Darry watched his middle brother when he walked away. He heard him enter the bathroom, and then he got up to his feet and headed to Pony's room. But when he opened the door he saw that he already was asleep, so he quietly closed it again. He could talk to him tomorrow.

XXX

When he woke up the next morning Darry looked around in the house. Their dad was still not home. He made some coffe and boiled some eggs for Pony and Soda for breakfast. His middle brother had a day off today, but Darry should be at work in an hour. That meant if Pony didn't got up soon, he wouldn't have the time to speak to him before he had to leave. He went out to pick up the newspaper, and when he sat at the table, reading it, Soda walked in with only a pair of boxers on.

"Soda, get dressed."

"It's so hot!" Soda said and picked a can of grape jelly and a milk from the fridge. "I'll bet it some sort of record." He put the jelly on the table and drank milk directly from the carton.

"Use a glass, Soda." Darry frowned. "You're up early, don't you have a day off?"

"I couldn't sleep, my room is like an oven."

"Mine too." Pony came into the kitchen. "We should get an air conditioner." He dragged at the collar of his t-shirt.

"Too expensive. Open your windows."

"They are already open, and it doesn't help a bit."

The phone rang and Darry got up on his feets. He dropped the paper on the table, and before he went through the doorway he turned around.

"Your eggs are ready." He picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Maybe we could go to the lake today," Soda said while he put jelly on his egg. "We can ask Two-Bit if he'll drive."

"What about Steve?" Pony asked.

"He's workin'." He turned around in his chair when he heard Darry's voice sound upset. He gave Pony a brief look, and then both boys got up and went to stand beside Darry, who had a strange look in his face.

"We can't afford that," he said to the person on the other line. "You have to take one of the free lawyers. Have they offered you one yet?"

"Who is it? What..." Soda whispered, but Darry shook his head at him to shut him up.

"Okay, that's good..." Darry said. "Yeah, dad... okay. Bye." He hung up the phone and sighed heavy. "Damn!"

"Darry?" Soda urged. The oldest brother turned around and looked at them.

"Dad got arrested," was all he said, and they where too shocked to say anything before Darry picked up the receiver again, for calling his job and tell them he couldn't be there today. When he had hung up the phone for the second time, Soda almost exploded.

"_Arrested_, Darry? What the hell did he do?"

"I don't know yet. He refused to tell me." Soda and Pony kept asking him questions, and he tried to answer, but since he hadn't any it was hard, and suddenly he realized something. The boys in front of him was both minors, with a dead mom and a dad in jail.

"Shit!" he swore.

XXX

Soda and Pony was at the back yard, in the shadow, smoking. Soda sat against the house wall, while Pony laid on his stomach, studying the grass. It was more yellow than green now because of the heat. Even if both boys was dressed in cut off jeans and tank tops, it didn't help.

"Watch it, Pone," Soda warned him. "Don't start a fire."

Pony raised his hand. The cigarette between his fingers had been to close to the dry grass. He sat up and threw the butt in his water glass.

"I hear a car!" he said and tried to listen, but Soda shook his head.

"It ain't Darry's."

"How do you know?"

"I can hear it."

Pony sat down beside Soda and leaned his head against his shoulder.

"What do you think Darry's doin'?" he asked, but Soda just scowled.

"No idea, Pone."

After he had made his phone calls, Darry had told his brothers to stay home until he got back, and then he had just left. It had been three hours ago, and they both felt nervous. Something was up, and they didn't knew what it was. A sudden voice made them both jump and turn to the back door.

"So it's here you're hidin'?"

"Geez, Two-Bit!" Soda said. "We didn't heard you."

"I snuck," Two-Bit admitted. "But I brought ice cream to make it up to you." He held up a package and three spoons. He sat down beside them and took of the lid. "So what's up today? Any plans?" He asked as he gave them each a spoon each and start eating.

Pony and Soda glanced at each other, then Soda turned to Two-Bit.

"Dad got arrested."

"He what? What did he do?"

"We don't know. Darry drove away somewhere, I'll guess down to the police station to find out some more."

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, you two. It can't be that serious." In the same time they heard a car door slam, and Soda jerked his head up.

"It's Darry!" In a second he was up to his feet and run through the back door, Pony and Two-Bit behind him. In the same time they reached the living room, Darry stepped inside the house. He held a bunch of papers in his hand. He looked tired. Soda and Pony stared at him, waiting for him to say something, and he sighed.

"It's serious," he said. "He's got a lawyer, but dad doesn't want us to pay his bail. I don't know why, but I don't think we could afford it anyway."

"How serious?" Soda asked, a bit stunned.

"Drug dealing."

"Damn!" Two-Bit said. Soda sank down in the recliner. Pony stood still on the floor, looking confused. Darry laughed, a bitter laugh.

"Well, now we know where he got his money from, at least."

"It's not funny, Darry," Soda said, and Darry stopped laughing.

"No, its not. You know what more which isn't funny? This!" He threw the papers he was holding in Soda's lap.

"What's this?"

"Temporary custody. I went to the social services after visiting dad."

Pony frowned.

"Why did you do that for?"

"What do you think? Mom is dead and dad's in jail. It was just a matter of time before they would knock on our door to get you. I thought it was better I went to them first."

Soda flipped through the papers.

"So... you're like... our guardian now?"

"Yeah. No. Only until dad's trial."

"What will happen after dad's trial?" Pony asked, pale. Darry looked stern.

"If he get's out, he'll get the custody back. If he's not..." he shook his head. "If he's not... I have no idea."

* * *

><p>I've got a beta-reader, many thanks to <strong>writer3098<strong> for help with my grammar!

And thanks for all reviews! I really appreciate them all!


	17. Gold position

**Chapter Seventeen - **_**Gold position**_

The three Curtis brothers still tried to understand the seriousness in the matter that their dad maybe would go to prison. If he did, what would happen to them? Not only to Soda or Pony, even Darry was affected by this.

"What do you mean, no idea?" Soda urged. "What did they say?"

Darry hesitated, but then he told them the truth.

"Well, either you two end up in the states care, or we can go to custody court and, uh..." he let his voice trail off.

"Custody court?" Pony asked. He almost looked like a deer caught in the spotlight. "Why? Can't they just let you be our guardian all the time if... if dad can't?"

Darry didn't looked him in his eyes.

"Listen, Pone... it's summer break now, right? I can take care of you a month, no big deal. But I can't take you with me to college. I share a room in a dorm!"

Pony tried to take in everything that happened.

"So what will happen if dad goes to prison? Can Soda and I stay here alone?" But he already knew the answer. Suddenly he felt weak, like his legs couldn't bear him, and he sat down on the floor. Two-Bit sat down beside him, and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Pony. I'm sure your dad'll get out from the cooler in no time." Pony shook his head. Soda still sat in the recliner, staring at the papers in his hands.

"I hate him," he said with effort. Darry winced, but then realized his brother meant their dad and not him. He already nearly hated himself for even thinking of leaving his brothers if things would turn bad, and no doubt they would too.

"Don't say that, Soda. He's still our dad."

"Yeah?" Soda's eyes burned with anger. "He could've thought about us before he did somethin' this stupid! I mean, come on! Drug dealing? That's bullshit, man!"

"Calm down, Soda!"

Soda threw the papers on the table and leaned backwards. He turned his head and looked at Ponyboy, who looked devastated and just stared in front of him.

"Pony?" he said, and his brother raised his gaze and met his.

"I'm fine," he answered slowly. He wiped his face with his hands. "Can we go to the lake now? I don't wanna be here." He had to get away. Now. The space was to small.

"The lake? Pony..." Darry started, but was interrupted by Two-Bit.

"I can take the kid to the lake." He stood up. "Come on, kiddo. Let's pick up Johnny and Dally and get to swim and cool of."

Pony gave his brothers a questioning look, and Darry nodded.

"It's okay. You can go too, Soda, if you like."

But Soda shook his head. "No, I'll stay."

When their brother and Two-Bit had left, Soda stared at Darry.

"So you would do it?" he said and managed to hide all emotions from his voice. Darry knew what he meant. Damn, he knew it. Would he leave? Go back to Oklahoma City, let the state take his brothers and put them god-knows-where? He had no answer. Everything was happening so fast, and he felt ashamed, because when the social worker mentioned custody court when he gasped at the word 'Boys home', the first thing he thought about was college. College. Not his brothers. And Soda knew he wanted to go back. Every day since he had come home to visit and found out what was happening here, he had longing for the day he could go back again. He wasn't prepared for this. He looked around in the living room, the house he had been raised in. The house he once had left to survive in the world alone, without his parents. Break free. But they had been there, when the assignments was hard in school or when he won a game in fotball, they where always only a phone call away. Until the accident. And now he had no one to share his thoughts with. He had wanted to grow up, be an adult, but not this way. Not so fast.

"No," he said. "No, I wouldn't let them take you away." That was the only thing he could do, the only right answer, and Soda finally smiled at him. It was weak, but it was there.

"Ya sure?"

"Of course I am." There was no other option.

XXX

"Curtis? Visitor." The guard unlocked the cell door and he got up on his feets. He was a bit confused. He had never been in jail before, and visitors twice a day didn't sound right. But what would he know?

He was taken to a small room with a table and two chairs, one occupied by a man in a suit and a briefcase in his knee. He told him to sit down, so he did. The guard turned to the other man and clinked with his keys.

"Okay?"

"Yes."

The guard left and locked the door behind him, and the man laid his briefcase on the table.

"Mr. Curtis? I'm Mr. Manning, select by the state to be your defender."

"Oh." They shook hands.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Mr. Manning took out some papers and a pen, and pushed his glasses higher up on his nose.

"Yeah, well... I got fired. And I've boys to take care of." Mr. Curtis cleared his throat. "So I was offered this... job. And I took it."

"Who offered you the job?"

All he got was a glare. Mr. Manning sighed. Sometimes he hated this work. He wished he had been better at it, so he could defend the rich ones instead, make some good money. Get a house with a pool. A fancier car. Instead he worked for the state and was allocated his cases. But this could be a good one, if he was lucky. If only his client would cooperate.

"Listen to me, Mr. Curtis. You're in a gold position here..."

Mr. Curtis interrupted him with a laugh.

"Gold position? I wouldn't call it that."

"If you'll let me explain. Do you know why the cops was there last night when they arrested you? Because they have their eyes on the drug scene in that area. They want names. The big names. Testimony. Give them that, and I can almost guarantee you that you'll slip away with only a couple of months."

"And if I don't?"

"Then we speak years."

Mr. Curtis buried his face in his palms. He should have known. But hell, every desicion he had made since Anne died had been the wrong one, why should this be right? Or easy? Nothing was easy anymore. God, he needed a beer. Two. Make it ten.

"I'll think about it."

"Do that. Meanwhile you will be transported to the Oklahoma state prison until your trial. You haven't change your mind about the bail?"

"No. No bail."

XXX

Dally cursed under the big tree. The shade from it wasn't enough to make him any cooler, and the mosquitoes seemed to be after all his blood. He had itchy spots all over his arms.

"I can't believe you got me into this." He smacked one of the little bastards from his right wrist.

"Aw, let the kids have some fun," Two-Bit said and handed him a beer. Pony and Johnny was in the water, swimming around and jumped from the cliffs, but Two-Bit noticed the lack of laughter. But he guessed there wasn't much to laugh about this day.

"Pony's ol' man got arrested last night," he told the blonde boy. He didn't knew if he would be surprised or not when Dally didn't reacted. He just lit a cigarette.

"Yeah, I heard."

"It ain't their lucky year." Two-Bit snatched the pack of cigarettes from Dally. "Who told you?" Dally just gave him a stern look.

"Who do you think told me? Tim." He glared at the bright sun. "When the hell do we leave? This fuckin' heat..." He swept his beer and grabbed another one from the cool bag.

"It ain't better anywhere else. Maybe at the North pole." Two-Bit hesitated. "So Tim knows? How? His gang ain't involved in this are they?"

"No, hell no. One of his boys saw it, is all."

"So ya know where...?"

"Yup. Some blocks away from the Brumly gangs territory. They ain't so happy about the fuzz bein' so close to their backyard. Can't blame 'em"

"Brumly boys, huh?" Two-Bit took a sip of his beer. "Remember that day me and Pony tailed his dad?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that wasn't even close to that area."

"So?"

"Nothin'. Just thinkin'." Two-Bit looked out over the lake. Pony never told him about what had happened that day, but he guessed that he had told Soda. Of course he had told Soda. And now he suspected the kid was damn lucky that nothing, at least what he knew, serious had happened at that house. Drugs. Who would have thought Mr. Curtis would even touch that shit?

XXX

Soda walked to the DX after his conversation with Darry. He felt weird, not the same anymore. He felt like he and Pony was about to ruin Darry's life. Of course, this wasn't their fault, but still. He was so afraid that he and his brother would end up in a boys home that he rather destroyed his big brother's life than go there. He felt lousy. But it's more for Pony's sake than for me, he tried to comfort himself with. Pony had a lot more years to go before he was an adult and could manage himself.

Suddenly his heart start to throb faster. Sandy. She and Evie stood outside the workshop, talking to Steve. Soda stopped. He hadn't talked to her since he abandoned her at the Nightly Double. He had thought of call her, but then a lot of other stuff had happened. And Scott had happened. Evie laughed at something Steve said, and Soda could see Sandy smile even if he stood on the other side of the street. He braced himself and walked over to them. Steve saw him first.

"Soda!" he said and looked a bit uneasy.

"Hey," Soda said. To his disappointment Sandy's smile disappeared and she looked almost annoyed that he was there.

"Steve, we've to go," Evie said after a quick glance at Soda's direction.

"Sure, okay. See you tomorrow?"

"Of course." She giggled and put her hand under Sandy's arm, but before they had time to go, Soda stepped forward.

"Wait... Sandy, can we talk?"

"About what?" She sounded bored.

"Please?"

Sandy looked at Evie, then dragged her arm out from Evie's grip.

"Okay."

They walked away a bit and stood in silence. Sandy raised her eyebrows.

"Well?" she said, impatiently. Soda sighed.

"I just... wanted to apologize again. And I wonder... you wanna go out sometime? Like we used to do?"

She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Soda... it's over between us. I'm seing someone else." Even if he already knew it, it hurt to hear her say it.

"Scott?" he blurted a bit agressive, and then blushed.

"Yes, Scott. And I have to go now." She turned around and walked back to Evie, and he did nothing to stop her. Then the two girls start walking away down the street. Soda still stared after them when Steve got to him.

"Hey?" he said. "You all right?"

"Yeah." He wasn't, but he was too tired to talk about Sandy. He wished he hadn't seen her at all this day. Not today of all days.

"Somethin's happened, Steve," he said, and told his friend everything about his dad.

XXX

Oklahoma state prison laid on the countryside somewhere between Tulsa and Oklahoma city. It was several grey buildings inside of a three rows fence with barbed wires on top. More guard towers and cameras than Mr. Curtis could count. He shook when he stepped out from the bus. He didn't knew if he was scared, or if it was because of abstinence, he hadn't had a drink since hours before he got arrested. It felt unreal, like a dream, or rather a nightmare, when he followed the orders the guard gave him and the other new prisoners. They had to walk in a line, leave their personal belongings, he hadn't any, in paperbags, and then one guard gave them a bunch of clothes. A gray uniform. Someone shouted the rules, but he barely listen. It was about wake up hour, when to eat, when to sleep. Forbidden things and punishments. Visiting hours. What to work with. But he shouldn't work yet. Only if he was found guilty in the trial next week.

He already knew that would happen. He was guilty. The only thing the trial would get him, was time. Or rather, how much time they would take away from him. Right now he didn't even cared. His life hadn't stopped now, it had stopped months ago, when that driver came over on the wrong side of the lane. It had been an older woman, who had died instantly in the crash. He wished it had been a man, a man who had survived, so he could punish him for what he had done. He wondered if he had killed him if he had had the opportunity. But now there were no one to blame, to punish, to kill, to hate. A murderer that slipped away because of death.

"In line!"

He followed the stream into another room where they showered and changed clothes. New paperbags for their old clothes. When they all had got dressed it felt like everyone was a copy of another. One of the guards showed up a genuine smile, but the others looked at the prisoners like they were... animals.

Mr. Curtis and the other newcomers were seperated, small groups led in different directions. He saw a sign over the door his group went through, BLOCK A. His home for the week. And after the trial, maybe for years. A cell door clang open, and he hesitated for a moment, but a push, he didn't feel it it was gentle or not, made him take a step forward. The cell was empty except from a bunk bed and a toilet in the corner. A man laid in the top bed, glancing at him. The guard closed the door again and locked it, and walked away. The man in the bed, short and thin, jumped down on the floor.

"Curtis?" he asked with a smile.

Mr. Curtis nodded, uncertain of the situation.

"Finally," the man said, and what happened next went so fast that Mr. Curtis didn't had the time to react. He never saw it, but he felt it, and his only thought was the question about how someone could have a knife inside of a prison, wasn't the security higher than this? Everything went white and he fell to the floor, and the colors shifted into darkness.

XXX

On the evening everyone in the gang had gathered in the living room at the Curtis house. Soda had stayed at the DX until Steve's shift was over, and they came into the house some hours after the others. Pony sat in the couch with his head leaned backwards and his eyes closed. Darry had told him he would try for the custody if their dad was found guilty, and the relieve he first felt turned into a fear that Darry would lose.

Steve took a deck from his pocket and start shuffle the cards.

"Who's in?" he asked, and looked up when no one answered. "Soda?"

"Sure."

"Me too," Two-Bit said and leaned forward. Steve dealt the cards and the game was on. Darry came out from the kitchen, and in the same time the phone rang. First he just stared at it. He had a feeling this wasn't good.

"Shouldn't you pick it up?" Soda asked and looked up from his cards.

"Yeah." He reached for the receiver and Pony opened up his eyes. "Hello?" They saw Darry turn pale and both Soda and Pony got up on their feets. "Is... is he alright?...Okay...Thanks." He hung up and Soda walked to him and grabbed his arm.

"What is it now?" he said, eager to know.

"Dad was stabbed in prison," Darry said and dragged a hand through his hair. "But he's alright, it wasn't that serious," he hurried to say when he saw everybodys faces. "They'll keep him isolated to the trial now." The room was silent for a while, then Soda found his voice again.

"You mean..."

"They don't know if it has something to do with his crime or not, they just play it safe."

Pony sat down, shocked for the second time that day. He remembered Ed and his threat to him, that he would kill him if he told anyone about the house. And he didn't even knew anything more than that his dad had gone there that day. He was sure it was Ed who had arranged this for his dad, trying to kill him so he couldn't tell anything. And by the look in Soda's face, Soda thought so too. But they didn't wanted to scare Darry, and besides, now the guards knew they had to watch out for his dad. He would survive this. He had to. They couldn't lose him too.

XXX

It was late at night and Pony had finally fallen asleep. The gang had left somewhere around midnight, and then Darry told his brothers they had to sleep, all of them, but Pony had laid awake and stared at the ceiling while his thoughts whirled around in his head. It was only four days to his birthday now, and he hoped he could deal with all this better when he was fourteen instead of thirteen. But of course, it was just numbers. Nothing could change everything that had happened. He twirled in his bed. His window was almost wide open, but since it was calm outside it still felt like an oven in his room. He slept in his underwear, with no sheet at all.

He had only slept for half an hour when something woke him up. He yawned and rested himself on his elbows before he turned around and laid on his back. Suddenly he stiffened. The low noise wasn't from outside, someone was in his room.

"Soda?" he whispered, but the shadow was to big to be his brother. A familiar face came closer, a mouth smiled.

"Try again, boy!" Ed said.

* * *

><p>Sorry for fact mistakes in this chapter, just overlook them. I don't know how things works in prison.<p>

I have to admit, I have a bad habit. I'm impatient :( When I want something, I want it now, or yesterday.) So - this chapter hasn't been beta-read yet, but it itches in me to post in anyway. So here it goes. I will replace it/correct grammar later.

Please review. You already know that I REALLY appreciate it.


	18. The message

**Chapter Eighteen - _The message_**

Ponyboy closed his eyes, hoping it was just a nightmare, but when he opened them again some seconds later, the face was still there. Ed scowled.

"Don't even think of screamin', boy," he whispered in an odd, almost friendly voice. But his eyes wasn't friendly. Another sound to his right made Pony turn his head, and there stood the bald guy. He tossed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from his closet on him. Pony stared at them.

"Get dressed!" Ed ordered.

Pony shook his head, not to disobey them, only to try to understand what was happening, what they wanted. He had never been so scared in his whole life. His heart raced and he felt cold even in the heat of the room. Ed gave him a quick slap, impatient, and he winced.

"Come on, boy, hurry up will ya? You don't want to wake up your brother." That was then Pony saw the gun in his hand, and his eyes widened. Quickly he dragged the t-shirt over his head, and then fumbled with his jeans with shaky hands. He had to stand up on the floor to zip them, and when he was done Ed gripped him by his collar.

"Let's go."

"W...wait," Pony stammed. "I... I don't wanna..."

Ed shoved the gun up under his nose, and Pony trembled even worse.

"Do I look like I care?" he said, and Pony gave him a weak "No."

The house was dark and silent. When they got out into the hallway Pony saw the doors to his brothers bedrooms, Soda's a bit open. He almost never closed it completely. Was he asleep? Did he hear something? Pony could just hope he didn't. Even if a part of him, the bigger part, wished that his brothers would wake up and save him, he was terrified they would do that. Terrified about what the men would do to them. And unfortunately he got the answer when they had made their way to the front door and the bald guy laid his hand on the door knob. Suddenly they heard another door open, and Darry came walking into the living room.

"Ponyboy? I heard someth..." He stopped in his steps, looking confused. Ed stared at him, and for a second he thought it was Mr. Curtis who stood there. In the dark they were bewildered alike, but then he saw that this boy was younger, around twenty perhaps. It had to be his oldest son, and Ed smirked. Mr. Curtis had never mentioned this son, only the two with funny names.

"Call the fuzz and he's dead," Ed said to Darry while nodding at Pony's direction, and Darry finally took in the whole scene, the two men, a scared, barefoot Ponyboy, a gun pointed at himself. He swallowed, meeting Pony's eyes. He took a step forward.

"Why..." was all he had time to say before the gun went off and he stumbled backwards. He reached out one hand to the wall to support himself, but a burning feeling made his knees knuckle under him, and he was on the floor, hearing a scream from Ponyboy.

XXX

"You... you killed him, you..." The bald guy held him by a hard grip on his upper arm and dragged him through the door, to the porch, down the stairs and over the front yard to the car on the driveway. Pony cried but felt to weak to struggle. The only thing he could think of was Darry, falling to the floor, and the panic he felt for losing him. This wasn't happening. It wasn't. This was just a dream. It just couldn't be real...

"Get in!" He opened the car door, and Pony tried to jerk away.

"No..."

But of course, he had no chance. The door closed behind him, and he stared at his house, which still was all dark. Ed sat behind the wheel, and the tires screamed against the street when he pushed the gas pedal. Pony had a big lump in his throat and couldn't stop shaking. Darry... suddenly the sorrow went to rage, and he felt furious. He looked at the bald guy beside him, watched his empty hands and then threw himself at him, trying to punch him.

"What the hell..."

"Let me go! He didn't had to shoot him, why did he..." Pony shouted, but had only time for one hit before he found himself catched by his wrists. The man held a tight grip, and it hurt when he tried to get away.

"Shut up!"

Ed threw a glance in the back mirror.

"Gregory," he warned, "make the kid calm down."

Gregory twirled and pushed Pony down on the seat again. He let go of one of Pony's arms, just to plant his fist in the young boy's stomach. Pony gasped for air.

"Just sit still and I don't have to hurt you," Gregory told him. He dropped the other arm too, and Pony buried his face in his palms. _Breathe_, he told himself. _Don't forget to breathe._ After the car had taken a few turnes, he managed to look up again. He had to see where they went, if he somehow could contact his brothers later. _Darry's alive. He has to be!_

His hope raised a bit when he recognized the street they were driving on. It was here his dad had gone that day he and Two-Bit had followed him. If they took him to the house, Two-Bit would know where he was. But the car didn't stop, and Ed laughed at him when he drove by.

"We ain't stupid, boy," he said. In silence they drove a few blocks more, and Pony watched the streets gets more and more depressed. Finally the car stopped, outside a four floor apartment building. No one seemed to live there, but when Pony stepped out of the car he was dragged to it. He stumbled over bricks on the curb, and the door sat loose on its hinges. It wasn't better inside, trash, cigarette butts and empty bottles laid all over the place. The elevator had a big sign with red letters on, _Broken_, and in a corner sat an obvious homeless man surrounded by plastic bags. His gaze met Pony's eyes. _Please, help me_, Pony tried to beg without words, but the man either didn't noticed or didn't cared. Ed and Gregory didn't stopped, and they start walking up the stairs with Pony between them. He tried to walk slow, but only got pushed in his back, and when he had nearly fallen twice, he gave up his efforts to... what? Delay them? Darry and Soda wouldn't come even if it took them some seconds more to climb up the stairs. Finally they where on the fourth floor, and Ed opened the door to one of the apartments. It hadn't many furnitures, but Pony hadn't the time to see anything before he was taken to an empty room, small enough to be one of the bedrooms.

"Sit." Ed pointed at the corner far away from the windows, and Pony obeyed. He dragged his knees up to his chin and embraced himself with his arms. Gregory came with a chair, and Ed sat down on it.

"Tie him," he said, and Pony bit his lip. It was no use to struggle when Gregory forced his arms back and tied him by his wrists. Then he tied his ankles too. When he was done, Pony leaned himself against the wall and let out a sob.

"Don't worry, boy, we ain't gonna hurt you," Ed said and lit a cigarette. Pony stared at the gun that laid in his lap.

"Why did you shot my brother?" he whispered. He hated the fact that he couldn't wipe away his tears, that they could see him cry. "You didn't had to..."

But Ed only grinned, and Pony looked down on his feets. He had no socks, no shoes, and his feets was bruised and cut. He hadn't even noticed he had hurt them on the way from the car. Even if he could get away from the ropes, the men and the gun, he would have to run barefoot. It was hopeless.

_Don't panic_. _Don't._

XXX

He had been lucky, the doctor told him. The knife had missed all important organs, and even if the bleeding had been bad, it was never any danger for his life. He had got blood, and he would feel weak for a while, but then he would be as new. In fit for the trial. Mr. Curtis sighed. He wasn't stupid, he knew who had done this. Not the man that held the knife, but who had ordered him to do it. Ed. Or perhaps the guy in top of him. But he didn't knew if they actually had tried to kill him, or if this only was a messege to keep his mouth shut during the trial. To take all the blame himself. Apparently it must have been a messege, or he had been dead already. They wouldn't do a mistake like this if they had want to bury him. He shifted in bed and bite his teeth when his side stung.

A young male nurse came in and checked his vitals, the IV in his hand, his temperature.

"You're fine," he told him. "Want some breakfast?"

Mr. Curtis nodded, and the nurse raised the head side of the bed.

"I'll be right back." Right back appeared to be an hour, and the nurse begged him sorry.

"Oh, and I got a messege from your friend," he said when he had placed a tray on the table beside the bed. Coffe and a plate of porridge stood on it. Mr. Curtis frowned. He had no friends inside this prison. Had anyone called? But why would the nurse...?

"Old Al," the nurse continued when he saw the questioning look in the patients eyes. "He's been in here forever, and first I thought it was a bit strange he said he knew you, since you're new and all."

Mr. Curtis had never heard of an 'Old Al' before.

"Yes... I know him... at least... a little," he lied.

"He told me to tell you his cousin would check on your sons like you had asked him to."

His cousin?

"What... what was the name of this cousin?"

The nurse shook his head.

"He didn't told me, but he said he would take care of them until your trial."

_Damn!_ His heart raced.

"I need a phone! Please, I've to call..."

"I'm sorry, you've to wait. The doctor will check on you after breakfast, and then we can see what we can do."

"No, I..." But the nurse left the room, and the only thing he could do was to lean back and hope it wasn't to late.

XXX

His arms hurt from the unnatural position. His whole body ached, and he had only been here for... he had no idea how long. But according to the faint light outside the window it had only been some hours, even if it felt like days. He tried so shift his seat, but with his legs tied, it was almost impossible. Ed and Gregory had left him alone, but they were still there, somewhere in the apartment. He could hear them talk even if he didn't heard the words, and he shivered. He was sad, tired, scared... he felt miserable. And he had another problem too, he really needed to go to the bathroom. But he was to afraid to shout. He didn't even know why they had taken him. What they would do. They had said they wouldn't hurt him, at least not more than they already had done. He thought of Darry again. He had seen him get hit. But how hurt was he? Pony refused to believe he was dead. At first it had looked like it, when he collapsed, but he just couldn't... he tried to blink the tears away. He couldn't be dead.

A shadow fell on the floor, and he looked up. Gregory stood in the doorway with a beer in his hand.

"Hungry?" he asked. Pony shook his head, and then he had to ask.

"Um... bathroom?" he almost whispered. The man rolled his eyes, but put the beer down on the floor and walked over to him.

"Don't try anythin'," he said and untied the ropes. When he was done Pony tried to stand, but it was hard. It felt like his legs and arms was on fire. Gregory sighed.

"Come on, boy, I ain't got the whole day." Gregory dragged him to his feets, and Pony stumbled when he followed him.

"Why's he untied?" Ed asked when they got out to the living room. Gregory pointed at the bathroom. For some reason Pony was allowed to walk the last steps by himself, and he thought about running. He was closer to the front door than the men was. But he was still stiff and sore, and he really had to go, and they had a gun... and they would probably catch him before he even reached the stairs. So he took away his gaze from the door and locked himself inside the bathroom. It had no windows. No escape. He did what he needed to, and then drank some water from the faucet. There was a mirror over the sink, but he almost didn't recognized the boy who was reflected in it. He looked so young and scared. His hair fell in his face, and he stroke it away, meeting his own eyes. He was a stranger.

When he opened the door again Ed stood just outside it. He gripped his arm and took him back to the room, and the corner, and the ropes. Ed pushed him down.

"You... you don't have to, I mean, I won't run... I promise," Pony tried, but got only a chuckle from Ed while he tightened the knots.

"Yeah, right, and I'm aunt Julie," Gregory said ironically from the doorway. Pony looked down. When Ed was finished he patted Pony on his shoulder.

"This ain't our fault, boy," he told him. "If that stupid Toby had done his job you hadn't been here."

"I don't know why he got the job in the first place," Gregory muttered.

"Unfortunately he was the only one the boss could get close enough," Ed said and spat on the floor. Then he looked at Pony. "I guess you've heard about your ol' man." He seemed to wait for an answer, so Pony nodded.

"You see, he should be dead," Ed continued. "But that stupid fucker failed, so here we are." He start pace back and forth in the room. "You see, you're our insurance, boy. We can't get your dad now, but we've got you instead."

Pony swallowed and got pale.

"You gonna kill me?" he whispered, but that made both the men laugh.

"No, boy... we need you. As long as we got you, your dad'll keep his mouth shut during the trial. He's got the message. Let's hope he's smart."

Pony tried to think. He had no idea when the trial should be, Darry... Darry hadn't mentioned it.

"So... um... when..." he said, but didn't managed to continue.

"A week from now," Ed said. "So you'll be our guest until then."

Pony tried hard not to cry, but he failed.

XXX

He was tired. It was almost the middle of the day, and the room was warmer than his own bedroom. Gregory had dragged in a matress in the room, and had been nice enough to tie his hands in front of him instead of behind him. But he couldn't sleep. When he closed his eyes he saw Darry falling, and one time, when he almost had fallen asleep, he jerked up from a nightmare almost instant. A week. They would keep him here during his birthday, too. Not that he cared. It was hopeless. They could talk about not killing him, but he was sure they wouldn't let him go. After the trial, when his dad had got his punishment, how could they dare to release him? They couldn't trust he shouldn't go straight to the cops and tell them everything. And he would. They had hurt his dad. They had... they hadn't, _hadn't_ killed Darry, he was alive, and they had hurt him too. And if he didn't went to the police, Soda would do. Maybe he already had. Pony hoped not, the threat to Darry in his memory. _Call the fuzz and he's dead._ But then they shot him. What if Soda never got the message and... Pony wiped his tears and turned around so he laid on his back. The ceiling was cracked. He raised his hands and looked at them. They where tied tight together with a small, white rope around his wrists. He glanced out through the door, and saw that the TV was on. Gregory probably sat in the couch, looking at it. He knew Ed was gone somewhere. When he was sure no one looked at him, he tried to untie the knot with his teeth. But after a while he found it hopeless. Instead, he sat up and tried the ropes around his ankles. That was easier, but still hard. He concentrated so much he didn't heard someone coming, until a voice shouted out.

"What are you doin', boy?"

Pony jumped and looked up, terrified. Ed stood in the doorway, looking amused with a paperbag in his hand.

"Well, I can't blame you for tryin', boy," he said and walked through the room. He sat down on his heels and watched the ropes. Pony let go of the knot he had worked with, and Ed looked at it.

"Almost, boy. Almost." He tightened the knot again, and then looked more serious. "Try somethin' like that one more time, and you'll have your hands tied behind your back again," he said. He showed the bag.

"A hamburger. Eat it." He picked it up and Pony took it, but he wasn't so hungry. But he knew he had to eat. He had to try to stay strong, if he would get the opportunity to escape.

* * *

><p>Thanks for your reviews!<p>

There is some problem, I don't receive the documents from my beta for some reason. They are sent to me, but isn't there. I have no idea why. So this chapter isn't beta-read either, sorry.


	19. Empty house

**Chapter Nineteen - _Empty house_**

He dreamed of Sandy when something woke him up, and he bolted straight up in bed, letting the dream slip away with every breath. He tried to listen, but everything was silent now. He wasn't sure if it had been a real sound he had heard, or some crazy part of his dream. He wiped the sweat from his forhead and turned to his window, which stood wide open, and peered out, but he couldn't see anything. The neighbour's house was dark, and everything was still, so apparently it wasn't from outside anyway. He frowned. It had sounded almost like a gunshot, but that couldn't be true, could it, and a scream. A scream from Ponyboy... maybe he had another nightmare, like the one he had after the incident with Ed. He swung his legs over the bedside and walked out in the hallway, heading for Pony's room. But when he had taken a few steps he spotted a big hunch which laid on the floor just inside the living room. Soda sqeezed his eyes, still not used to the darkness.

"Darry?" he asked, uncertain. Something was wrong, and suddenly he was wide awake and rushed to his brother's side. "Darry, what happened?" He could perceive some color on Darry's white t-shirt. It looked black in the dark, like an oil stain, but how could his brother get that stuff on him? Darry groaned, and sat up.

"Pony..." he said and clutched his side with one hand while wavering at the front door with the other. "They got him!"

"What? What are you talking about, what the hell happened, Darry?" The dirt on Darry's t-shirt felt sticky under his fingers, a familiar feeling that made Soda shudder. "Is that _blood_?" Suddenly he remembered the bang and the scream. "Darry!" He almost shook him and Darry pushed his hands away.

"Two guys... I don't know... they shot me," Darry said and tried to stand up, but Soda held him down. "Soda, I'm fine, get Pony! But watch it!"

"Shot you? What..."

"Soda, hurry! Outside, Ponyboy!" He wasn't sure why he send Soda after them. Christ, they had a gun! But he was to dizzy to make a wise desicion, and all he could think of right now was Pony's scared gaze and his own pain. He looked down at his side, the torn shirt and the blood. He needed to press something at it.

Soda hesitated just for a moment after Darry's words, but then got up and rushed to the door and out. It was almost warmer outside than inside, and the air covered his body like a quilt. He could see better here than inside because of the street lights, but he wasn't sure of what he was looking for. Ponyboy... What had Darry said? _They got him. _They? He stared around. The yard was empty. The street was empty.

"Ponyboy?" he shouted, but got no answer. He ran from the porch and looked in all directions, but he couldn't see anybody. "Pony!" Nothing. He had to get back to Darry. He ran inside again and returned to Darry's side.

"I couldn't see anything...Darry, you need an ambulance," he said, terrified.

"No, I don't." Darry had taken off his t-shirt and now held it against the right side of his stomach. He lifted it, but Soda couldn't see anything. He stood up and turned on the lamp, and then fast down again, to look at the wounds. The bullet had hit close to Darry's side, and got out on the other side. It was a couple of inches between the two holes. Soda met Darry's eyes while he helped him press down the t-shirt again.

"Damn, Darry, you're bleedin'! And Pony?" he asked worried. "Where is he?"

"I don't know. They took him..." he clenched his teeth. "I don't know."

Soda paled.

"Two men... " Darry continued. "Don't think I've seen them before, but..."

Soda got a bad feeling, and a thought formed in his head. What if...

"Who? How'd they looked like? One blonde, one bald? Answer, Darry!" Darry shook his head.

"Maybe... yeah, I think so." The he realized something. "Wait Soda, what do you know?" Soda let out a sob, and then quickly told Darry everything. About the two men, their dad's friends, how they had come to the house when no one was home, the threat to Pony when he had been with Two-Bit. The name of his friend made him rush to the phone, leaving a stunned Darry on the floor.

"I've to call Two-Bit! He was with Pony that day!" He dialed the number, but when he had heard fifteen signals and no one had picked it up, he slammed the receiver down again. "Damn!"

"Soda, why didn't you told me about this?" Darry accused him. "You should have, so I could protect you!"

"Yeah, against a gun?" Soda snapped. "Besides, you wasn't even here when they used to be." He stroke his hair away, wide-eyed and bewildered. "What are we gonna do?" He sounded desperate. Darry tried to think.

"Try to find Two-Bit." He looked down on his wound. It hurt like hell. Soda kneeled down beside him again. What ever happened to Pony, he had to take care of Darry first. He helped him to the couch. But his thoughts was with his kid brother when he got the First Aid-bag from the bathroom. What could they do? How could they find him? Ed and the other guy, Soda was sure it was them, could have taken him anywhere, Tulsa was a big city. Hell, they could even take him outside the city. He unzipped the bag and then start to clean his brother's wounds. Darry held his breath the whole time, and managed not to scream, even if he wanted to. The alcohol Soda poured on him stung like fire. But Soda was worried.

"You need a doctor. No argues," he added when Darry seemed to protest. He went to the bedrooms to find clothes for them, and then found his shoes halfways under the coffe table.

"I'll drive you to the hospital, and then I'm gonna get Two-Bit," Soda said, and then hesitated. It was a long shot that Two-Bit maybe knew something, but they had to try whatever they could. "Maybe we should call Steve, but his ol' man would went crazy if we wake him up..."

"It's nothing any of us can do about Pony anyway," Darry said with a toneless voice. "Until we've talked to Two-Bit."

"The fuzz..." Soda started, but a glare from Darry made his voice trail off.

"No. Don't even think about it. They said they would kill him if we called the cops. We've to find him ourselves."

XXX

When he had dropped Darry off at the hospital and made sure he was taking care of, Soda drove Darry's plymouth to Two-Bit's house. Both his and his mom's car stood on the driveway, so Soda parked on the curb, and then went through the gate and around the house to Two-Bit's window. He thanked the warm weather for the first time this summer, because his friend had done what everybody did, left his window open. Soda grabbed the windowsill and climbed in. He landed in a mess of things, and stumbled through the room to Two-Bit's bed. The older boy laid on his stomach, and Soda shook his shoulder.

"Two-Bit!" he whispered in his ear. The older boy jerked up from his sleep.

"Wha... geez, Soda, what the hell?" He blinked a few times with a confused look, but his face changed into worry when Soda start crying. He frowned. "Soda?"

"It's Pony..." Soda wiped his eyes. "Someone got him."

"Got him? What are you talkin' about?" He glanced around the room. "Gimme my underwear." Under normal circumstances Soda had told him to get them himself, but now he rummaged through the room and found some clothes that didn't looked to dirty and gave them to his friend.

"I don't know, Two-Bit. They shot Darry and took Pony." Two-Bit's jaw dropped.

"You kiddin' me, right?"

"No, darn, Two-Bit, I wish I had... " Damn those tears. "Darry's fine but Pony's missin' and you need to tell me where the fuckin' house is!"

"What house?" Two-Bit hurried to pull up his jeans and snatch his shoes before following Soda out from his room and through the house. While he dragged the t-shirt over his head, Soda rushed through the front door, heading for the car.

"When you tailed my dad. They threat to kill him and now they got him!" They where out on the street now, and Two-Bit reached forward and grabbed Soda's arm to make him stand still.

"Stop!" he commanded. "Who threat who to kill who?"

"Just get in the car and I'll tell ya on the way." They jumped in the car and Soda told everything he knew while Two-Bit pointed out directions. At first he knew the way exactly, but then he got insecure. They had got to a cross road, luckily with no car behind them. It was to early in the morning for too much traffic.

"Right or left?"

"Geez, I'm tryin', Soda..." Two-Bit was still a bit pale after Soda's story about the two men. He looked out through the window and tried to remember how they had driven that day. He remembered the street, he had seen it enough when he had searched for Pony, the problem was how they had got there. He stroke his eyes. "Left!" he said, and hoped it was the right way. He hadn't payed much attention to the roads then, only to Mr. Curtis car.

"So he said he would kill him?" Two-Bit said, and Soda clenched his teeth while turning the wheel.

"Yeah. That time." He threw a glance at Two-Bit. "But Pony didn't told anyone but me about it, and he never showed me the place, so I don't know why they have taken him. It's not like he called the fuzz on them."

"Maybe they thought he did? I mean, your dad's got arrested and all." The houses on both sides was unfamiliar. "Turn around and try right."

Soda hit the brakes, backed the car into a side street and drove back the way they had come.

"I have no idea. Maybe. All I know is that we must find him. I don't care about why. I only care about _where_!" His hands grip the wheel so tight that his knuckles went white. Two-Bit wanted to tell him not to worry, but heck, he was worried himself. This was just something that wasn't supposed to happen. And even if he really wanted to help, he felt like Soda trusted him way to much right now. He didn't knew anything, hell, he couldn't even find that place again. Then something came up in his mind.

"Maybe Dally..."

"What?"

"When we where by the lake yesterday. He talked about one of Tim's boys and the Brumly gang."

"What?" Soda repeated.

"Somethin' about where your dad got arrested, near the Brumly's turf."

"So?" Soda didn't get it.

"Just sayin' they maybe know somethin'." He wasn't sure why he thought that. It was still closer to dark than light outside, but suddenly he recognized the view. "Hey, there it is!"

Soda parked the car in the middle of the street and rushed out, with Two-Bit close after. This time the door was unlocked, and even before they had checked every room on every floor, they knew the house would be empty.

XXX

"Soda, you'll stay here."

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do." Steve took a grip on his friends arm and dragged him to the couch. "Sit down and let Dally and Two-Bit talk to them."

"It's my brother!"

"Yeah, and what if he'll manage to call home or somethin'?"

Soda shook his head and buried his face in his palms, while Steve sat down beside him and waved at Dally and Two-Bit to go. They snuck out through the door the same time Johnny stepped inside. He gave Soda an uncertain look and placed himself in the recliner. He wasn't sure what was going on, since all Two-Bit had done was calling everyone in the gang as soon as the sun had rised and told them the most important - Darry was shot but fine, Pony was missing. Taken. Both Steve and Soda was supposed to work today, so was Darry, but of course, no one of them would show up at their jobs today. Johnny bit on one of his fingernails, then remembered it was a bad habit Pony used to do, and his hand dropped down in his knee. He met Steve's eyes, and cleared his throat.

"How's Darry?" he asked. What he really wanted to ask what how it was with Pony, but he knew there was no answers to that question. Steve glanced at Soda, who still sat silent.

"Good, I guess. He hasn't called yet."

"I saw them... once," Johnny said. "They just stomped into the house when me and Pony was here. He was scared of them." Soda made a noise, and Johnny blushed. "Sorry, Soda... I shouldn't have said that."

The phone rang and Soda jerked up his head, and before Steve had the time to react he was by it and answered.

"Pone?... Oh, hey dad..." His face changed and he looked like he bit in a lemon. "What?... that's to late, dad... yeah! Shut up and... shut up and listen!... it's Pony, okay, they got him... Darry's been shot...no, he ain't dead, I have told you if he were...we do what we can, just tell us about places... what?...okay...bye... yeah, I'll try... bye." He hung up. "Shit!"

Steve went to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"What did he say?"

Soda was pale.

"They failed to kill him so he wouldn't rat, so they took Pony..." he rambled and met Steve's eyes. "That mean they won't kill him, right? If they have Pony so dad'll keep his mouth shut, they can't kill him!" he almost yelled.

There were only one answer on that question which could be said, that Soda wanted to hear.

"No, they won't kill him." Steve sounded sure, but he wasn't, but he had to keep Soda calm. Besides, Soda could be right. "When's the trial?"

"I don't know... next week. Darry knows."

"Okay... so we'll go to the hospital." Steve looked at Johnny. "Can you stay? If someone calls."

Johnny nodded.

XXX

They could see Darry right away. A nurse showed them to his room and told them he could be released as soon as his doctor had checked on him one more time. He laid in a hospital bed, dressed in a gown and had an IV in his hand, but he looked okay, aside from the worrying look in his eyes. When Soda and Steve walked in, he propped himself up on his elbow.

"Pony?" he asked and Soda shook his head.

"Not yet. We went to that house ya know, but no one was there." He took the chair next to the bed, while Steve leaned against the wall just inside the door. "But dad called. He got a threat from someone inside the prison, that they would take care of his sons until the trial."

"What?"

"They're afraid he'll rat, so they took Pony." Soda's voice trembled. "Dar, when's the trial?"

"I got that, Soda, and the trial is in six days." Darry laid back in the bed again. Damn it! The only good thing about this was that they had six days to find Pony. But after that... Ed and the other guy hadn't had a problem with trying to kill both him and their dad, so there was nothing that say they couldn't do it to Pony either. Maybe they already had and just pretending they got him, but that would be unwise. No, he had to be alive. Then he remembered Pony's scream. What if Pony thought _he_ was dead? _Oh god, Pony..._ Soda saw something in his eyes.

"What, Darry?"

"Nothing..."

"Tell me. Damn it, Darry, if you knows something and won't tell me, I..." Darry raised his hand to silence him.

"Soda! I don't know a thing more than you do!" That wasn't a lie. Soda pressed his lips together, then sighed.

"How are you, Darry? The nurse said you can leave soon." He spoke quiet, but Darry could hear him.

"It's just a flesh wound. They took an x-ray and then just stitched it up, no big deal. Only a big bill."

"Okay." Soda looked down a minute, then up again. His eyes burned with hatred. "Their name's is Ed and Gregory. And I swear I'll kill them when we've got Pony back."

Darry looked him in his eyes.

"I'll help you."

* * *

><p>Thank you very much for your reviews! They make my day!<p> 


	20. Brumly boys

**Chapter Twenty - _Brumly boys_  
><strong>

Two-Bit and Dally went to the older greaser's house to pick up his car. Dally smoked fiercely on his cigarette and had a strange look in his face, like he would punch down anyone who dared to speak to him. But Two-Bit knew it was his way to show that he cared, with rage and hate. That was Dallas. Two-Bit shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling his priceless switchblade. It couldn't help them now. Not that he used to use a weapon, skin to skin was the usual stuff. They all could take a fight, a rumble, they could take jumps and beatings from the Socs, harsh words from the society. They could take looks from people thinking they where better than them. They were greasers and used to be on the bottom. But this was something else. This was kidnapping. And he wasn't sure how he should handle it. Darry was determined but hurt so he couldn't do much. Soda bawled a lot, which was understandable, he and Pony had always been close. And himself, geez, he just wanted to find the kid and bring him home to his brothers. And that was what he was gonna do.

Dally threw his cigarette butt and jumped in on the passenger seat. Two-Bit turned the key.

"So... Tim first?" he said, and Dally nodded. He didn't said anything while Two-Bit drove to Shepard's place.

It took a while before Curly, Tim's kid brother, opened the door when they had knocked on it. His eyes was a bit red, probably from a hangover, and he yawned.

"What'ya want?" he asked and sounded tired, revealing he had just woken up.

"Tim," Dally said, and Curly took a step aside to let them in. He slammed the door shut again and followed them into the kitchen. He rummaged through the cabinets and the fridge, and sat down at the table with a loaf of bread and a cheese. He glanced up to his brother. Tim stood leaning against the counter, dressed in only a pair of jeans. His dark hair was a mess, and an unlit cigarette dangled from his lips. When they stepped in the room he raised a lighter to it.

"Morning," he said and flipped the lighter, making the flame die down. He took a deep drag on the cigarette. "Why this early visit?"

"Ponyboy's kidnapped," Two-Bit said, and Curly looked up from making a sandwish with a surprised face. He and Pony had always been friends, in some way. Not that they used to hang out together, but they did sometimes. They had grown up in the same neighbourhood and was almost the same age, Curly only one year older.

"What?" he exclaimed.

"The youngest Curtis?" Tim said, keeping his calm, and Two-Bit nodded while he snatched a piece of bread from the table. He hadn't eaten any breakfast yet.

"His dad was arrested and we believe it was the guys he's been workin' for who has taken him. No idea why, though."

Tim sat down on a chair and thought for a while.

"You need my help?" he finally said. "What can I do for you?"

"We need to speak with Bruce," Dally said, and Tim nodded. He had expected that answer. He got up and left the kitchen, and when he came back he had dressed in a black T-shirt and greased his hair.

"Let's go."

XXX

Bruce was a fifteen year old hood, new in Tim Shepard's gang, and he hadn't much to say. He had recognized Mr. Curtis because he knew how Darry looked like, and he had seen him deliver a package to a man and then got caught by cops in civil clothes. He knew it was the fuzz, because some minutes later they had stuffed him in a cop car, he told them. He had never seen Ed or the bald guy, but maybe someone in the Brumly boys had, since it was so close to their turf it had happened. He spat on the ground and glanced at Tim for some approval of what he had told, but Tim only turned to Dally and spoke to him in a low voice, ignoring his younger gang member. Two-Bit shook hands with Bruice and returned to his car to wait for Dally. He came a couple of minutes later.

"Tim's comin'?"

"No, he had somethin' to do."

The leader of the Brumly outfit, Dean, and three other of the gang hanged out at their regular place in their turf, at a vacation lot that somehow reminded Two-Bit and Dally of their own, except this was bigger and dirtier. It was surrounded by an abandoned factory and something that looked like a junk yard, but probably was something else. Dean walked up to the car when they stepped out. He was tall and lean, with heavy greased hair and a surprisingly intelligence in his dark eyes. His boys remained in the background, smoking and talking in low voices. Now and then some of them looked up and threw a curious glance at their leader.

"What brings you this far east?" Dean asked and put his thumbs in the loopholes of his jeans. Dally gave him the short version, and he nodded thoughful.

"Yeah, I know those guys," he said. "They're nothin' but trouble."

"So what do ya know?" Two-Bit asked, and Dean lit a cigarette and blew out the smoke in a perfect smoke ring.

"They used to do their thing near St. James road, ya know. That's okay with me, no disturbing. They kept there, we kept here. But the last months they're gettin' to close to us, sending their boys only a block away from here to make business. Bringin' the fuzz and stuff. I don't like it. Not the drugs either, that's just bad shit."

"So the cops are after them?"

"They have nothin' on them. Sometimes they're takin' their errand-boys, but nah, that's just a waste of time. They have their ways to deal with it." Dean sucked on his cigarette. "The guys are smart, keepin' their own hands clean."

"Yeah, the last one arrested was the Curtis' brothers ol' man, and for some reason Ed and the other guy has taken the youngest of them, Ponyboy."

Dean raised his eyebrows.

"Taken as in kidnapped?" He cussed. "Damn." He thought for a while. "I think I know who the kid is. The little smart one, right?"

"Yeah, that's him," Two-Bit answered.

"We need to know some of their hideouts," Dally said. "Figured you maybe know some."

"Yeah, sure. I ain't helpin' the fuzz even if they would do me a favor if they caught them, but greasers help greasers, right. I'll sending my boys to look out a couple of days. They ougta find more than the stupid fuzz can." He rambled some adjectives about how he felt about the police and their work, and it wasn't any nice words.

"Thanks Dean."

"No problem."

Two-Bit scribbled down Darry's phone number on a slip and handed it to him. "We owe you. Call if you'll find somethin'."

XXX

Darry was released from the hospital in the middle of the day, and Soda and Steve went to get him. He was stiff, but the painkillers he got made him feel almost like he used to do, only more tired. On the way home Soda told him about the help they were getting from the Brumlys.

"What can we do, Darry?" he asked when he was finished. "I don't just wanna sit home."

"I don't know, Soda. Let's hope someone finds out something fast." Soda glanced at Darry. He looked pale.

"Why don't you two stick around home, and I'll take Dally and Two-Bit and search around," Steve said when Soda pulled the car up on their driveway.

"Sure. Thanks Steve," Soda said after a while. He had wanted to search himself, but he was worried about Darry, too. And when he thought about it, he wanted to be home if Pony would call or something. He really hoped he would. He wanted to make sure he was okay. Alive. He shook his head to erase the pictures of Pony, cold and pale. Not breathing. No, his brother was alive. He had known if it was otherwise. He had_ felt _it.

He supported Darry up on the porch and helped him sit down in the couch. The others in the gang was still there, and Two-Bit had somehow managed to warm up a can of soup without burning down the kitchen. Johnny had made some sandwishes, and they all ate even if no one was really hungry.

"The cops came to the hospital," Darry said. "Told them I was robbed in an alley. Stick with the story if they want to talk to you guys." They all nodded, even if no one believed the cops actually wanted to know more. Darry's lie and no signalement on the robber, plus the fact it had happened on the east side and he didn't got that hurt, could almost made them sure the fuzz would drop the case quickly. Greasers business was never high priority, especially when they were on the victim's side. Had Darry been the bad guy though, it had been otherwise. Darry remembered their dull eyes and the uninteresting way they had asked their questions. Just another greaser stupid enough to be shot, was all their body language had told. Darry had never felt any bad feelings for the police authority, but this time he understood people like Dally and Tim, who cussed everytime they saw someone in the uniform. He wondered why they even bothered to show up at the hospital, but guessed they didn't had any option.

"I can't believe this is happenin'," Soda said all suddenly. "I mean, this is just... I don't know. Unreal." He silenced, making a face. "I don't feel so good." He disappeared into the bathroom and locked the door. Steve threw a worried glance in his direction, and then looked at Darry.

"You want us to go? Go along and search with the Brumly boys?"

"Yeah, sure."

The four of them raised, and when they got to the door, Darry spoke.

"Don't forget to call." He put a hand on his bandaged side to avoid to much pain when he got up and walked to the bathroom door. He knocked on it.

"Soda?" He had to wait for the answer, but then it came, low and a bit shaky.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"No, I'm not. How could I be okay, Darry?"

Darry sighed.

"I know..."

XXX

"I'm not talkin'," Mr. Curtis said to his lawyer. Mr. Manning sat in a chair next to his bed, looking a bit annoyed. This client didn't acted like the plans. He had been sure he could win this case for the man, maybe get some good reputation. He sure needed it.

"Mr. Curtis," he started, but got interrupted.

"Like I said. It was me. Just me. I won't give any names, and I don't care if I'll get years. I'll take it." He turned his head, staring at the white wall beside him. He deserved it. Every year they wanted to give him, he deserved. Not because of his stupidity, working for these men, not even cared what kind of work it was. He had pretend for himself not to know, but of course, he knew from the beginning. But still, the punishment wouldn't be because of that. Maybe the judge would think that, and his lawyer, and everyone else. But inside, he knew why he wanted it, welcomed it. He couldn't stand to look his sons in their eyes anymore.

He didn't knew what was worse. Him drinking, yelling, beating Soda up, being mean to Ponyboy. Letting Anne down. Or the things that happened now. It was his fault. All his. They had Pony. Those bastards. He wished they had killed himself instead, that the knife had pierced his heart and not his stomach. Then everything had been over. That was all he wished for right now.

"Mr. Curtis?" Mr. Manning tried again, talking like he spoke to a kid. "As your lawyer I..."

"I want another."

"Another?"

"Another lawyer. I want someone who _listens_ to me."

"Well, I'm sorry, I..." he rambled, a bit astonished.

"Don't be sorry. Just do as I say. No names. I'll take the years."

Mr. Manning just stared at him, not believing what he had just heard. But if the man wanted to be stubborn, it wasn't much he could do about it.

XXX

The sky outside the window was darker, revealing to him it was evening. He had just woke up, and laid on his side on the matress, still tied, but he had managed to sleep during the day. He was glad for it, but now he wouldn't be able to sleep all night long, and that scared him. The apartment was almost eerie, no lamps was on and no one talked, and he struggle to sit up. Where were they? Had they left him alone? At first he didn't knew what to do. If they weren't here, maybe he could try to get away. But if they come back before he managed, if they saw what he was trying to do... he stared at the knots again, remembering what had happend when he tried to undo them. Ed hadn't been mad at him, but he was sure he would be if he discovered he had tried the same thing again. He was hungry and thirsty too, but what he wanted the most was Soda and Darry. He blinked. He wouldn't cry again. Instead he tried to move closer to the doorway. It wasn't easy with his legs and arms tied, but he managed to move forward in a strange way of crawling. He peeked out in the living room. The only thing he saw was the TV, the couch and a very old and damaged coffe table with empty beer bottles on. Otherwise the room was empty. His eyes widened a bit when he realized he actually was alone, no man could be this quiet. He had to take the chance. Before he even realized what he was doing, he tried the ropes around his ankles again. It wasn't easy with his hands tied together, but he had small, nimble fingers, and several minutes later he stared at the white ropes on the floor. His heart throbbed faster when he realized what he had done, and he stumbled up on his feets. His breaths sounded high in his ears when he snuck out in the living room and moved fast towards the front door. It was locked. And no keys. Damn. But he wasn't surprised, of course they hadn't left him if they thought he could run away. What could he do? They could be back in a minute, and he had to do something... If he could find a pen and a paper, maybe he could write a note and threw it from the window. But when he got into the kitchen he saw something even better. A phone. He stared at it for a moment, and then on the door for a second before he rushed to it. He picked up the receiver and was just about to lay it down to dial the number, when his hope sank. There was no dial tone in it.

The front door opened up and he jumped of the sound. _Damn, they're back!_

"What the..." Ed stood in the kitchen doorway, looking at him. He still held the receiver in his tied hands, and before he had time to drop it, to minimize the damage, Ed walked fast forward, gripped it and slammed it on his nose. The pain made him stumble backwards against the wall, and he felt tears in his eyes. With shaky hands he touched his nose, sure it was broken. Blood dripped from it, down on his t-shirt and the floor, and he sat down before he would faint.

"I told ya to not do a stunt like that again!" Ed muttered and took a firm grip on his t-shirt, dragging him back to the small room. With fierce he untied his ropes, only to jerk his arms behind his back and tied them again.

"We shouldn't have left him alone," Gregory said from the doorway. He picked up the rope Pony had taken from his ankles.

"He can't go anywhere," Ed said, looking at Pony who stared down at his knees and tried to ignore the fear and the throbbing pain in his face. "Did you really think the phone was workin'? Stupid boy!" He reached out his hand at Gregory, who gave him the rope he held so Ed could finish the job.

* * *

><p>I hope you're not bored yet.<p>

And I really hope I stay in character.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for your reviews!


	21. Pale faces

**Chapter Twentyone - _Pale faces_  
><strong>

"God Darry... it's two days!" Soda stood in front of him, staring with a wild gaze and his fists clenched. "We have to find him! Where the hell is he? Why don't _they_ call?" He was pale, his eyes red from crying and dark circles beneath them from the lack of sleep. Darry groaned when he sat up in the couch. He hadn't got to bed last night, instead he had fallen asleep in the living room when he waited for... what? Pony step through the front door? Pony calling on the phone? Someone else calling to give them news? A ransom, perhaps. But they already knew the ransom, a silent dad.

"What do you want me to say, Soda?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes. "We're doin' what we can."

"It's not enough," Soda said and threw himself down beside Darry. "He has to be somewhere." He leaned forward and felt the tears again. He knew he was a bawl baby, but he had a good reason for it. Two days without Pony. One day he could handle if he was forced to it. The first day he still had hopes. If he wouldn't be in that house he and Two-Bit searched through, Tim would know something, or Dean. But there was no answers from them. And then the night come, the first night. He had slept in Pony's room, to be close to him. Or at least tried to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he wondered how Pony had it. If he was scared. Or hurt. Or worse, both. He had been up long before dawn, taking the truck and driven on the streets, looking for clues. They had all searched that day. All except Darry, who was in pain and home to watch the phone. He had tried to call the prison, but wasn't allowed to talk to their dad. He was still in the prison hospital, but would be released soon and put in isolation in the wait for the trial. And now they had lived through the second night, and still no Pony home. Soda was devastated.

Someone walked in through the door, and both Curtis brothers looked at it. It was Dally, followed by Johnny.

"Call Steve and Two-Bit," Dallas said with a low but determined voice.

"Steve's at work," Soda said as he got up and reached for the phone.

"Don't care," Dally's ice blue eyes pierced Soda's. "Call him and make him come over."

Darry's face changed.

"What do you know?" he said abruptly, but Dally kept his mouth shut, with a look in his eyes that told Darry he wouldn't say anything more right now. Soda put the phone down.

"I can't reach Two-Bit," he said, and then picked it up again, and dialed the number to the DX. Johnny looked a bit nervous.

"I'll go and get Two-Bit," he said quietly and snuck out through the door after Dally's nod.

"Is it about Pony?" Darry asked.

XXX

Ed was furious. He had just got back, being away from the apartment a whole day and night, since he had broken Pony's nose. Gregory had stayed, but had ignored the boy all the time, and just went in to him and untied him when he needed to go to the bathroom. He had offered him food a couple of times, but Pony refused to eat, so the man shrugged and ate it himself. The kid could starve if he wanted, it wasn't his problem. Pony sat in the corner, breathing heavy through his mouth. His nose were to swollen to give him any air. He was scared. Really scared. Ed paced back and forth in the living room, clutching his fists and yelled.

"Damn it!" he said for the third time.

"I don't get it," Gregory muttered. "You mean it was all your idea? I thought it was the big boss who ordered us to..."

"Shut the fuck up," Ed snapped at him, and the bald one shrugged and sat down in the couch. Ed went to stand in the doorway to the small room, glaring at Pony.

"Maybe we should just kill him and dump him somewhere," he said, and Pony shut his eyes, trying not to show that he shivered. "Make rid of the problem."

"Nah," Gregory said. "If you do that you kan be sure his dad'll speak up in court. And then we really got a problem." Ed walked to Pony and sat down on his heels in front of him.

"What do ya say, boy?" Pony glanced up a quick moment.

"...Um... what?..." he whispered. Ed grinned.

"You look like shit!" He put his hand below Pony's chin and raised his head, forcing him to look him in his eyes. "Is your daddy a good person?" he mocked him.

"Yeah..."

"Yeah? He's just a drunkie, a drug dealer, in prison, right?"

Pony didn't answered, and Ed jerked his head more backwards.

"Your dad put you here. Best you beg he doesn't talk, cause then you perhaps meet your little sweet mom again, a bit earlier than you thought."

Pony swallowed, this time both afraid and angry.

"He ain't a rat," he finally said, a little higher this time. "He won't tell anythin'." He met Ed's gaze for a quick moment, then stared down again. Ed let go of his chin.

"Good."

XXX

Johnny found Two-Bit, and Steve made up some excuse to his boss and dropped in through the front door just some moment after the other two. Darry and Soda sat in the couch, glaring at Dally, who only had told them that one of the Brumly boys had come to him, to tell him that Dean wanted to talk to them. So when the others showed up, the two Curtis brothers hurried up. They took Darry's plymouth and Two-Bit's jalopy down to the Brumly boys turf.

"Where is he?" Soda asked while wander around in the outskirts of the lot. He was the first one out from the cars, impatient for some news.

"Come." Dally nodded at the direction of an apartment building which lay on the other side of the street. He took them around the house and down a street, then turned into an alley. Dean and four of his boys stood there, and a man sat on the street behind them.

"You sure took some time," Dean said a bit annoyed to Dally, who just shrugged. Then he turned to Darry.

"Curtis," he said, and Darry nodded at him.

"You know something about my brother?" he asked.

"Maybe. One of my boys dug up this shit," Dean said, nodding at the man. He was poorly dressed, and had obviously slept on the streets the last years. Dean walked to him and gave him a light kick on his leg.

"Speak up," he said. "You've seen the men I talked about?"

The man made a grimace.

"Depends," he muttered.

"Depends on what?" Soda commanded.

"What'ya gonna pay me?" His voice was slurry. Before Darry or Steve had the time to stop him, Soda paled and rushed to the man. He gripped him by his collar.

"Listen, we're lookin' for my kid brother, and if you know somethin' and won't tell us, I swear..."

"Soda!" Darry laid a hand on his shoulder, and Soda let the man go. He made a sound that almost sounded like a sob, then walked to stand behind Steve, hiding his face in his palms.

"He'll talk," Dean said. "You're in my turf," he continued, this time turned to the man again. His voice was soft, but something beneath it was threatening. "And you'll tell me what you know."

"All right." He patted on his pockets, and gave them a glance. Two-Bit dug in his pockets and found a cigarette and a lighter, and tossed them to the man. He hurried to lit the weed, then leaned back against the wall with a sigh.

"So I had this place... I used to sleep there. Until like two days ago, but it was night." He cleared his throat, glancing at Dean. "Then they came, those you talked 'bout. I rem... member them, cause the man with light hair told me to leave. Ya hear that? I had slept there for months and he told _me_ to leave?" He shook his head, angrily. "It was a good place."

Darry frowned.

"Did they had a kid with them?"

The man hold up his pointing finger.

"Yes! Yes, they had! I saw him. He followed them up the stairs, and the blonde came back later and kicked me out. But it's _my_ place!"

"Where?" Darry said, urgent. "Where is the place?"

The man wrinkled his nose and took a drag on the cigarette. He gave Darry a suspicious look.

"Told ya, it' my place! You can't take it..."

"Christ sake, we don't want your fuckin' place, we want the kid!" Soda yelled at him. Steve and Two-Bit held him by his arms, but both of them scowled and looked like they wanted to punch the man themselves too.

"All right, all right, easy! I'll show ya... but don't touch my stuff, ya hear me?"

XXX

Ed patted him on his head and Pony jumped, afraid he would hit him again. The man only laughed at him, his rage gone.

"He hasn't eaten anythin'," Gregory suddenly said, hitting the power button the TV. The sound filled the apartment, and he hurried to turn down the volume.

"Why is that?" Ed asked. Pony shook his head lightly.

"Not hungry," he lied quietly. The truth was his face hurt to much.

"Scary to be here, right?" Ed asked, studying him. Pony stiffened even more, trying to not reveal his feelings. It was scary. He didn't wanted to show he was afraid, but he guessed it shown. "Yeah, well, enjoy our company." Ed laughed again and walked out to his partner.

"What the hell are you watchin'? Just shit man..." he changed the channel and sat down in the couch beside Gregory.

"So he's pissed?" the last one asked in a low voice, but Pony could hear him despite the TV. He lifted his head a bit, tried to listen.

"He'll come around. This isn't a bad thing, who knows what Curtis would've done if we hadn't." He took a beer and opened it. "Toby is the screw up, not us."

"Not _you_, you mean. It wasn't my plan."

"You're into it."

"I'm just sick of baby sittin' a kid."

"If you prefer a bullet in your head, go for it," Ed grumbled.

"Just don't put a bullet in his. At least not before the trial."

Pony choked down a sob. And then it was a knock on the door, and his head jerked up.

XXX

The man glared at them and waved angrily at the direction of an apartment building, which looked like it should be demolished any day. The street outside was filled with bricks and pieces of planks, plastic things and trash. It looked like no one had lived there for a year or longer. Soda was pale.

"He's here?" he asked no one, shivering. Steve laid a hand on his shoulder. He wasn't sure if he did it to comfort Soda, or make him not run away towards the building.

"Door number two is mine," the man said sternly. "Don't take my stuff!" he added and start move. Darry held him back.

"Wait a minute. Which floor?"

"Huh?"

"The men and the boy. Which floor?"

"How the hell should I know?" the man slurred, dragging himself off from Darry's hand. Darry let go, staring at the house.

"Darry..." Soda said, eager to finally do something. What if Pony was here, only a minute away? What if he wasn't...

"Who's in?" Darry asked seriously, ignoring Soda. "They have guns." He already knew that his own gang would follow, but Dean and his boys had nothing to do with this. They had helped enough just by finding the man who lead them to this house. He could be lying, of course, but it was the only leads to their baby brother they had. They had to follow them.

"So do I," Dean said and pulled out a heater. His four boys had suddenly pieces of pipes in their hands. Dally, Steve and Two-Bit flipped out their switchblades. Soda clutched his fists, scared of what to come. This wasn't an usual rumble. The enemies wasn't the Socs, or some angry hood who knew the rules that existed even in a fight.

"But Dar, what if he's in there?" Soda snuck up beside his brother, whispering to him. Darry understood. They couldn't just rush in, give the men plenty of time to do something to Pony if they heard them. Suddenly he wished he hadn't been the oldest, the one that had to make the decisions. One mistake, and it would be his fault if something happened. To Pony or any of them. If he had been in a good shape, he probably had volunteer to be the only one to go, but now he wasn't sure he could stand up in a fight. But he had to. It was his kid brother.

"What are we waitin' for?" Dally said, impatiently. "We gonna get the kid or not?"

XXX

Ed turned to Gregory.

"Who knows we're here?"

"What? No one." Gregory shifted in his seat. "Someone followed you?" he accused him. Ed had his gun in his hands, walking towards the front door.

"Must be that man I kicked out... he tried to jump me, the crazy bastard, talkin' about his place..." He reached for the door knob, pushing the door open. A fist shoot in, hitting his jaw, and he jerked backwards because of the force.

"What the..." Someone gripped his collar and gave him another punch, right on his eye, and he raised the gun, just to experience it being kicked out from his hand. Gregory jumped up from the couch, staring at the scene for a moment before he rushed into the smaller room.

Darry still held Ed in a tight grip, while hitting him in his face time after time. Soda pushed himself by, followed by the others.

"Pony!" He shouted, then suddenly stopped. His kid brother stood just a couple of meters away, tied by his hands and feets. His face was bloody, and around his neck was Gregory's arm, holding up the young boy. "Pony..."

A glimpse of relieve flickered in Pony's eyes, and then he gave a weak moan when the grip around his neck tightened.

"Ill break his fuckin' neck!" Gregory threatened. "Let him go." He nodded at Darry and Ed, the last one almost unconsious now. Darry met Pony's eyes and then dropped the man, who fell on the floor. Gregory smiled at them.

"Now move," he said. "Get away from the door."

"No!" It was Soda. Steve held him by his arm, and he jerked it out from the grip. "No! Let go of my brother!" he demanded. He still locked his gaze with Pony's, and he tried to calm him down. He saw the panic in his brother's eyes, when his air almost was cut off. They had to do something, fast. But he hadn't thought of what happened next. A load bang, and then a bullet whistled close to his ear, finding its goal. Gregory hadn't time to reacht. His arm fell down with him, taking Pony with him too, and Soda rushed forward even before he had time to figure out what had happened.

"Oh god!" Darry said, staring at Dean. The greaser gave him a smirk before he turned the gun down, placing a bullet in the other man too. "Jesus!" Darry took a step backwards. He had wished the men dead, even wanted to do it himself, but actually watch a murder was something else. He felt the blood drain from his face, and luckily he had Two-Bit beside him. His friend placed a hand on his arm to support him. He looked a bit stunned too. Only Dally seemed unaffected by the act from the Brumly leader.

"Don't worry," Dean said, and the intelligent eyes held an almost crazy gaze. His boys stood in the background, one of them lit a cigarette. Dean took the lighter from him, showing a flame to Darry, and now his eyes were stern. Darry swallowed when he understood. He couldn't deal with this. Not now. He quickly turned around and accompanied Soda and Steve, who had released Pony from the ropes.

"Pone, are you okay? Pone?" he heard Soda say, and a faint "Yeah," from Pony made him let out a sigh of relief. Darry kneeled beside them. Soda held an arm around Pony's shoulder.

"Oh god, we found you!" he said, and Darry hugged them both.

* * *

><p>I feel this isn't one of my best chapters. I'm not so pleased with it, but I can't make it better, sorry. When I start a new story I've always (almost!) the plot in my head, the beginning and the end, and some ideas for the middle. But sometimes a story takes another turn than what I planned for, like this kidnapping- thing. The story almost wrote itself until this chapter, and I got some kind of writers block when I tried to write this rescuing chapter. Hm. I hope it didn't turned out that bad as it feels like in my head right now.<p>

Yes I have a beta, but it's some trouble with it, she can't send the documents back to me, no idea what's wrong with the site. We're trying to fix it some other way, and I will replace the beta-read chapters later. So sorry for grammar mistakes! I try, but your language is sometimes very difficult ;) (But I love it! It feels more real that the Outsiders will be in english. I own 2 copies of the book, one in swedish, one in english, and I really prefer the english one.)

Please review! And don't be afraid to criticize me, I will always try to get better to write/write in english, and your words about my work helps A LOT! Thank you!


	22. Open window

**Chapter Twentytwo - **_**Open window**_

He was home.

Soda sat beside his brother, watching him as he had fallen asleep. Pony had been stirring around in the bed for hours, to tired to stay awake, to afraid to sleep even if Soda was with him. Not that he admitted it, but Soda could see it. He read his little brother like an open book sometimes. Pony hadn't said much, but Soda was only glad he was back, talking could come later. Right now he only wanted him to rest. And so, finally, the tiredness took over and Pony's eyes flickered one last time. He didn't seemed relaxed though, his eyes were hard closed, his fists clenched even in sleep, and his whole body felt stiff. Soda sighed and laid down beside him.

The gang sat in the living room, talking quietly, but Soda didn't wanted to leave Pony. Not now. He slept so anxiously Soda was afraid he would wake up and be scared if he was alone. Last time he had woke up in their house, Ed and Gregory had been there. That was a memory which would take forever to get lost, for all of them.

Soda almost had a hard time to believe that they actually had found Pony, and had managed to save him. If they hadn't... he didn't even wanted to continue that thought. And the events that followed when they entered that apartment still felt unreal, too. Of course, he was glad the bastards was dead, but still, the feeling of the unreal didn't wanted to go away, a feeling he had felt since it happened. And he knew all of them, the gang, just wanted to take Pony away from there and let the Brumly's handle what they leader had done. Soda was still a bit shocked. At first he was really pissed, what if Dean had hit Pony instead of the man who held him? But Dean just gave him a hard glare. Two-Bit had in some moment asked him why, and the response had been _why not?_ So what was really going on inside the Brumly leader's head, no one knew. But that gang had always been the toughest on the east side, and Soda knew they had had gang members killed, gang members sent to prison, gang members seriously hurt in fights and rumbles with weapons involved over the years. The Brumly boys lived a whole different lives than him and his brothers and friends did. They had always been more hoods than greasers.

Soda sighed again. One part of him was glad that Dean had did what he did, it was much easier to know the men couldn't hurt Pony, or their dad, or anyone else for that matter, anymore. But the other part of him felt bad. He couldn't explain why, maybe it was because of the cold in the act. No one in their own gang could have killed someone like that. He and Darry had talked about it, to kill them, when Darry was in the hospital, but it was a difference between talk and to actually do something. The only one who had been involved in murder cases in their gang earlier was Dally, when he lived in New York, but Soda was sure he never had killed someone himself. Not yet, anyway. He was the only one Soda could see maybe do something like that, something that wasn't an accident or self defense. No. He changed his mind. Not even Dally could have done it. He was more alike Dean than the rest of them, but he wasn't him. Nothing Dally said showed that he was different, but then there was Johnny. The way Dallas treated and helped him showed he had something more inside him. The blonde hood was the only one who had thanked Dean afterwards, though, just before they left that damn building. After all, he had saved Pony.

And now they were home, and safe, he hoped.

Pony moved slightly in the bed and Soda threw an arm around him, leaning his cheek against Pony's head. They had taken him to the hospital to fix the broken nose, and now he had a big, white band-aid taped to it, but they could still see the bruises sticking out around it. He was lucky, he didn't need a surgery, the doctor told them. Everything was in it's right place, and he just needed to be careful to touch the nose until it was healed. He would probably look the same again if he could let it be. Pony had assured him that he would.

Pony had with few words told them some things about what had happened, but Soda knew he had left out a lot. He was sure his brother would tell him in time, so he didn't nagged about it. He lifted his head and threw a look at the clock on the nightstand - it was only eight, to early to go to bed, but the last days of no sleep made him yawn.

He heard the front door slam shut, and some moments later Darry stood in the doorway.

"You okay?" he asked, silently. "Pony?"

Soda turned around.

"Yeah. He's asleep." He hesitated for a moment, then looked up at his brother. "Darry, what the hell happened?" They hadn't had time to talk in private until now, when the gang had left and Pony was asleep. Darry walked over the floor and sat down on the bedside.

"I don't know," he said, rubbing his temple and sighed. He knew Soda felt as uncomfortable as he did. Everything had changed so fast, from them being on the victims side, to become... what? Killers? They weren't innocent, they knew Dean had a gun, and deep down, Darry wasn't surprised he actually had used it. He had _known_ he would, and he hadn't stopped it. Actually, he had wished for it to happen, even if he became shocked when it did. But now they had to try to leave it all behind them. "I just hope it's not our trouble anymore," he said, and Soda nodded slowly, thoughtful, and then changed the subject slightly. Darry was glad he did.

"How about dad?"

"I'll call him tomorrow."

"Okay."

Soda sat up, rubbing his eyes, then looked down at his sleeping brother.

"You know what day it is tomorrow?" he asked, and Darry's expression changed when he remembered.

"Oh," he said, staring up at the ceiling. "I can't believe I forgot."

XXX

When he woke up he was alone, and a sudden ray of panic shot through his body, until he realized he was home, in Soda's room for some reason. He blinked a few times, trying to make his breaths calm and steady. Then he remembered why he wasn't in his own room. _They're dead. They can't come back. _He remained under the covers, trying to sort out his thoughts about yesterday. Everything seemed blurry, like he didn't wanted to remember. And truth was, he didn't. He looked at his hands and saw them shiver, saw the faint red color and scrapes around the wrists after the ropes. The toilet flushed behind the wall, and a sudden noise in the door made him quickly hide his hands under the sheets while he inhaled hard. His heart rushed before he realized it was his brother who came back in.

"You okay, Pone?" Soda asked gently. He cursed himself of being away, even if he had been in the toilet, exact that moment Pony woke up. He should have been there. He was beside him now, stroking back his hair. Pony swallowed.

"Yeah." It was only a part of a lie. He _was_ okay, wasn't he? He was home. Safe. The men was dead. Everything was fine. _It is. It is fine._

"Happy birthday!" Soda smiled, and Pony's eyes widened. It was his birthday. He was fourteen now, and suddenly he started to cry.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Soda pulled him up in a hug and stroke his back a long moment before the tears finally subsided. "It's allright, Pony. You're home now..." He felt his brother shiver.

"Are they dead, Soda?"

"Yeah... they are. But don't worry about it, okay?"

"I don't." But Soda wasn't convinced. Something in his brothers voice told him different. Pony struggled out from Soda's embrace, and the older brother let go. He watched him wipe his tears careful, not touching his nose.

"Does it hurt?"

"A little." He reached out and grabbed the bottle of aspirin Darry had given him the day before. Soda got up and fetched a glass of water from the kitchen, but when he came back Pony already had taken the pills dry and stood up, pulling up a pair of jeans. Soda put down the glass and grabbed a t-shirt and handed it to him.

"Are you workin' today?" Pony asked quietly, and Soda shook his head.

"No, we ain't. Took some free time."

"For my sake?" He sounded a bit offended, revealed that some of the old Pony was still there, and Soda was thankful for it. He would get through this.

"Hey, it's your birthday!" Soda jabbed him lightly on his shoulder, then got serious. "And... you know. We just couldn't... I mean, not now when you're back, Pony."

Pony nodded, but for some reason avoided his brother's gaze. They walked to the kitchen and Pony felt it strange that the house seemed so normal. It was the same colors, the same furniture. It wasn't years since he'd been here, it was only days. Like nothing had happened at all. Then he remembered something.

"How's Darry anyway? I saw him when they... they shot him..."

"He's okay, it was just a flesh wound."

"Just sore," Darry said, looking up from the cake he decorated. "Happy birthday, Pone!" He smiled at him, left the counter and hugged him.

"I thought we already had had a cake," Pony said, thinking of the surprise party Two-Bit arranged.

"You can never have too much cake!" Soda said.

"Ain't that true!" a voice said behind them. Two-Bit stood in the doorway, smiling with a present in his hand. "Catch, Pone!" He tossed it to the younger boy, who dropped it on the floor. He picked it up again.

"Hope it didn't broke," he said. He sat down on a chair, fingered on the paper wrap, while staring out in front of him, looking at nothing. Soda and Darry exchanged glances, and Soda sat down beside his kid brother.

"Pone?"

He jumped.

"It's okay, Pony..." Soda tried to comfort him.

"Yeah, I know." Determined he took a deep breath, then start to unwrap the gift. "Thanks, Two-Bit." He looked up at his friend who smiled back.

"Hope you like it, kiddo, or I can steal you somethin' else."

"No, it's fine. I like it." He dragged his hand over the sketch-book and the pencils. Darry took one of his hand, turning it around to look at his wrists, and Pony tried to jerk away.

"Dar, come on," he said. "It doesn't hurt."

"What about your nose?"

"I took some aspirin."

"I've some stronger painkillers if you need," Darry said, let go of his arm and picked up a bottle from his pocket.

"It's okay. Really," Pony added. Darry didn't seemed too satisfied with his answer, but he let it go for now, and turned to the fridge to make breakfast.

"You'll get our presents from us later, Pony," Soda said, but Pony was lost in his own world again.

XXX

"He won't go near his own room," Soda said quietly to Darry, while staring down the hallway. They had thought of go out and eat dinner at a restaurant with the rest of the gang, but Pony didn't wanted to leave the house. So Darry made dinner at home instead, and then they had the cake. The youngest one didn't eat much, though, and now when the gang had left again, Pony headed for Soda's room with one of his new books.

"I've noticed," Darry said. "Just... give him time." He looked through the mail, sorted out the bills and threw away the junkmail in the trash.

"So... dad's trial," Soda said. "You think he's gonna, ya know, tell them everything now?"

Darry shrugged and sat down with a sigh and start open the envelopes. It was to many bills. They had lost to much workdays, and he knew both he and Soda had to work overtime if they should have a chance to catch up. Even if their dad would tell the truth and rat out the now dead men, he still would be gone fo months. Dary would have to try to get a full part job instead, and postpone the next semester in college. He hoped his dad's verdict wouldn't be more than six months. Or no more than a year. He could take care of his brothers that time, if the state let him, but then he needed to take up his schoolwork again. And the football... the coach wouldn't be to happy about this.

"I don't know, Soda. Maybe it's for the best if he don't. If the cops start looking for them..."

"Yeah, but it was Dean. Not us. And I mean, they burnt down the whole place after we'd left." He tapped at the newspaper on the table. It had just been a short notice, a building that would have been demolished had burnt down, police investigated if it was an accident, maybe a forgotten cigarette from some homeless, or an arson. But since no one lived there, both the house and the area around abandoned for years, and no people got hurt, they probably would drop the case. Besides, it was far on the east side. Greaser area. They never put much effort there if they didn't had to. Darry and Soda had anxiously read the article, but it didn't said anything about two bodies found. But of course, they couldn't be sure that Dean left them there either.

"It was him, but we were with him. Even if we all know to keep our mouths shut, there's a witness, Soda."

"You mean that homeless man?" Soda shrugged. "You think anyone would believe him? I mean, he was sort of crazy."

"I don't know. Just...I don't know."

"Have you called dad?"

"I called his lawyer... Mr. Manning. He said he would check up if dad can call us today."

"He need to know about Pony." Soda looked down the hallway again. "I'll go check on him."

It was still really warm outside, and when Soda stepped inside it felt like a sauna in the room. Pony had closed the window completely. He laid on his back on the bed, staring up in the ceiling. When Soda came in, he turned his head and wiped the sweat off of his forhead.

"Damn hot in here, Pone," Soda said and reached for the window. Pony bolted straight up.

"Don't open it!"

"Why? We can't be in here if I don't, and tonight..."

"Please!" Pony interrupted him. "Don't open it." Then Soda understood.

"Pone, they can't come back."

His kid brother looked down and blushed.

"I know." It looked like he fighted against his tears, and when he spoke his voice was shaky. "I just don't want anyone to come in, ya know."

"They climbed through your window?" Soda said and sat down beside him. He hoped Pony would start talk about things, but Pony shook his head.

"I don't know. I was asleep. But it was wide open." He wiped away a tear. "Should've closed it."

"It wasn't your fault, Pony. Besides, we never lock our front door either. Maybe they came that way."

Pony suddenly looked terrified, but acted like he tried to hide it. Soda felt a knot in his stomach. Both he and Darry had swore to protect their brother, and then they had let this happen. Darry sometimes accused Pony not to use his head, but now it was them who hadn't.

"I'm sorry," he began, but Pony shook his head.

"No, Soda. We can't lock it." He reached for the pack of smokes on the floor, took a stick and lit it. He hadn't had a smoke for days, and it felt good to have one. "Now when dad's not here, maybe Johnny and Steve'll hang around here like they used to do again." He took a second drag on the cigarette. "Besides, Ed and Gregory are dead now, right? So it's just stupid to start lock it now." Soda studied him.

"You sure? We have keys."

"Yeah, I'm sure." He sounded like he tried to convince himself.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not much to talk about, Soda."

"You know I'll listen."

Pony gave him a weak smile.

"I know."

"You can sleep in here tonight too if you want."

Pony remained silent a couple of minutes while he finished his cigarette. Then he threw the butt in the water glass Soda had brought in in the morning.

"Thanks," he finally answered.

* * *

><p>And thanks for all reviews!<p> 


	23. To breathe

**Chapter Twentythree - **_**To breathe  
><strong>_

Pony walked into the kitchen, with messy hair, dressed in pyjama pants and a too big t-shirt, obviously not one of his own. Darry looked up from his cup of coffe where he sat at the table, watching as his youngest brother slid down on the chair next to him. He noticed he looked like he hadn't slept at all, red eyes and a pale face, and he rubbed his wrists like the ropes recently had been taken of.

"Morning," Darry said, and gave his watch a quick glance. It was only six in the morning, and Pony never used to go up this early, especially not on the summer breaks. But this, he reminded himself, wasn't an ordinary day. "Why are you up already?" But he already knew the answer.

Pony shrugged. "Couldn't sleep." He bit his lip, twisting his fingers around each other in a nervous way. He gave Darry a quick glance. "You'll work today?" he asked quietly.

"I have to." Darry made a grimace. He didn't wanted to, but what could he do? They needed the money. "I'm gonna ask the boss if I can get full time now. If not, I've to look for another job, or a second one." _Damn you, dad._

"But what about your... stomach?"

"I'll manage." He took a sip of coffee. "I'm fine enough to work."

"What about Soda?" Ponyboy tried to make it sound easily, but Darry could hear the worry in his voice.

"I'm sorry, kiddo, but he has to go back to work today too."

"Yeah." Pony looked down at the table, and Darry wondered how things would be now. Their life was just a mess, and if it hadn't been so tragic, so many things who had gone wrong, maybe he had laughed at it. Laughed at the thought of the impossibility that so much could happen to just one family. But there was nothing to be happy about, and it would take a long time before any of them would be genuine happy again. Maybe they could laugh, but deep inside they would still feel bad.

"You know, the bills..." he began, but Pony prevented him to continue.

"It's okay, Dar, I understand." _I just don't want to be alone._ Like he could read his mind, Darry cleared his throat.

"Johnny and Two-Bit will stop by before Soda leaves. He'll start at eleven."

"Oh... okay." Pony hated it when he felt like the gang tried to babysit him, but today he needed it. Even if he felt ashamed about it, he was glad they would be here when his brothers left.

"Want some breakfast?"

Pony shook his head. "I ain't hungry." He glanced up. "Don't worry, I'll eat later. It's just to early."

"Are you gonna stay home or go out somewhere? I haven't talked to dad yet. I told his lawyer he can call me at work, but..."

"I'll be home," Pony said. "I can clean or somethin'." The thought of leaving the house scared him, but he didn't wanted Darry to know that. Besides, the house was in a really need to be cleaned up. No one had done the dishes or the laundry in several days.

"Okay. You...um, you think it's okay to talk to dad if he calls here? It's not a problem, I mean?"

Pony nodded, to make sure Darry couldn't see he felt awkward about it.

"Sure, no problem," he lied.

XXX

Darry left an hour later, and Pony walked to the front door, opened it up slightly and peered out. He saw Darry drive away, meeting another car on the street, and his heart raced. _Breathe, _he reminded himself, and for a moment it felt like he couldn't. He slammed the door shut and locked it, then sat down, with his back leaned against it and hid his face in his hands, careful about his still aching nose. He had to tell himself to take deep draughts of air, then let it out. The dizziness subsided eventually, and then he could breathe normal again. He pushed all his thoughts aside. If he thought of nothing, then it would be okay. It was just hard to do it. His mind rushed like his heart had done, and he sat his hands against his temples, moved them to his ears, but nothing helped. The memories wouldn't go away. He didn't knew how long he had been sitting there when Soda finally got up. An hour, at least. Maybe two.

"Pony?" Soda asked and frowned when he saw him on his way to the kitchen. Pony looked up, swallowed once.

"W... what?"

"What are you doin'?"

"Um... nothin'." He embraced himself with his arms, pushing his knees up under his chin. "I'm okay," he said, but it sounded like he tried to convince himself that he was, and not talking to Soda. His big brother was suddenly beside him.

"Come on, Pone." His voice was worried. "You can't sit here." He put his hand under Pony's arm, and Pony let himself be dragged to his feet and into the kitchen. Soda helped him sit down in a chair and stared him in his eyes for a moment before he turned to the fridge.

"I told you, I'm okay," Pony protested weakly when Soda placed a glass of chocolate milk in front of him.

"Drink this. You want the cake that's left?"

"No." He placed his hands around the glass, feeling its coolness. To Soda chocolate was like medicine, and he took a sip just to make him calmer. It almost worked, his brother seemed a little more relaxed. He leaned against the counter.

"So what do you want for breakfast? Come on, Pone, I know you haven't eaten yet." His voice was smoothing, almost pleading. "Please? I can make some of my specialities."

Pony opened his mouth to answer, but got interrupted by someone trying to open the front door. It sounded like Two-Bit, and they could hear him cussing from outside.

"_Guys?_" he shouted and knocked. "_Somethin's wrong with your door! It won't open!_"

Soda stiffened and gave Pony a glance.

"You locked it?" he asked, and Pony looked away. He remembered what they had talked about yesterday.

"It sort of... happened," he whispered.

"It's okay, Pone," Soda assured him, and left the kitchen to let their friend in. Two-Bit spoke loudly when he got in, but was hushed down by Soda, and Pony blushed when he heard them whisper in the living room. He knew they were talking about him. When they finally got in to the kitchen, Two-Bit grinned at him like nothing was unusual, but he couldn't hide the concerned look in his eyes.

"Morning, Pone!" he said happily and opened the fridge. He gave it a quick search. "Oh, you still have cake left!" He took out the plate and put it on the table. Soda catched the fridge door before it closed and took out a package of eggs.

"So what are you two up for today?" Soda asked easily while he cracked the eggs for pancakes. Pony didn't miss the gaze he gave Two-Bit, and the almost invisible nod the older greaser gave back for an answer. He wished they just could knock it off and let him be.

"Yeah, well, maybe we could pick up Johnny and go to the movies, or..." Two-Bit started while cutting a piece of the cake.

"No, we have to stay here," Pony said quickly. The other two glanced at each other, and Soda looked like he was up to say something, but Ponyboy continued. "If dad calls," he explained.

"I thought he would call Darry's work," Soda said and poured batter in a frying pan. He frowned. "You don't have to stay..."

"Yeah, but maybe he'll forget that," Pony said a bit annoyed. Why was they so eager for make him leave the house? He didn't wanted to go outside. "If he does, I must be home."

"Sure, we can stay here," Two-Bit said. "We can watch tv, play some poker, do some wrestling..."

"Uh-hu," Soda said while shaking his head. "Not with Pony's nose." He pointed at him with the spatula. "If he wants it to remain straight he'll better watch it."

Pony suddenly trembled when he remembered the receiver crashing down at his face. He swallowed, trying not to think about it. But it was hard. He couldn't sleep last night, cause everytime he closed his eyes he was afraid Ed would lean over him when he opened them again. It was ridiculous, he knew the man was dead. He had seen him dead. He had seen them both dead, he had heard the gunshots when it happened. God, he hated this. He wished everything could go back to normal again, his mom alive, his dad being himself, erase everything that had happened the last five months. If they just could go back, everything would be fine again.

XXX

Darry climbed up the ladder, but his thoughts about his youngest brother and their dad made him slip with one foot, and he nearly fell down. His hand gripped tighter around the metal. It would be fatal if he broke his leg or neck or something. Then Pony and Soda would have no one to take care of them, and the state would step in. That just couldn't happen. If it would be bad before, it would be even worse now, after everything that happened to Pony. He needed his family and the gang if he should recover.

"Hey, Curtis, watch it!" A bearded face turned up above him. "Reach me that."

Darry took a few more steps and handed the bundle of roofing he was carrying to William.

"Thanks." He climbed up over the edge and sat down. It was always easier to work on a flat roof.

"So how's your brother?" William put the bundle down and sat down beside him, dangling his feets over the edge. Darry had only told them Pony was sick, as an excuse to be gone for work, something he now was afraid would be true. His youngest brother hadn't looked too well when he left this morning. But he couldn't say that.

"He's better."

"Oh, that's good. And your dad?" Darry looked at him, but saw that William was genuine interested, as a friend and not just a curious colleague. If it had been the latter, he had told him nothing.

"The trial is tomorrow," he said. "I think he's okay, I haven't been able to speak to him. I hope he'll call me today."

"Yeah, well, good luck with everything."

"Thanks." Darry opened the tool box and picked up the hammer. It had finally been a bit cooler, and a light breeze made the day almost comfortable to work in. At least it didn't felt like the sun tried to fry him. But he almost cussed when dark clouds started to appear in the horizon some hour later, and the sound of thunder could be heard. If it started to rain the work day would be over, and that meant less money on the pay check.

"Darrel Curtis!" a man on the ground shouted, and Darry got up.

"Yeah?" he called back.

"Phone call! In the office."

"I'm comin'." He turned to William, who worked beside him. "I'll be right back." He got a pat on his shoulder.

XXX

"Sure you're alright?" Soda asked Pony while they stood in the hallway. Johnny and Two-Bit sat in the couch, watching TV, and Steve leaned against the front door, waiting for Soda with his arms folded. Pony nodded at Soda's question.

"Yeah. Go, Steve's waitin'."

"Come on, Soda!" Steve shouted. "We're gettin' late!"

"I don't like this," Soda told Pony. "I ought to be home." He gave Pony a hug, and frowned when he felt the boy tremble. It was only slight, but it was there.

"Pone..."

"Don't, Soda. We need the money." But Soda hesitated and Pony grabbed his arm to shove him away. "Go! I'm fine, I'm not a little kid."

Soda threw a quick glance at Steve's direction, and saw his friend point at the door, and then turned back to his brother.

"Call me if you need me, and I'll be home right away."

"Okay." Soda didn't move. "_Okay_!"

Steve rolled his eyes at Soda when he finally left Pony's side.

"Geez, Soda, the boss won't be to happy."

"I don't care." He waved at Two-Bit and Johnny. When the door closed behind them Pony walked into the living room and sat down in the recliner. He picked up the book he had left on the coffe table and tried to read, but the words didn't reached his mind. When he had read the same sentence five times and didn't get it at all, he tossed the book into the wall, making Johnny jump and Two-Bit turn his gaze away from the TV.

"Whoa, Pony," he said. "If it's that bad, why don't you just return it to the library?"

"It ain't a library book," he muttered and leaned back. He glared at his friends in the couch, wanted them to go so he could pretend everything was normal, wanted them to stay so he didn't had to feel afraid. It was confusing. Johnny shifted in his seat, not sure of what to do. Pony was so different than how he used to be. He looked at Two-Bit for support, and felt relieved when the older one picked up a deck of cards. If they did something, maybe Pony could stop thinking about it, the kidnapping. Johnny knew his friend well enough to know what the problem was. He just couldn't help him fix it. Pony had always been the dreamer in the gang, the one who thought about things, and that made him more sensitive, easier to break. To look at him now, with his bruised face, the marks on his wrists and the look in his eyes, made Johnny wish that Pony would get over it soon and become his old self again.

Two-Bit dealt the cards, and he and Johnny picked up theirs from the table, but Pony stared at his book on the floor.

"Poker, Pone."

"I don't wanna play, Two-Bit."

"Aw, come on, kiddo. Don't make me play with Johnny alone. He'll win all my cigarettes."

"You don't need to be sarcastic," Johnny said. "You know I ain't good at this."

Pony sighed and picked up his cards. He stared at them for a moment and then threw them back at the table.

"You're cheatin'!" he accused Two-Bit, but to the others relief, they could see a smile on his lips.

"Well, Soda and Steve does it all the time. Can't blame me for tryin'."

_Can't blame you for tryin', boy! _The voice echoed in his head, and he inhaled hard. It felt like his chest tightened, and his pulse was suddenly too fast, too loud. Every other sounds was gone and the room was filled with his heartbeats, and he thought he was going to die. It must be this way it felt... He tried to breathe, but couldn't. He gasped for air, but got none, and he panicked. Someone shook him, and his eyes widened, but he couldn't see... Ed was back. He was back... he knotted his fist and punched, he heard someone cuss and the hands on his shoulders disappeared, but his air was still cut off. The room was spinning, round and round and round...

"_Pony!_" He knew that voice. It wasn't Ed. It was Johnny.

"Can't breathe," he panted, and then he realized that he could, and he dragged one shaky breath after another, trying to calm down again.

"Are you okay, Pony?" This time it was Two-Bit, and Pony shook his head, still dizzy, still scared, but suddenly the room stopped and he could see again. He raised his gaze, staring into Two-Bit's eyes. His friend held a hand under his nose, and blood dripped through his fingers. "You sure can punch," he tried to joke, but Pony looked shocked.

"Is that broken too?" he managed to say, nauseous because of the blood and what it reminded him of.

"No, it's okay. What happened?" Two-Bit was worried. "Pony, what happened? Was it an asthma attack or somethin'?"

"Asthma? I ain't got asthma..." Pony looked around, like he was lost and had no idea of where he was.

"You said you couldn't breathe."

"I..." he didn't knew what to say. He curled up in the armchair, pulled his knees up like he had done this morning, when he leaned against the front door when Darry had left.

"Pony!" It was Two-Bit again, but he was to tired to answer him.

"Call Darry," Johnny said, and Two-Bit got up and reached for the phone, dialed the number and asked for Darry.

"You... you don't need to call him, I'm okay now," Pony suddenly said, but he still hid his face. "Don't call him, Two-Bit."

"Sorry, kiddo, it's too late."

* * *

><p>Thank you so much for reading, and for your reviews!<p>

This weekend I was in a candystore, and of course when I saw the candy SODAPOP'S I had to buy some. So right now when I'm writing this I'm eating a Sodapop :)


	24. Phone calls

**Chapter Twentyfour - **_**Phone calls**_

His thoughts competed about his attention when he drove home, and he didn't knew what worried him the most - what Two-Bit had told him about Pony, or the fact that he had left his work without telling anyone. He had just slammed the receiver down and rushed out to his car on the pavement, ignoring the voice calling him from behind. He gave the steering wheel a smack. He couldn't afford to lose his job! But then there was Pony... it would be a lot worse to lose him. A lot. And even if Two-Bit had done his best to calm him down after his ramble about Pony-had-a-seizure-or-somethin', and said that Pony seemed fine now, it wasn't enough. _Seemed_ wasn't enough. He had to _be_ fine.

When he reached the east side he thought about driving to the gas station and pick up Soda, but then decided against it. It wouldn't help them if they both lost their jobs, and he knew Soda. He would rush out, like he had done, if he heard about Pony, and Soda's boss wouldn't appreciate that at all. They always needed one behind the counter and one in the workshop, and Soda wouldn't stick around to wait for a substitute when it come to a problem with his kid brother. Darry parked his car on the driveway and rushed into the house, meeting Johnny's big, dark eyes where he sat in the couch.

"Where's Pony?"

Johnny pointed down the hallway but said nothing, and Darry left the living room, only to bump into Two-Bit who stood outside the bathroom. He stood leaning against the wall on the opposit side from the door, staring at it. His nose was a bit red.

"Ya know you didn't had to come home..." Two-Bit eyed him and scratched the back of his head. "He's in there," he hurried to add when he saw the look in Darry's eyes. "Locked himself in about ten minutes ago."

"Ponyboy?" Darry knocked on the door and held his breath, afraid he wouldn't get an answer, but to his relief it came almost instant.

"I'm okay, Darry." Pony's voice almost sounded normal. Almost.

"What are you doin'? Come out."

"I'm takin' a bath."

"You're doing what?"

"Takin' a bath. You know, to get clean?" That came out sarcastic and Darry frowned. He turned to Two-Bit who shook his head.

"I ain't heard any faucet turn on," he whispered, and Darry turned to the door again.

"Pony, open up!"

"Leave me alone."

Darry felt the annoyance raise, and he felt ashamed for it, but he couldn't help that he got angry. Rage had always been a way for him to handle worry.

"Pone, I just left my work for you, damn it, so you open the door so I can see that you're okay! You hear me?"

It was silent for a long moment after the shouting, and then he heard a low, somewhat irritated voice.

"I didn't asked you to."

Darry gave the door one last knock and then left it and headed to the kitchen. He needed coffee. He needed to get back to work to see if it still was his. He wanted to break something and stared at the empty cup in his hand, but before he threw it in the wall or something, he managed to calm himself down. This wasn't Pony's fault. If there was anyone to blame, any_ living _one to blame, it was their dad.

"Should've picked up Soda," he said to himself. Soda was good at handle Pony. He was surprised when he heard a voice behind him, he hadn't realized Two-Bit had followed him into the kitchen.

"Don't worry, Darry, he'll come out soon." He opened the fridge and picked out two beers. He reached one to Darry, who shook his head. Two-Bit shrugged, and put it back again. Darry suddenly felt twenty years older.

"That's not what I'm worried about. If I was, well, I'd just kicked the door in."

XXX

He wasn't sure when or how he managed to get up on his feets and walk to the bathroom, but the heavy weight released from his body when he turned the lock and finally was alone. Or at least as alone as he could be, with the others still in the living room. Johnny and Two-Bit had just stared at him when he walked away, but the looks in their eyes told him everything. He grabbed the sink with both hands and stared at himself in the mirror. He still looked awful, and he wondered if his nose would look like it used to do again. He hoped so, he didn't wanted another memory about that days. It was enough with those inside his head, he didn't need them on the outside too.

Two-Bit had called Darry, and he knew it was just a moment of time before he would be home, and maybe Soda was with him. He hoped not. He loved Soda too much, and that was the problem. Soda would manage to coax him to open the door, to go out, to talk, and right now he didn't want to do either of those things. He wanted to stay here, in the only room in the house without a window.

The floor was cold when he sat down, he curled up again, and he didn't even tried to stop his tears. It was better to cry now than later. Maybe he would be finish by the time Darry walked through the front door. He put a hand on his mouth to prevent the sobs to be heard outside the bathroom. The salty water dripped down on his hand, on his jeans, and even if no one could see him he felt embarassed. Darry hadn't cried if it was him in this position. Not Dally or Steve or Two-Bit either. Maybe Soda would, but he hadn't been ashamed of it, he would just do it. Soda was never ashamed to show his feelings, but he was _Soda_, and everybody liked him the way he was. No one would have think of him being a little kid anyway. But himself was always the kid, no matter what. And now it was only going to get worse. He hated that he always seemed to need protection. He may be the youngest, but Johnny was almost as small as he, even if he was two years older.

Maybe Johnny would cry too. No, not Johnny. He never cried when his dad hit him. His life was worse than this, he would have managed this. It was only he who couldn't. Suddenly Pony felt stupid, and he wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. He promised himself that this was the last time he would cry. Never again. He was just about to open the door when he heard Darry's car and the front door, and suddenly his brother stood outside the bathroom. Pony dragged his hand back from the lock, like it had burnt him.

The lie come easily, even if he knew they would know that he wasn't telling them the truth. The old pipes in the house revealed when someone turned the faucets on, and he hadn't done it. It was obvious that he wasn't taking a bath. When Darry made the last knock on the door he thought of do it, make it true, but he hadn't taken a towel with him, and that would meant he had to ask for one... No. He sank back to the floor, and decided to stay there until Darry had left again. He couldn't stay, he had to go back to work soon. Didn't he?

XXX

Darry had been home for half an hour, and Pony had still not locked up the door. He thought about open it with force, but something told him that wasn't a good idea. He sighed and looked down at his cup of coffee and took the last sip. The work was waiting for him, he hoped, and today was the day he should talk about full time with the boss. Just great. Now he probably wouldn't get it. And tomorrow was the trial, one day more he needed to get the time off. The thought of how small the paycheck would be this month made him sigh again. For the first time he was actually glad that Soda had dropped out, without him making money too things would be devastating. He got up and placed his cup in the sink and stared at the dishes for a moment. Pony had said he would clean up, but for good reason he hadn't. Darry suddenly realised that his youngest brother felt more bad than he and Soda had thought. The only thing they had had in their mind when he was lost was to save him, not that he would be needed to be saved once again afterwards. But just how would they do that?

"I can do it," a low voice said behind him, and startled he turned around.

"Do what?"

"The dishes."

Darry rubbed his temple. "Thanks, Johnny, but you don't have to."

The boy shrugged.

"I don't mind."

He only hesitated for a moment. "Okay. Thanks." Darry grabbed his keys from the table. "I need to get back to work. Try to coax Pony to get out. And... check on him."

"Yeah, sure."

But when he walked to his car, he felt the first raindrops, and groaned inside. Maybe he would drive all the way to the worksite just to be forced to turn back home again. But the rain appeared to be a quick summer rain, so when he parked his car on the other side of town it had already stopped. He braced himself for getting fired and opened the door. His side stung a bit, and he realized he had to try to be more careful when he climbed the ladders or ran home for brother issues. He almost forgot that he had stitches.

"Where did you go?" William asked when he climbed back to the roof again.

"Emergency at home," he answered and made a grimace. "Are they pissed?" He meant the boss and his foreman. They used to be good guys, but you'll never know.

"Nah, don't think so. Confused, maybe. You sure disappeared fast." Suddenly he smiled. "But I think this can be your lucky day."

"Don't talk to me about luck," Darry groaned.

"Don't say that. I heard a rumor that they're lookin' for more people to go on top of buildnings."

"You mean..."

"If you want that full time job, it's a good day to ask."

XXX

_Pretend nothing happened._ He took a deep breath and opened the door. The hallway was empty, the house almost quiet except for the sound from the TV and a splashing sound from the kitchen. He walked to the living room, saw Two-Bit in the couch, and stopped in the doorway to the kitchen. Johnny stood with his hand in the bubbly, hot water. The boy must have heard him, cause he turned his head.

"Hey, Pony," he said and smiled. Pony smiled back, thankful for having a friend like Johnny. He wouldn't bring any topic up he didn't wanted to talk about. Always knowing when it was time to shut up. He sat down at the table, rubbing his wrists once again. It seemed to turn up to be a bad habit, but somehow he needed to feel it, all the time, that he was free from the ropes.

"Darry's left?" he asked, even if he knew he had. He just needed to say something, something safe.

"Yeah, 'bout half an hour ago." Johnny took the last plate from the sink and dried it on a towel before putting it back in the cabinet. Then he dried his hands on the same towel, turning to Pony.

"You wanna... do somethin'?"

"Like what?" Pony's voice was a bit toneless.

"I don't know." He shrugged. The silence wasn't awkward, and Pony thought of the next thing to say, but someone else got first.

"We still have that poker game goin' on," Two-Bit shouted. Johnny looked at Pony, who didn't said anything, just shook his head slowly.

"Not now, Two-Bit," Johnny said, still eyeing Pony. He still looked a bit pale and shaky. Suddenly he got up.

"I'm goin' to my room."

Johnny stared after him when he had left, unsure of what to do.

XXX

"I'm home!" Soda kicked off his shoes into the corner and threw himself on the couch with a groan. Darry stuck out his head from the kitchen.

"Tired?"

"Yeah. Feels like the whole Tulsa came by the station today, and I sort of stretched my back when I worked on some rusty old car worse than Two-Bit's." He threw Darry a gaze, frowned when he saw his expression and sat up. "What is it?"

Darry came and sat down next to him. He looked tired. Worried.

"I've got two phone calls today," he started.

"From Dad?"

"Yeah, from him too. I told him everything. Almost. The important stuff, anyway."

"And?"

"And... Well, it's not so much to say. He won't say anything, to keep us out of trouble."

Soda scowled.

"That means he'll get a longer time. What about your school?"

"I don't know, Soda. I guess I have to drop it."

"But..."

"No but's. It's okay. Besides, Pony needs us. That was the first phone call." He told Soda about what had happened to Pony, or at least what he thought had happened. He only had Two-Bit's words, since Pony refused to speak to him about it. When he was finished, Soda had never got up from anywhere so fast as he did then.

"Where is he? In his room?" He was already halfways down the hallway, and Darry didn't stop him. Instead he remained in the couch, thinking about what had happened at work. He had talked to the boss, given him a good excuse, and since the boss had kids himself he was understanding. So Darry got his full time job, one thing less to worry about. But just as he turn around to leave, to tell William the good news, the phone rang again. This time it was his dad. His voice was devastated, so Darry had to hurry up to tell him that Pony was home again, and a little lie that he was okay. But even after that it felt like talking to a stranger. A stubborn stranger. Mr. Curtis said he would keep quiet in trial, to make sure his sons wouldn't get in any trouble. If he would mention Ed and Gregory, the cops would look for them. And if they found anything, it was Darry who probably would be the suspect for the murders. After all, it was his dad and brother who was threatened by them, not Dean's. So when they hung up again, Darry felt exhausted.

But after tomorrow, he hoped everything would be over. Then they just had to take the years his dad got. School had to wait. Football had to wait. Damn, his whole life had to wait just because the bad choices his dad had done. But he couldn't hate him. He couldn't. Darry missed his mom too, and it was the accident which had started all this.

XXX

"It was like I... just couldn't breathe." The voice was low, and Soda had to lean close to hear him, but that didn't matter. He had finally managed to coax Pony to talk, after sitting next to him the last hour. "I got scared, ya know."

"It's okay, Pone." He stroked him on his back. Pony laid on his stomach, face turned away from Soda as he refused to meet his eyes.

"I thought I was goin' to die."

"But you didn't. You ain't!"

"Yeah." Pony turned around to his back, and at first he covered his eyes with one arm, but then he took it away and looked at his brother. His eyes were red. "I'm just so tired of bein' scared." He took a shaky breath.

"Don't let them win, Pony."

"I won't." Suddenly he looked determined. "I won't." He sat up, and Soda hurled his arm around his shoulder and gave him a smile. Pony would get through this. Maybe this was the turning point, he had hit the bottom and could start to climb up again. They just needed him to start living again. Do normal stuff.

"You hungry?"

"No." He hesitated for a moment. "Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we visit mom tonight? Now?"

"Isn't it a bit late?" Pony didn't answered, and Soda realized it was a good idea for Pony to dare to leave the house. "Yeah, sure, we can ask Darry if he'll come too. I'm sure he does."

"I miss her." Pony started rubbing his wrists again, and Soda gently took his hands and separated them.

"We all do."

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading! Please review. The next chapter will end this story.<p> 


	25. The end

**Chapter Twentyfive - **_**The end**_

The day went slow. The whole gang except Darry were at the lot with a football, but no one made an effort to start a game. The ball laid untouched some feet away where Two-Bit had tossed it, and they all sat in the grass and smoked instead. Soda talked to Steve in a low voice so no one could hear him, but now and then he threw glances at Ponyboy, who sat leaning against a tree with a hard look in his young face. When they had visited their mom's grave the evening before, he was forced to brace himself to leave the house, and today was unfortunatly not an exception. Soda had seen him hesitate at the door, but now he almost acted normal, just a bit more stiff. And that look. But Soda didn't knew if it was because of him being outside or the small argue Soda had with Darry this morning. It was the day of the trial, and Darry urged to go alone. His arguments had been that they wouldn't know who was gonna show up, and he didn't wanted Pony or Soda near any friends of the dead guys. And finally they had accepted it. Or Soda had, Pony didn't want to go anyway. But Darry was their guardian and made the desicion, and besides, Soda was rather home with Pony anyway. And then it was another thing that worried them. They already knew that their dad was going to prison, and Darry's custody over them was only temporary. After the verdict, Darry would go to the social services and see what they would say about him taking care of his brothers for the next years ahead. If not... Soda didn't even want to think about that, but he was sure Pony did. That could explain his expression. He turned to Steve, to think about something else.

"I thought you should work today," he said to his friend, who played with his switchblade.

"I changed day with Mike. I'm takin' his weekend. Remember that blonde girl who use to hang around the DX? I think she's finally given up on you. She's his date for tonight."

Soda shook his head. "I don't remember her."

"Of course you don't. You only care about Sandy." Steve made a grimace when he realized what he had said. He didn't miss the hurt look in Soda's face. "Hey, why don't you call her? Evie told me her last date with that guy didn't went well. She slapped him."

"She did?" Soda took a deep drag on his cigarette and thought for a while. "Maybe I'll call her after this." Suddenly the day felt a little better. Not much, though, but when he thought about Sandy he felt warm. He would definately call her, if things went well today.

Two-Bit threw away his cigarette butt and stuck his elbow gently in Pony's side.

"I'm hungry!" he complained. "What about goin' to your house and someone could cook us some dinner?"

"If you mean me when you say someone, so no," Pony replied. He pointed with his cigarette. "Ask Soda."

"Let's go somewhere to eat instead," Soda said. "Darry won't be back in at least an hour anyway." He looked at Pony, who looked a bit pale, but he nodded, ready to go.

XXX

The verdict fell and Darry blinked. Now it was real. The reality had catched up. His dad turned around and gave him a sad smile, and somehow he managed to smile back, but all he wanted to do was scream. It felt like someone was putting handcuffs around his wrists too, to drag him to a small cage. His dad should be behind metal bars, but his own bars was made of the love for his brothers. He knew he wouldn't regret it, of course not. Soda and Pony belonged in their house, in their family, not at some boys home or foster care. But still, he mourned his future. Their dad wouldn't came out until both his brothers were over eighteen, and he wasn't sure college and football could wait for him that long. Besides, roofing was a hard job, and he already felt it in his back when he got home from a work day. His body would age quicker now. He leaned forward to his dad's lawyer, who sat alone at the table since Mr. Curtis had been fetched away by the guards.

"Can I talk to dad for a second? Before he leaves?"

Mr. Manning shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Darrel, but no. Maybe I can arrange that he calls you in a couple of days, though."

"Okay. That would be great. Thanks." He watched as his dad was taken out from the courtroom to return to prison, and then he walked out through the audience's door. The building was big, but he followed the signs and found his way out to the parking lot and his car. He had only one more thing to do before he could return to his brothers. Hear another verdict. And he could only hope he would return home as his brothers guardian.

XXX

"Where's Darry?" Pony asked for the third time. They had driven to the Dairy Queen for hamburgers and pepsi's, and it went okay. Pony had been a bit nervous, but discovered it felt good to be out among people again. Sometimes he heard something or saw someone who reminded him of the happening, but with Soda around, he managed to stay calm and breathe. That was what worried him the most, another seizure like yesterday, especially out in public. But everything went fine, and it really felt like he was on the right way to recover. But there was more things that worried him, and now they had been home for two hours and still no Darry. He should be back by now, but as he wasn't, Pony was afraid of what that meant.

"He'll come home soon." Soda threw a card on the table. "Aw, shit!" he shouted.

"What?" It was Steve.

"I threw the wrong card."

Steve shook his head, grinning.

"Pay attention to the game, Soda," Two-Bit recommended. "Or Steve and I'll play your pants off."

"It ain't strip poker, Two-Bit," Soda protested. "I only play strip poker with gals."

Pony walked over to the coffee table and snatched Steve's cigarette pack.

"Hey!"

"I'll just borrow it, Steve. Mine's out." He looked at Johnny. "You comin'?"

Both he and Dally followed Pony out to the porch, and took sticks from Steve's pack.

"He must come home soon," Pony said. Dally leaned against the wall with his elbow on Johnny's shoulder.

"Don't worry, kid. He'll show up."

"Yeah, I hope you're right." He stared down the street, but there was still no car in sight.

XXX

Darry's face. Soda's face. Pony's face. Their eyes, their gazes. They followed him, haunted him. What he had done. Oh God, he was so disappointed at himself. But she... he missed her. It hurt so much. He didn't knew what to do with all the pain inside, the emptiness he had felt since that day, the guilt even if the accident wasn't his fault. But other things were, and prison felt like a relief. He knew he already had destroyed his sons lives. He knew Darry wouldn't leave his brothers, so he had to skip school. Pony, the baby, he didn't knew what Ed and Gregory had done to him, but he knew it happened because of him, his choices. And Soda... he still remembered he had hit him, not once but twice. Or was it more? His memory was a bit blurry, and he knew why. None of the boys deserved a father like him, an alcoholic son of a bitch. He was thankful for the verdict. Prison locked in monsters. Saved others from them. Saved his boys.

A bus took him back and he stared at the grey colors, his home. The cell. The metal, the bars, the locks. The sound of grown men talking, arguing, fighting, cussing. He belonged here. He was one of them, the criminals. _Lock me in and threw away the key_.

When he talked in the phone with Darry yesterday he wished he had the courage to tell him to forget him. Not what he had done, but _him_. He wasn't their dad. He wasn't Mr. Curtis, married to Anne. The car accident had taken them both that day. He sighed and laid down on his bunk. He wasn't fully recovered from his knife wound, and the soreness mocked him. He should be dead.

XXX

He heard the car before he saw it, ran over the front yard to the driveway and stood next to it when Darry pulled up the car and parked. When his brother stepped out, he swallowed, afraid to ask.

"Darry..."

"Where's Soda?"

"Inside."

"Then I'll talk to you there."

"Okay." Pony lit a new cigarette, but Darry didn't said anything when he brought it inside. He knew he needed it. Dally and Johnny was already in the house again, and everyone eyed Darry, looking for an answer in his face.

"You want us to leave?" Steve asked, meaning the rest of the gang who wasn't named Curtis, but Darry shook his head.

"No, you're family too," he said.

"Well?" Soda had dropped his cards and got up. He stood before Darry, and the smile that used to flare in his eyes wasn't there.

"He got five years, and I'm your guardian for now. Social services will come here tomorrow,though, and meet you, and I guess, check the house, see how we're living." It was silent for a moment, then Soda let out a breath of relief.

"Thank you," he said to nobody, and gave Darry a hug. Pony remained in the background, trying to take everything in, but Soda reached out and dragged him to them.

"We'll be okay," he said. "At least we're together."

XXX

The summer was over and the school had start again. Pony thought the first days had been awkward, but then he came in to his normal routines. Go to classes, meet Johnny, Two-Bit and Steve on the breaks, maybe see Soda at the DX, go home, do his homework. The summer's incidents almost felt like a bad dream, the memories still there but fading. He had to much to do than to think about it during the days. The nights though...

"Wake up!" Darry shouted from the doorway. Pony groaned and dragged the sheets over his head, only to be exposed when Soda pulled them away from him.

"Soda!" he complained.

"First to the shower!" Soda dared him and climbed over him to get down to the floor. Pony shook his head and took the sheets again. If Soda was first in the bathroom, he could rest a couple of minutes more. He and Soda had shared bedroom, even bed, since he got home that day. He wouldn't go near his own room, but his brothers understood and didn't nag about it. That was the only place that still scared him. But Darry and Soda acted like it was normal that he moved in to Soda's room. He was thankful for it, especially when they had moved his books and stuff into it one day when he wasn't home. Their way to say they wouldn't force him to go back in there. In time he was sure it would get better, but right now he didn't want to handle it or talk about it. He yawned. He didn't sleep very well. He tried to hide his nightmares, but he was sure Soda knew, even if he rarely screamed. Soda always knew.

"Pony!" Darry shouted again, this time from the kitchen. He watched the clock and frowned. He needed to go soon, but he was also responsible that his youngest brother came to school in time. "Pone, you're gonna be late!"

"I'm just waitin' for Soda to get out from the shower," Pony shouted back.

"All right, just don't fall asleep again."

"I won't!"

Soda was done, and Pony yawned again and got up from the bed. In the bathroom he looked at himself in the mirror. His nose was okay again, the bruise gone and he had studied it from every angle, making sure it looked like it used to do. He couldn't see any difference. Meanwhile he took a shower, the others in the gang came into the house, Two-Bit loud as always. The only one who didn't show was Dally, who had decided to drop school. He had got a job in a stable instead.

"I'm going," Darry said. "Soda, make dinner tonight. I'm gonna be home late, so make sure Pony does his homework."

"He always does, Darry," Soda said. "You don't have to tell him. Steve, you working after school?"

"Yeah, I do." Steve sat down in the couch to wait.

"Pony, hurry up!" Soda shouted after Darry had left. Pony came out from the bathroom, dressed and with greased hair.

"You don't have to shout, I'm comin'," he muttered. "You're the one who use to be late." He sat down at the table to eat his breakfast. Soda suddenly stood beside him.

"You okay?" he asked, and Pony sighed. He got that question several times a day from both his brothers.

"You know I am."

"What about school?"

Pony shrugged. "It's fine." He looked up. "You sound like Darry." Soda just grinned at him and ruffled his hair, then ran away with Steve, shouting a _Goodbye_ before the screen door slammed shut. A couple of minutes later, Pony and Johnny left with Two-Bit in his car. Pony sat in the backseat, staring out through the window as they drove through the neighbourhood. He thought about something Darry had talked about yesterday, about visiting their dad. He suddenly realized he didn't even remembered when he had met him the last time, or what they had said to each other. He didn't remembered the last time he had told him he loved him. But did he? So much had happened since their mom died. But he did love him. Both of them. And he missed them. And he was glad they would go and visiting the only parent they still had left. Life would be better again, and someday their dad would get out again, and they could almost be a whole family again. He smiled at the thought.

XXX

He recognized the voice behind him, but he couldn't place it first. Not until he turned around and saw the face in the middle. Three men stood there, glaring at him, and he glanced through the small room. The guard at the door had left, and suddenly he understood.

"You made me look ridiculous," the man he recognized said. "I don't like that."

"I'm sorry." He didn't knew who he made the apologize to. The man because he had failed to kill him, or himself because he didn't died that day.

"It took a month." The other smiled, but it wasn't friendly. "But now we're alone."

A month? Had he been here that long already? Last week his sons was here to visit him, and he recalled the day, wondering if he had made a great goodbye. Of course, then they didn't knew it was the last time they would see each other. None of them did. Was he sorry for that? He didn't know. But he was glad they seemed okay when he met them. Darry a bit tired, Soda a bit sad, Pony a bit afraid, but otherwise, okay. He had hugged them, and they had hugged him back. That had to do. He couldn't go back in time to make the last goodbye better. He only hoped they knew he loved them, and always had. He wondered how they would take the news. Maybe they were better off without him. Yes, they were.

"The guard..." he said, for no reason. He really didn't want to know. Some of the guards was on the wrong side of the bars. Maybe they had paid him to disappear for the moment. Maybe he owe them something. He didn't cared about the guard. It was good that he was gone.

"Don't worry about him." The man in the middle still smiled. "I'm Toby, by the way," he added. The men who flanked him didn't said anything. Mr. Curtis was a tall man, but both of them was taller than him. Not that it mattered. He hadn't tried to get away anyway. He welcomed this. It was easier this way.

"I'm Darrel Curtis."

"Like I wouldn't know." Like magic, Toby held a knife in his hand, and for a second Mr. Curtis wondered if it was the same as the last time. But this time, it wouldn't fail its mission.

"Do your job," he said, and thought about Anne. Soon he would see her again. "I won't stop you." He closed his eyes, and the last thing he saw before the pain took everything away, was his family. Smiling, happy, lovely, living. And he hoped his sons would be able to still be that way when he was gone.

_**The End**_

* * *

><p>This is the longest story I've ever written! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed to write it. Thanks for your reviews who really held my motivation up!<p>

Sorry for that I killed Mr. Curtis. I had planned it from the beginning, and I hope you're not mad at me now :) I just wanted the Curtis brothers to be orphans. The outsiders isn't the Outsiders if their parents are alive. And this way, the book can still happen afterwards.


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